初信造就 › 第三十篇　婚姻

第三十篇　婚姻

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　　一个基督徒要作得好，必须把所有基本的问题，都好好的对付过。如果有一个基本的问题，不管是在家庭里，或是在职业里，没有对付好，下面就有许多的问题出来。只要有一个难处，就够叫基督徒受到耽搁，不能在神面前走正直的路。
　　今天要说到婚姻的问题。初信的弟兄应该知道，主的话对于他们的婚姻到底怎么说。我们要从各方面来看这一个问题。
　
　　关于婚姻的问题，第一个要解决的，就是性的感觉的问题。我想我们必须清楚，人有性的感觉，像人有饥饿的感觉一样。饥饿的感觉如果是身体天然的要求，性的感觉也同样是身体天然的要求。一个人有饥饿的感觉，乃是自然的，并不是罪。一个人想去偷着吃，那是罪，那不是自然的。照样，人有性的感觉也是自然的，并不是罪。乃是人用不正当地方法来满足自己的要求，那就要落到罪里去。
　　我们要看见，人的婚姻乃是神所定规的，乃是神所开始的。所以性的感觉是神给人的。婚姻的规定，不是在犯罪之后的事，乃是在犯罪之前的事。婚姻的规定，不是在创世记三章之后的事，乃是在创世记三章之前的事。在创世记二章里，神就规定了。所以，性的感觉的产生，乃是在罪还没有进入世界之前就有的，不是在罪进入世界之后才有的。因此，人有性的感觉，绝不是罪。在这一个感觉的里面，没有罪的成分。并且，这一个感觉乃是神自己所创造的。
　　这一点，初信的弟兄们必须弄清楚。我在这三十年相信主和事奉主的过程中，曾接触过许多青年弟兄姊妹。我遇到许多的人，在婚姻问题上受到搅扰。他们因为不知道神的定规，不清楚神的话，就无谓的受到良心的控告。他们有这一个感觉，就以为是有罪。他们有这一个要求，就以为是有罪。有的弟兄弄到严重的地步，甚至疑惑神的工作，只因为他有性的感觉。要知道，以性为罪的思想，是异教的思想。我们对于神的话要看得准。人觉得肚子饿不是罪，照样，人有性的需要也不是罪，这是天然的感觉。
　　希伯来十三章告诉我们说，“婚姻，人人都当尊重。”（4）婚姻不仅是该尊重的，并且是圣洁的。所以我们要看见，神不只认为性是天然的，神也认为性是圣洁的。
　　有一位梅尔博士，是和慕迪同工的，他写了许多书都是最好的。他特别注重造就。他曾说，“只有全世界最污秽的头脑，才以为性是污秽的。”我想，这一句话是最好的。乃是因为人自己污秽的缘故，所以把污秽的思想带到性里面去。人如果是清洁的，就凡事在他身上都是清洁的。人如果是污秽的，就凡事在他身上都是污秽的。因为他的头脑是污秽的，所以什么事情到他身上，他都往污秽里去思想。现在我们要看见，婚姻乃是清洁的。在神所规定的性的关系，乃是圣洁的、清洁的，而不是污秽的。
　　保罗在提前四1、3说到，在末后的时候，要有鬼魔的道理出来。在这些鬼魔的道理当中，有一部分是禁止嫁娶。在这里你们要看见说，鬼魔的道理，也是为着寻求圣洁。彭伯所写的书，曾清楚地指明说，将来有人因追求圣洁，所以禁止嫁娶，以为没有嫁娶就能作一个圣洁的人。但是保罗在提摩太前书里说，禁止嫁娶乃是鬼魔的道理。所以，你们要知道，神没有禁止嫁娶。
　　人不应该因着有异教看法的缘故，良心受无谓的控告。性的感觉，是天然的，不是罪。乃是注意到如何对付这一个感觉的时候，才会发生问题说，到底会不会变作罪。不是没有感觉的存在的问题。有感觉的存在，乃是自然的，不是罪。要看怎样对付这一个感觉，才能说，有没有罪。这一件事要彻底的解决，不然良心有了控告，就不能长进。那些罪不是事实上的罪，乃是因着不明白而产生的。
　
　
　　婚姻，乃是神所定规的。在创世记里你就看见，神说一个人独居不好。当神作创造的工的时候，神对所造的一切东西，样样都说好。除了第二天之外，天天祂都说，祂所造的是好的。第二天，因为空中是撒但的地方，神没有说好，其余每一天神所作的都是好的。但是到了第六天，神造人才造一个的时候，神不只没有说好，反而说不好。神说，“那人独居不好。”不是说人造的不好，乃是说人只造了一个，只造了一半，所以说不好。
　　神替亚当造一个配偶，也是在第六天造的。神把夏娃造出来，就带到亚当面前。所以夏娃的产生，乃是为着婚姻。
　　“配偶”这个辞的意思：要把她配上去，才能叫他得着帮助。这个字在希伯来文的意思就是能配他，给他帮助。
　　有许多读圣经的人，常常注意这一句话。当神造人的时候，神在那里需要有男人加上女人。但是圣经说，神造人。所以神造人，乃是造男人也造女人，那才成功作一个人。好像说，神起头的时候，先造一半的人，然后看看人是一半，所以再造一个。两个半个合起来，才成功作一个。两个半个合起来，才是完全的。所以，等夏娃造好之后，才说祂的工作是好的。这给我们看见说，婚姻不是人起头的，乃是神起头的。婚姻的起点，不是在人犯罪之后，乃是远在人犯罪之前。人不是第一天受造就犯罪，人是第一天受造就结婚。神把夏娃造好之后，第一天就带给亚当。这不是犯罪之后的事。婚姻的事，乃是神发起的。
　　在创世记二章神的创造里，有婚姻。到了约翰二章，也就是主耶稣刚出来传道的时候，在迦拿也有婚姻，主耶稣把酒加进去。这就给我们看见，主不只许可这件事，并且称许这件事，嘉许这件事。你在那里看见说，主耶稣不只在人结婚时出席，主并且帮助他作得更好。所以，婚姻这一件事，是神所发起的，也是主耶稣所特别嘉许的。所以这一件事是完全出于神的。
　　在这里，你们就看见婚姻在神面前的地位。神的目的乃是要有一个丈夫，有一个妻子，是能够彼此帮助的，所以称他的妻子作配偶。“配偶，”希伯来文的意思是说，要配他，来帮助他。可以说是“配助。”你们在这里看见说，神要人有一个共同的生活，要彼此有交通，彼此有帮助。这是神的目的。
　
　　在旧约，罪还没有进来的时候，神已经设立了婚姻。到了新约的时候，保罗在林前七章，就给我们看见说，因为有罪进来的缘故，不只不禁止婚姻，反而变作更需要婚姻。
　　婚姻能防止罪。所以保罗就告诉我们说，为了要免去奸淫的罪的缘故，男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫（2）。在林前七章里面，保罗并没有定性的感觉为有罪，他反而给我们看见，男女都应该结婚，才能防止罪。
　　你们记得，保罗说，不要为肉体安排（罗十三14）。比方有一个人，会犯骄傲的罪。保罗不能对他说，“你这一个人骄傲，常常犯罪；因怕你到处骄傲不对，就让你在家里骄傲吧！如果有地方骄傲，就不骄傲了。”如果这样作，这就叫作为肉体安排。你要骄傲，我安排一下，叫你不至于骄傲。神从来不这样作。再比方一个欢喜偷东西，你不能说，“你这个人这样欢喜偷，太不好了，我现在许可你偷某某弟兄的东西，就免得你偷别地方的东西。”不。你乃是说，“我不给你偷，任何地方都不可以偷。”偷东西绝对是罪，是不能安排的。骄傲绝对是罪，是不能安排的。但性不是绝对的罪，所以男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫。不然的话，保罗这一句话就是为肉体安排。我们知道，使徒不为肉体安排，所以这不是罪。婚姻不是神为肉体安排。我们要在这里把婚姻摆在最高的地位上，看见婚姻是圣洁的，是神自己所设立的。
　　因为罪进来，婚姻能防止罪的产生，所以要有婚姻。这不是为肉体安排，这里面有相当清楚地分别。
　　保罗在林前七章说到婚姻的问题，在起头的时候就说，男人不能主张自己的身体，女人也不能主张自己的身体（4）。保罗在这里的教训是够清楚地，夫妻除非为了事奉主的缘故，否则就不应该分开，免得有奸淫（5）。神为着防止奸淫的缘故，就定规说，男女应该结婚，并且应该不分开。
　　保罗在这里用相当重的字眼，提起说，有的人是感觉过强的人。性的感觉过于强烈，为免欲火攻心，保罗说，应该结婚（9）。保罗没有责备这样的人。保罗没有说，“你有强的感觉是错的，你有强的感觉是罪，所以要为肉体安排。”保罗说，“你有强的感觉，你要结婚。与其有强的感觉，倒不如结婚好。”所以，神的话对于这件事非常清楚。性的感觉不是罪。就是性的感觉相当强的人也不是罪。并且神规定，性的感觉强的人应该结婚。不要一面又不结婚，一面又落到罪里面去。这就是主给我们看见的。
　　这样，婚姻的设立，就变作有旧约和新约两个不同的方面。在旧约里，乃是给我们看见说，有一个配偶，给我们帮助。在新约里乃是说，能够防止犯罪。所以今天在基督徒的婚姻中，一面是注意彼此的帮助，一面是为着防止犯罪。
　
　　第三，彼得在他的前书三7说，妻子乃是“一同承受恩典的器皿。”换句话说，神喜欢夫妻一同来事奉祂。神欢喜有亚居拉、百基拉来事奉祂，欢喜有彼得和他的妻子，犹大和他的妻子，一同来事奉祂。
　　所以，在基督徒的婚姻里，有三个基本的性质。一个是彼此帮助，一个是防止犯罪，一个是两个人在神面前一同受恩。不只是一个人作基督徒，乃是两个人作基督徒。不只是一个人受恩，乃是两个人共同受恩。
　
　　另一面，圣经也给我们看见说，有的人虽然有性的感觉，可是他这个感觉不强，没有需要来满足这个要求。圣经就劝这样的人守童身。
　
　　不是说，童身比结婚更圣洁（指着属灵方面的）。但是，守童身的人，的确能够将身体的力量，完全用在主的工作上。这一个，也是在林前七章里提到的。
　　保罗给我们看见说，结婚的人有三个难处。第一，结婚是一个缠累。他说，“有妻子缠着。”（27）许多时候，人一结婚就不得自由，人一结婚就有许多事情要作。因为有妻子缠着，所以就不得不作。第二，结婚的人有苦难。他说，“肉身必受苦难。”（28）人一有婚姻，自然而然肉身的苦难就必加增，叫他不能专心事奉主。第三，结婚的人是为着世上的事挂虑（32~34）。这一个为着世上的事的挂虑，主耶稣在马太十三章说，很容易把麦子挤在荆棘里面，不能够结果子（22）。总而言之，结婚在家庭的事情上有它的难处：有缠累，有苦难，有挂虑。
　　保罗的这些话，不只是对作工的人说的，也是对所有的弟兄姊妹说的。人如果守童身，能够省去许多难处。保罗没有命令叫他们守童身，但是读保罗的话，保罗的倾向是要人守童身。保罗在那里没有什么自己的主张，只是将事实告诉弟兄们，你们如果结婚是好，因为能够免去犯罪的危险；可是结婚要叫你们多有缠累，多有苦难，同时多有世上的挂虑。
　
　　保罗在下面就给我们看见说，什么样的人可以守童身。他说，有的人，有神的恩赐的人，就可以守童身。守童身乃是神的一个恩赐。这个人接受神的恩赐是这样，那个人接受神的恩赐是那样。若是我需要结婚，连结婚也是神的恩赐，没有恩赐就结婚不来。所以保罗说，“各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。”（林前七7）守童身的人，有神的恩赐；结婚的人，也有神的恩赐。
　　一个守童身的人，第一个条件，就是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。你们知道，在有的人身上，性的力量是强迫他；在有的人身上，是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。凡是没有性的强迫的人，就可以守童身。
　　第二，自己有意思守，而且是坚定的。36~37节说，“若有人以为自己待他的童贞不合宜，也过了年岁，事又当行，他就可随意办理，不算有罪，成亲就是了。倘若人心里坚定，没有不得已的事，并且由得自己作主，心里又决定留下童贞，如此行也好。”（原文）保罗给我们看见说，守童身乃是人自己有这意思，人自己要。不只是我这一个人没有性的强迫，并且是我自己要守童身，我自己有意思守童身。若有人以为说，我这样待我的童身不对，他就可以结婚，若有人有意思守童身，有倾向守童身，并且是坚定的要在这里守，这一个人就可以守。所以心里的坚定是需要的。
　　第三，必须没有环境上的难处。37节提起说，“没有不得已的事。”有的人在环境上有难处，不容易安排。有的人如果要守童身，也许家庭里有许多难处。所以必须在环境上有安排，才能守童身。
　　保罗在这里给我们看见守童身的三个基本条件：（一）感觉不强迫。（二）心里坚定的要这样作。（三）没有环境上的难处。这三个条件都具备了，就能够守童身。
　
　　守童身的人，的的确确是能够在神面前多得着的人。我想，马太十九章是够清楚地给我们看见，守童身的人的的确确更容易进天国。我们必须承认，马太十九章里“为天国的缘故自阉的人，”（12）相当明显是说到守童身与天国发生关系。我们不敢说，守童身与天国发生什么关系，但是我们能说，守童身的的确确对于进天国有上算的地方。所以，主才在这里告诉我们说，有的人为着进天国的缘故自阉，要守童身。
　　不只如此，到了启示录十四章，你看见那些初熟的果子（－启示录十四万四千人），都是守童身的；羔羊无论往哪里去，他们都跟着。（3~4）这十四万四千人是特别早被提的人。所以我们看见，守童身的的确确与被提发生关系。将来我们要知道，守童身的人的的确确在进天国和被提的事上上算。至于今天呢？保罗说，守童身的的确确能够减少苦难，能够好好的事奉神。
　　这一件事，我们只能摆在弟兄姊妹面前。因为人必须没有性的强迫才能作。必须自己能够定规才能作，也必须在环境上有这一个安排，没有什么特别的需要才能作。我们就是按着圣经的教训，很客观的摆在弟兄姊妹面前，让各人在神的面前有挑选。
　
　　在婚姻的事情上，神曾安排下条件，就是与谁能结婚，与谁不能结婚。神在圣经里给我们看得够清楚，神的子民的婚姻，只应当限于神的子民之中。换句话说，如果有婚姻的事，是应该以神的子民为对象，不应该在神的子民之外来结婚。
　
　　在旧约里，就有够多的命令，给我们看见说，我们不应该在神的子民之外与别的人结婚。
　　申七3~4告诉我们，不可与以色列人之外的迦南人结婚。不可将女儿嫁给他们的儿子，也不可叫儿子娶他们的女儿。因为他们必使我们转离不跟从主，去事奉别神。所以，神在旧约里已经够清楚地给我们看见，婚姻的对象乃是在主里的人。不能在信主的人之外找妻子，不能在信主的人之外找丈夫。不然的话，最大的难处，就是要叫我们离弃耶和华，去事奉别神。妻子跟着丈夫去拜偶像，是容易的事。丈夫跟着妻子去拜偶像，也是容易的事。因为既然结婚，就很容易去拜他们的神。
　　书二三12~13，也警戒以色人，不要与当地的人结婚。他们要成为一个网罗，要成为你的刺，在你身上。你要看见，你的妻子是你的刺，你的丈夫是你的刺，结果你们要落到网罗里去。
　　在尼希米的时候，以色列人从被掳之地回到犹太地后，有许多人因为娶外邦女子为妻，结果落到一个地步，他们不能讲犹太的话。所以，在尼希米十三章23~27节，要他们与外邦女子完全断绝，不要与外邦女子有来往。在这里你们要看见，与外邦的女子结婚，有一个难处，就是你所生的儿女，迟早要跟他们走，不能和你一同事奉神。你们如果娶外邦人，或是嫁给外邦人，你们的儿女很容易跟着他们走，落到世界里去，这是相当难的事。
　　玛拉基章二十一节给我们看见，以色列人有许多诡诈的罪，他们亵渎神的圣洁，因他们娶外邦人为妻。以神的眼光来看，娶外邦女子，就是亵渎神的圣洁。所以，基督徒的婚姻乃是有对象的，基督徒婚姻的对象只应该是在信徒中间。
　　我们从所罗门的事也可以得到一个鉴戒。所罗门是最有智慧的王，但因为娶外邦的女子，就也拜偶像，陷入拜偶像的地步。
　
　　在新约里，保罗对我们说的话够清楚。林前七39，他对寡妇说，要嫁给在主里的人。
　　林后六14，这是一段顶有名的圣经，给我们看见，信的和不信的不能同负一轭。这句话不只是指着婚姻说的，但是也包括婚姻在内。信的和不信的不要作同样的事，不要为着同一个目的，就像把一个轭摆在两个人的背上来犁田，这是神不许可的。神不许可一个信的和一个不信的在那里负一个轭。在旧约里面，一只牛不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。一匹驴也不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。不能一个快，一个慢。不能一个往这一边走，一个往那一边走。不能一个往天上去，一个往世界去。不能一个要得着属灵的祝福，一个要得着世界的丰富。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边，这一个轭非折断不可。
　　在信的和不信的不能同负一轭的事情上，没有一件事比婚姻更厉害。从合股作生意起，或者加入什么事起，一直到婚姻为止，最厉害的轭是婚姻。信的人和不信的人一同在那里负起家庭的责任，结果定规是相当的难。所以，最理想的结婚对象必须是弟兄，是姊妹。千万不要随意去找不信的人。你如果随意去找外面不信的人，将来定规相当困难。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边。一个往天上去，一个往世界去。一个寻求天上的恩赐，一个寻求世界的丰富。其间不知道差多少倍。所以圣经的命令，要嫁娶在主里面的人。
　
　　在这里发生一个问题，假定有一个弟兄已经结婚了，他的妻子是不信的；或者有一个姊妹，她的丈夫是不信的，那该怎么作？刚才是说，人如果没有结婚，人如果要寻找对象，就应该寻找主里面的弟兄，主里面的姊妹。但是，有的人已经结婚了，已经有一个不信的妻子，或者有一个不信的丈夫，该怎么办？
　
　　这一件事，在林前七章里有记载。七12节、13节、15节，答复这一个问题说，如果夫妻中有一个信了主，在家庭里面发生了难处，要怎么办。请你们记得，今天因为许多人信主信得不彻底，所以家庭里的难处不多。主耶稣在福音书里，预料家庭的难处是多的。信主的人如果信得彻底，家庭里就要发生事情。路加福音里所说的三个和两个相争，两个和三个相争，都是因着信主而发生的。所以，今天如果有一个丈夫，因着妻子信主的缘故，他走开；他说，你信了主，我不要你。这时，这位妻子该怎么办？主在林前七章这里的话是够清楚地，就是让他走。所以，如果有丈夫因着妻子信主的缘故要走开，如果有妻子因着丈夫信主的缘故要走开，就让他离开吧。
　　可是，这一件事必须弄清楚，就是说，主动的不是我们，乃是他。不是我说要走开，乃是他说要走开。是他在那里不满意，以为你相信了主，没有前途，所以他要走。如果他要走，就让他走。
　
　　如果他无所谓，保罗说，那就不必离开。因为你怎么知道主不会因着你拯救他？他如果无所谓，他如果要住下去，保罗说，我们就应该和人和睦，我们不应该离开。他说，不信的人能够因为着信的人成圣。同时他说，你怎么知道不能拯救他呢？如果他要离开，那是他的事，不是你的事。如果他不离开，我们相信主会救他，并且保罗说，救他是相当容易的事。主救旁的人不容易，但这个人是你的人，主救他特别容易。我们要站在这一个地位上，来对付这一件事。
　
　　还有的弟兄姊妹有另外的难处，就是已经和不信的人订了婚，那应该怎么办？
　
　　主不要我们与不信的人结婚，这是相当清楚地。所以，若有人已经与不信的人订了婚，最好不信的未婚夫，或不信的未婚妻，自动的来解约。因为还没有结婚，不过有婚约而已。若是主开路，不信的那一方面因着你信主，而乐意解约，这是相当好的事。
　
　　不过，这一件事，许多时候不可能。因为既然有了婚约，对方不会因为你信了主，就很容易的放手。这个时候要记得说，我与人订婚是与人立了一个约，那一个约就是我在神面前所给人的一个应许。基督徒不能因着自己信了主的缘故随便毁约。因为约在神面前都是圣的。你看见说，你如果能够向他提议分开，这是好的事。他可以提议离开，你也可以提议离开。这一个提议不一定要他主动，这和刚才的不一样。已经结了婚的，是他主动。已经订了婚的，我可以主动说，最好分开。他如果一定要我履行婚约，我就必定要履行。因为一个基督徒，话说出去了，就必须履行，不能破坏。神就是照着话行，所以有救恩。神如果说话不算数，就连救恩都没有了。所以，我们要和对方讲好，如果人不愿意，就非娶她，非嫁他不可。
　　诗篇十五篇里说，“他发了誓，虽然自己吃亏，也不更改。”（4）当以色列人进了迦南地后，基遍人欺骗了他们，用霉的饼，破的衣服，破的鞋子，来说他们是远处的人。约书亚就应许不杀他们。后来找出来他们是近处的人，但因已经立了约，所以神不许杀他们，至多叫他们作砍柴挑水的人。（书九3~27）所以，在圣经里，非常看重守约的事。他自己乐意放弃，我放弃不要紧。如果他不乐意放弃，我就不能放弃。基遍的事是非常厉害的。后来因为扫罗杀了基遍人，天就不下雨。大卫没有办法，就问基遍人怎么办？基遍人要把扫罗的子孙七个人悬挂在树上，大卫只得照办。（撒下二一1~6）所以，神不许可我们马马虎虎的毁约。我们必须学习，立了约就应当按着约行。我们不能作一件不义的事。
　
　　你和人订了婚约，现在你信了主，对方一定要嫁，或者一定要娶，这怎么办？在这里有一件事你可以作，就是和对方先约好。你说，“我定规娶你，或者嫁你；不过有几件事，在没有结婚之前，我要和你讲好。”那几件事呢？第一，你必须让我能事奉主。我不是假冒的到你家里来，我是挂了旗子来的。我今天是基督徒，是嫁你也好，是娶你也好，你必须给我自由事奉主，你不能干涉我的事奉主。第二，如果将来有儿女，必须按着主的教训来养育他们。你信不信是你的事，但是我们的儿女，必须照主的教训来养育。话要说在先。这一件事绝对要提起，预先说好。不预先说好就有难处，预先说好就没有难处。嫁一个不信的人是一个损失，娶一个不信的人也是一个损失。要减少损失，减少难处，我们就得先说好。你要给我自由，儿女要信主。我已经作基督徒，我不往世界去。我已经作基督徒，我是往主那一边去。你如果觉得好就好，你如果觉得不好就解约。我们要把将来的行为摆在他们面前。我想，如果这样作，可以稍微减少一点难处。
　
　　这乃是事实上的难处，而不是理想上的难处，我们只能说，在这件事上，在圣经里没有教训。不过，我们要摸保罗的感觉。保罗在林前七章里盼望说，如果可能，寡妇不出嫁。但是他又说，盼望寡妇嫁给在主里的人（39）。所以，当有需要的时候，寡妇可以出嫁。我们根据这一个原则，就能看见说，一个弟兄最好是娶在主里面的姊妹。如果没有那一个可能，他能够不娶是最好，他如果需要娶的话，我们还是愿意他娶。就是不信的，我们还是愿意他娶。
　　我们提起这一件事，并不是像世人所说，两害之中取其轻的。我们乃是说，宁可犯神行政上的罪，而不犯道德上的罪。我如果不结婚会犯罪，那是犯道德上的罪。我如果娶不信的女子，我是犯神行政上的罪。罪有两种，一种是道德上的罪，一种是神行政上的罪。请你们记得，道德上的罪比行政上的罪重。我宁可犯神行政上的罪，不可犯道德上的罪。今天一个弟兄有结婚的需要，找不到姊妹，他如果能够不娶更好，如果不能不娶，他就是娶不信的人，也只能让他娶。
　　如果你娶不信的人，你的眼睛必须开起来，必须知道难处非常大。一个人信主之后，如果娶一个不信的人，难处特别大。这比一对不信的夫妻，后来有一个相信了，所遭受的难处要大得多。后来信主的丈夫或妻子，他在家庭里面会遇到难处，但许多时候主要把他带过去。一个人已经相信了主，再去娶不信的人，许多时候，的确有许多难为。我们要告诉他，他的眼睛必须开着，知道在前面有难处。
　　一个人如果娶一个不信的人，还要告诉他，必须防备给对方带走。请记得，你娶不信的人，稍微不小心，很容易就给她带走。已经结了婚的，或者已经订了婚的，固然也要小心，但是这一个要特别小心。换句话说，要特别的保护、保守，特别的祷告，不要给她掳去。
　　你若不得已和不信的人结婚，也必须先把条件讲清楚。你要告诉这不信的人说，我已经信了，你信不信我不勉强你，可是你不能干涉我信仰的事，你要给我完全的自由。还有儿女的问题，也必须提起。关于儿女信仰的事，你必须给我自由带他信主。我要我的儿女相信主，我不要他们拜偶像，或者效法世人的样子。你把这些话说得差不多的时候，也许这一个问题可以勉强过去。
　　我要对年长一点的弟兄姊妹说几句话，当你们看到初信的弟兄姊妹遇见这样的问题时，你们要小心，不要给他们把门开得太大，以致他们随便与不信的人结婚。另一面，不要把门关得太紧，以致他们不犯行政上的罪，而去犯道德上的罪。宁可让他们碰着神的行政，落在神政治的手里，不可让他们犯道德上的罪。
　　关于这一面的事，我有一点意见。各地的青年弟兄姊妹并不少，若是在择配上发生难处，主要是因许多弟兄姊妹对于人的出身，对于人的背景看得太重。如果要一个身分高一点的弟兄，娶一个身分低一点的姊妹，他就不乐意。如果要一个身分高一点的姊妹，嫁给一个身分低一点的弟兄，她就不乐意。今天，弟兄并不缺少，姊妹也不缺少。就是由于这个门第问题，发生了许多难处。我想，如果弟兄姊妹对于职业的看法有点改变，这一个问题就容易解决。如果看种地的弟兄不是低的，姊妹出嫁就容易。如果看种地的姊妹不是低的，弟兄娶也容易。今天我们把神所以为高的职业看为低，把人所以为高的职业看为高，所以就不容易解决。今天在我们中间，不缺少姊妹，不缺少弟兄，所缺少的是门第上的相配。而这一个门第是世界的。所以，要将职业的观念完全转过来，这个问题才能解决。
　
　　在圣经里，没有命令人脱离他自己的妾。在圣经里，没有一个地方，从神的眼光来看，要勉强人叫妾离开。这是指着没有信主之前所娶的。在圣经里，我想也有够多的地方给我们看见，神要人怎样对待他的妾。
　　或者，我先提起人今天的要求，然后来看圣经的要求。人的要求，第一，要把所有的妾遣散。第二，如果不遣散，丈夫不应该和他的妾有性的关系。这是弟兄姊妹普通的思想。但这不是神所给我们看见的，这是异教的思想。
　
　　我们看见，在圣经里没有一个人娶妾比大卫更坏；他不只是娶妾，并且是谋害人命来娶妾。乌利亚的丧命，是因着妻子的缘故。大卫是牺牲乌利亚来得着拔示巴。而所罗门是拔示巴所生的。主耶稣也是拔示巴所生的。这一个事实，直到新约，主还承认。马太一章里面有拔示巴的名字，而且是说乌利亚的妻子。有四个女人在马太一章里面。这一件事情你们必须看见：娶妾的人只能自己伏在神管教的手下，不能把妾赶出去。
　　为什么圣经没有要求把妾赶出去呢？请你们记得，奸淫的罪，与娶妾完全不一样。我今天偷了人一本圣经，我能够还他一本圣经。我今天偷了人一千块钱，我能够还他一千块钱。我今天娶了一个妾，我没有法子还她。
　　有的弟兄以为说，应该把妾赶出去。他是从男人的眼光来看。男人在神面前要知道，娶妾是犯奸淫。但妾嫁给你，并没有嫁两个丈夫。你娶了两个女子，她没有嫁两个丈夫。所以，你们要看见说，主在这里没有叫人把妾赶出去。
　　我想，所罗门母亲的原则是够清楚地。主为着大卫娶拔示巴的缘故，特意差派先知拿单去找大卫。主所有的话，都已经叫拿单说了，所以不要在拿单之外，加上什么话。拿单所漏掉的，不必你在三千年后的今天再来补。拿单对他说，你的儿子要死，报应要来；十个妃嫔，人要在明处与她们犯奸淫；刀剑要在你的家里。（撒下十二7~14）拿单没有说，要把拔示巴打发回去。你把她打发回去，她怎么办？乌利亚死了。有的人没有乌利亚，有的人乌利亚死了，这怎么办？所以，神打发拿单去见大卫，并没有要大卫把拔示巴赶出去。反而到了后来，神叫她生所罗门（24）。在大卫的妻子中，神没有叫一个生所罗门，神却叫大卫的妾拔示巴生所罗门。并且新约第一页说，大卫从乌利亚的妻子生所罗门（太一6下）。新约里，没有说可以娶妾，但是也没有说要赶妾。
　
　　出二一9~11曾经规定，一个主人若选定一个婢女给自己的儿子，就当待她如同女儿。如果将来这个儿子正式娶亲，这一个婢女就变作妾。神在这里规定这一件事非常清楚，就是说，在她的吃食、衣服、并好合的事上不可减少。如果不向她行这三样，她就可以出去，不再是奴仆。所以，人如果以为不能与妾有好合的事，这是根本不遵守神的律法。我盼望你们将这一件事弄清楚。
　
　　在新约里，只有一个地方，讲到妾的问题。我们读圣经，就是喜欢看到一件事只有一个地方提起。如果在圣经里，一件事有两个地方提起，就必须比较。如果有三个以上的地方提起，就要综合起来看，才能知道神的教训。所以，每一个圣经的学者，都喜欢只有一个地方的话，因为只要读这一个地方，就知道神对于这一件事的旨意。在新约里，只有一个地方，就是提摩太前书，提到妾的问题。那里说，作教会长老的人，只应该作一个妇人的丈夫（三2）。所以，凡娶妾的人，在教会里不应该作长老。但是，新约圣经并没有说，他应该把妾赶出去，或者说不应该有好合的事。
　
　　如果一个妾已经得救了，她只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫，愿意和丈夫分开，也是好事。这是自愿，不是主的要求，也不是教会的要求。教会对于这一件事不应该有要求。
　　神所配合的只有两个。这一个原则，无论如何要维持。所以，相当明显，一个人娶了妾，肉身上的苦难就比娶一个妻子的要多，在管治上要大大增加。
　
玖
　
离婚
　　在圣经里，有离婚的规定。但是，在圣经里，离婚只根据一个条件。世界各国的法律，对于离婚有许多规定；有的国家规定了二十几条，我们中国也规定了多少条，说到夫妻若有一方精神丧失，或不同意等等，就能够离婚。但是在圣经里，只有一个条件可以离婚，那唯一的条就是犯奸淫。人精神丧失也好，失踪多年也好，这些都不是条件。乃是与别人有性的行为，这是唯一的条件。主耶稣在马太十九章，路加十六章里清楚给我们看见，人如果犯了奸淫，就可以离婚。
　
　　你们也许要问，为着什么犯奸淫就可以离婚呢？因为神所配合的，人不可分开。换句话说，从神看来，夫妻乃是合一的，任何的离婚都是破坏这一个合一。什么叫作犯奸淫？就是破坏那一个合一。你在你自己的丈夫之外，你在你自己的妻子之外有性的行为，你犯了奸淫，你就是破坏了合一。所以，请你们记得，不管一个失踪了多年也好，精神丧失也好，精神虐待也好，或者其他的理由也好，他的丈夫或妻子若是离开，去和别人结婚，就是破坏合一，犯了奸淫。
　
　　为什么犯奸淫可以离婚呢？因为已经把合一破坏了。你本来和你的丈夫是合一的，你的丈夫一犯奸淫，你就可以自由。本来是合一的，所以你要保守。现在那一个合一他已经失去了，所以你可以自由。所以，犯奸淫是唯一离婚的条件。丈夫犯奸淫，妻子要离开，可以。如果有一个姊妹，她的丈夫犯奸淫，或者娶妾，这一个姊妹可以离婚，教会不能拦阻。她不只可以离婚，还可以改嫁。任何破坏这一个合一的，都是罪。所以只有犯奸淫可以离开，因为犯奸淫已经破坏了那合一。离婚不过是宣布说，我和我丈夫的合一已经没有了。没有合一，她要改嫁就可以。
　　马太十九章，路加十六章，是两个够清楚地地方，我们要好好的注意。离婚是根据奸淫。奸淫把老的合一破坏了，夫妻不再是一个，是两个了，所以可以离婚。为什么可以离婚？因为已经没有合一了。所以，夫妻的离婚，是在－路加一方犯奸淫的时候，不是在办离婚手续的时候。今天所谓的离婚，不过是手续而已。婚姻的存在，是宣告那一个合一的存在；离婚，是宣布那一个合一已经不存在。所以，犯了奸淫可以离婚。没有犯奸淫而离婚，结果双方都是犯奸淫。假定说，丈夫和妻子都没有犯奸淫的事，就是相处不好，也不能离婚。－路加一旦离婚了，就是犯奸淫。那一个合一还在，如果改嫁改娶，都是犯奸淫。只有合一不存在，才可以离婚。
　　所以我们要认识，什么叫作婚姻？婚姻就是合一。两个人不再是两个人，是一体。奸淫就是拆毁合一。离婚是宣布合一的拆毁。今天合一在我们中间已经没有了，所以可以改嫁。合一如果还在，两个人就是吵得顶厉害，不相和，要离婚；世界上的人许可，世界上的法律也许可，但从神的眼光来看，不许可。先离婚反而是犯奸淫。只有先犯奸淫后离婚才是可以的。我们一定要看见说，神所配合的，人不能分开。既然有了配合，千万不要分开，这是不可能的事。
　
　　为着这个缘故，圣经里也就许可，已经死了妻子的人可以再娶，寡妇可以再嫁。婚姻只到死为止。婚姻的关系，复活的时候不存在。复活的时候，人也不娶，也不嫁（太二二30）。娶和嫁是在这一个世界里面的事。天使也不娶，也不嫁。复活的人也不娶，也不嫁。嫁娶是今生的事，不是来生的事。所以，婚姻是到死为止。到了死的时候，你如果为着已往情感的缘故，不娶不嫁也可以。你如果要再娶或再嫁，圣经里许可这件事。
　　我们可以注意罗马七章的教训。那里说，每一个基督徒都是再嫁的人。借着基督的死，借着基督的复活，我们再嫁了。罗马七章给我们看见说，丈夫管人是在活着的时候，丈夫死了，妻子就可以再嫁。凡丈夫没有死而另嫁的，就是淫妇。如果我们在律法上没有死，作安息日会的人，那我们都是淫妇。感谢神，我们只有－罗马一个丈夫。安息日会有两个丈夫。罗马七章的教训说，律法没有死，我们不能属乎基督；如果属乎基督，我们就是淫妇。我们本来是嫁给律法的人，是属乎律法的人。但因着基督，我们已经死了；今天我们拣选基督，不是淫妇。我们都是再嫁给基督的人。我们在律法上已经死了，所以我们不是淫妇。所以，罗马七章说，丈夫管妻子是到死为止。丈夫一死，妻子就有自由。在教会里，绝不应该有一个观念，以为寡妇再嫁是错的。这一种的思想，是外邦人的思想。
　　如果寡妇像守童身的人一样，不再嫁人，这是好的。保罗说，我盼望寡妇和没有嫁娶的人，能像我一样。如果是为着事奉主，也像守童身那样独身是对的。如果是因着社会上人的批评，社会上人的看法而不结婚，这是错的。我盼望在教会里能除去这一个看法。
　　保罗对提摩太说，我盼望年轻的寡妇出嫁，这就像一个弟兄再娶一样。今天的问题，是你有没有那一个需要。有的在生理上有那一个需要。有的人觉得孤单，这是心理的需要。有的人家庭环境有需要。如果有的弟兄死了妻子，结婚是对的。如果有的姊妹死了丈夫，结婚也是对的。基督徒不可在这件事上有批评。我们要把异教的思想拿走。
　
拾壹
　
罪的问题
　　神在圣经里承认说，性是对的，性的感觉是对的，性的行为也是对的。性的感觉不只不是罪，并且是圣洁的。但这只限定于婚姻里面。在婚姻里面，这是对的，并且是圣洁的。任何性的感觉，或者行为，在合一之外的都是罪。你们看见么，什么叫作罪？就是说，在婚姻之外的叫作罪。为什么缘故？因为在婚姻之外，你就破坏了那个合一。所以，罪的存在乃是由于破坏合一，罪的存在不是由于性本身。性本身没有罪，这一件事，我们必在神面前看清楚。
　　比方说，主耶稣在马太五章里说，“你们听见有话说，‘不可奸淫。’只是我告诉你们，凡看见妇女就动淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。”（28）这里的“看见”原文乃是“看，”没有“见”的意思。“看”是有意志的作用在里面。是看妇女，不是见妇女。见是被动的，看是主动的。下面还有一个字“动淫念，”有的英文本翻作To Iust after her 。不是说，见妇女就产生淫念；乃是说，为着动了淫念所以去看。是动淫念在先，不是看在先。我们中文圣经是说，“凡看见妇女就动淫念的。”但主不是这样说。主是说，“凡看妇女，为着动了淫念的。”这一个看是第二次的看，不是第一次的看。第一次是你在路上看见妇女，第二次是你看她。在你第一次的看和第二次的看之间，你已经动了淫念。你第二次看她是为着动了淫念，所以这第二次的看是第三步的事。主耶稣所说的，不是指着第一次的看见，乃是指着第三步的看。妇女在路上，这是大家都看见的。但是有的人没有受约束，会动淫念，撒但会注射淫念给他，他第二次回头去看，这是罪。已经有了淫念，第二次去看，这就是罪。
　　马太五章说，凡看妇女为着已经动了淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。主耶稣不是说第一次的看见。我们把第一次的看见摆进去就不对。我在路上偶然看见一个妇女，撒但把淫念射进来，我拒绝，就了了。我如果回头向她看一看，就是罪了。请你们记得，性的感觉不是罪，意志的赞成才是罪。因为这意志的赞成是在婚姻之外。你在意志上已经破坏了那一个合一。你在行为上破坏那一个合一，是罪；你在意志上破坏那一个合一，在神面前也是罪。
　　在旧约里，只说奸淫是罪。在旧约里，没有淫乱的罪。在旧约里，只不许人奸淫，因为人对于自己的认识不够。什么叫作奸淫呢？有配偶的人犯罪就是奸淫。什么是淫乱呢？没有配偶的人犯罪就是淫乱。行为是一样的，罪却不一样。可以说，妓女只会犯淫乱，不会犯奸淫，因为没有配偶。你在神面前要注意，神不要人淫乱。在旧约里只说到有配偶的人犯罪，没有说到没有配偶的与人犯罪。在旧约里不是没有这一个行为，只是这一个名词还没有出来。不只破坏合一的是罪，就是不破坏合一的也是罪。
　　我们必须认识，奸淫是罪，淫乱也是罪。破坏有配偶的合一是罪；没有配偶的，没有破坏合一的淫乱也是罪。基督徒不应该奸淫，也不应该淫乱。我们要看见，性是圣洁的，性的感觉没有罪。性的行为是圣洁的，在婚姻里面没有罪。如果你已经有婚姻的关系，而在婚姻之外有性的行为，这是奸淫。如果你没有婚姻的关系，而有性的行为，这是淫乱。我们作信徒的人，在神面前要没有奸淫，也没有淫乱。
　　一个基督徒要作得好，必须把所有基本的问题，都好好的对付过。如果有一个基本的问题，不管是在家庭里，或是在职业里，没有对付好，下面就有许多的问题出来。只要有一个难处，就够叫基督徒受到耽搁，不能在神面前走正直的路。
　　今天要说到婚姻的问题。初信的弟兄应该知道，主的话对于他们的婚姻到底怎么说。我们要从各方面来看这一个问题。
　
　　关于婚姻的问题，第一个要解决的，就是性的感觉的问题。我想我们必须清楚，人有性的感觉，像人有饥饿的感觉一样。饥饿的感觉如果是身体天然的要求，性的感觉也同样是身体天然的要求。一个人有饥饿的感觉，乃是自然的，并不是罪。一个人想去偷着吃，那是罪，那不是自然的。照样，人有性的感觉也是自然的，并不是罪。乃是人用不正当地方法来满足自己的要求，那就要落到罪里去。
　　我们要看见，人的婚姻乃是神所定规的，乃是神所开始的。所以性的感觉是神给人的。婚姻的规定，不是在犯罪之后的事，乃是在犯罪之前的事。婚姻的规定，不是在创世记三章之后的事，乃是在创世记三章之前的事。在创世记二章里，神就规定了。所以，性的感觉的产生，乃是在罪还没有进入世界之前就有的，不是在罪进入世界之后才有的。因此，人有性的感觉，绝不是罪。在这一个感觉的里面，没有罪的成分。并且，这一个感觉乃是神自己所创造的。
　　这一点，初信的弟兄们必须弄清楚。我在这三十年相信主和事奉主的过程中，曾接触过许多青年弟兄姊妹。我遇到许多的人，在婚姻问题上受到搅扰。他们因为不知道神的定规，不清楚神的话，就无谓的受到良心的控告。他们有这一个感觉，就以为是有罪。他们有这一个要求，就以为是有罪。有的弟兄弄到严重的地步，甚至疑惑神的工作，只因为他有性的感觉。要知道，以性为罪的思想，是异教的思想。我们对于神的话要看得准。人觉得肚子饿不是罪，照样，人有性的需要也不是罪，这是天然的感觉。
　　希伯来十三章告诉我们说，“婚姻，人人都当尊重。”（4）婚姻不仅是该尊重的，并且是圣洁的。所以我们要看见，神不只认为性是天然的，神也认为性是圣洁的。
　　有一位梅尔博士，是和慕迪同工的，他写了许多书都是最好的。他特别注重造就。他曾说，“只有全世界最污秽的头脑，才以为性是污秽的。”我想，这一句话是最好的。乃是因为人自己污秽的缘故，所以把污秽的思想带到性里面去。人如果是清洁的，就凡事在他身上都是清洁的。人如果是污秽的，就凡事在他身上都是污秽的。因为他的头脑是污秽的，所以什么事情到他身上，他都往污秽里去思想。现在我们要看见，婚姻乃是清洁的。在神所规定的性的关系，乃是圣洁的、清洁的，而不是污秽的。
　　保罗在提前四1、3说到，在末后的时候，要有鬼魔的道理出来。在这些鬼魔的道理当中，有一部分是禁止嫁娶。在这里你们要看见说，鬼魔的道理，也是为着寻求圣洁。彭伯所写的书，曾清楚地指明说，将来有人因追求圣洁，所以禁止嫁娶，以为没有嫁娶就能作一个圣洁的人。但是保罗在提摩太前书里说，禁止嫁娶乃是鬼魔的道理。所以，你们要知道，神没有禁止嫁娶。
　　人不应该因着有异教看法的缘故，良心受无谓的控告。性的感觉，是天然的，不是罪。乃是注意到如何对付这一个感觉的时候，才会发生问题说，到底会不会变作罪。不是没有感觉的存在的问题。有感觉的存在，乃是自然的，不是罪。要看怎样对付这一个感觉，才能说，有没有罪。这一件事要彻底的解决，不然良心有了控告，就不能长进。那些罪不是事实上的罪，乃是因着不明白而产生的。
　
　
　　婚姻，乃是神所定规的。在创世记里你就看见，神说一个人独居不好。当神作创造的工的时候，神对所造的一切东西，样样都说好。除了第二天之外，天天祂都说，祂所造的是好的。第二天，因为空中是撒但的地方，神没有说好，其余每一天神所作的都是好的。但是到了第六天，神造人才造一个的时候，神不只没有说好，反而说不好。神说，“那人独居不好。”不是说人造的不好，乃是说人只造了一个，只造了一半，所以说不好。
　　神替亚当造一个配偶，也是在第六天造的。神把夏娃造出来，就带到亚当面前。所以夏娃的产生，乃是为着婚姻。
　　“配偶”这个辞的意思：要把她配上去，才能叫他得着帮助。这个字在希伯来文的意思就是能配他，给他帮助。
　　有许多读圣经的人，常常注意这一句话。当神造人的时候，神在那里需要有男人加上女人。但是圣经说，神造人。所以神造人，乃是造男人也造女人，那才成功作一个人。好像说，神起头的时候，先造一半的人，然后看看人是一半，所以再造一个。两个半个合起来，才成功作一个。两个半个合起来，才是完全的。所以，等夏娃造好之后，才说祂的工作是好的。这给我们看见说，婚姻不是人起头的，乃是神起头的。婚姻的起点，不是在人犯罪之后，乃是远在人犯罪之前。人不是第一天受造就犯罪，人是第一天受造就结婚。神把夏娃造好之后，第一天就带给亚当。这不是犯罪之后的事。婚姻的事，乃是神发起的。
　　在创世记二章神的创造里，有婚姻。到了约翰二章，也就是主耶稣刚出来传道的时候，在迦拿也有婚姻，主耶稣把酒加进去。这就给我们看见，主不只许可这件事，并且称许这件事，嘉许这件事。你在那里看见说，主耶稣不只在人结婚时出席，主并且帮助他作得更好。所以，婚姻这一件事，是神所发起的，也是主耶稣所特别嘉许的。所以这一件事是完全出于神的。
　　在这里，你们就看见婚姻在神面前的地位。神的目的乃是要有一个丈夫，有一个妻子，是能够彼此帮助的，所以称他的妻子作配偶。“配偶，”希伯来文的意思是说，要配他，来帮助他。可以说是“配助。”你们在这里看见说，神要人有一个共同的生活，要彼此有交通，彼此有帮助。这是神的目的。
　
　　在旧约，罪还没有进来的时候，神已经设立了婚姻。到了新约的时候，保罗在林前七章，就给我们看见说，因为有罪进来的缘故，不只不禁止婚姻，反而变作更需要婚姻。
　　婚姻能防止罪。所以保罗就告诉我们说，为了要免去奸淫的罪的缘故，男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫（2）。在林前七章里面，保罗并没有定性的感觉为有罪，他反而给我们看见，男女都应该结婚，才能防止罪。
　　你们记得，保罗说，不要为肉体安排（罗十三14）。比方有一个人，会犯骄傲的罪。保罗不能对他说，“你这一个人骄傲，常常犯罪；因怕你到处骄傲不对，就让你在家里骄傲吧！如果有地方骄傲，就不骄傲了。”如果这样作，这就叫作为肉体安排。你要骄傲，我安排一下，叫你不至于骄傲。神从来不这样作。再比方一个欢喜偷东西，你不能说，“你这个人这样欢喜偷，太不好了，我现在许可你偷某某弟兄的东西，就免得你偷别地方的东西。”不。你乃是说，“我不给你偷，任何地方都不可以偷。”偷东西绝对是罪，是不能安排的。骄傲绝对是罪，是不能安排的。但性不是绝对的罪，所以男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫。不然的话，保罗这一句话就是为肉体安排。我们知道，使徒不为肉体安排，所以这不是罪。婚姻不是神为肉体安排。我们要在这里把婚姻摆在最高的地位上，看见婚姻是圣洁的，是神自己所设立的。
　　因为罪进来，婚姻能防止罪的产生，所以要有婚姻。这不是为肉体安排，这里面有相当清楚地分别。
　　保罗在林前七章说到婚姻的问题，在起头的时候就说，男人不能主张自己的身体，女人也不能主张自己的身体（4）。保罗在这里的教训是够清楚地，夫妻除非为了事奉主的缘故，否则就不应该分开，免得有奸淫（5）。神为着防止奸淫的缘故，就定规说，男女应该结婚，并且应该不分开。
　　保罗在这里用相当重的字眼，提起说，有的人是感觉过强的人。性的感觉过于强烈，为免欲火攻心，保罗说，应该结婚（9）。保罗没有责备这样的人。保罗没有说，“你有强的感觉是错的，你有强的感觉是罪，所以要为肉体安排。”保罗说，“你有强的感觉，你要结婚。与其有强的感觉，倒不如结婚好。”所以，神的话对于这件事非常清楚。性的感觉不是罪。就是性的感觉相当强的人也不是罪。并且神规定，性的感觉强的人应该结婚。不要一面又不结婚，一面又落到罪里面去。这就是主给我们看见的。
　　这样，婚姻的设立，就变作有旧约和新约两个不同的方面。在旧约里，乃是给我们看见说，有一个配偶，给我们帮助。在新约里乃是说，能够防止犯罪。所以今天在基督徒的婚姻中，一面是注意彼此的帮助，一面是为着防止犯罪。
　
　　第三，彼得在他的前书三7说，妻子乃是“一同承受恩典的器皿。”换句话说，神喜欢夫妻一同来事奉祂。神欢喜有亚居拉、百基拉来事奉祂，欢喜有彼得和他的妻子，犹大和他的妻子，一同来事奉祂。
　　所以，在基督徒的婚姻里，有三个基本的性质。一个是彼此帮助，一个是防止犯罪，一个是两个人在神面前一同受恩。不只是一个人作基督徒，乃是两个人作基督徒。不只是一个人受恩，乃是两个人共同受恩。
　
　　另一面，圣经也给我们看见说，有的人虽然有性的感觉，可是他这个感觉不强，没有需要来满足这个要求。圣经就劝这样的人守童身。
　
　　不是说，童身比结婚更圣洁（指着属灵方面的）。但是，守童身的人，的确能够将身体的力量，完全用在主的工作上。这一个，也是在林前七章里提到的。
　　保罗给我们看见说，结婚的人有三个难处。第一，结婚是一个缠累。他说，“有妻子缠着。”（27）许多时候，人一结婚就不得自由，人一结婚就有许多事情要作。因为有妻子缠着，所以就不得不作。第二，结婚的人有苦难。他说，“肉身必受苦难。”（28）人一有婚姻，自然而然肉身的苦难就必加增，叫他不能专心事奉主。第三，结婚的人是为着世上的事挂虑（32~34）。这一个为着世上的事的挂虑，主耶稣在马太十三章说，很容易把麦子挤在荆棘里面，不能够结果子（22）。总而言之，结婚在家庭的事情上有它的难处：有缠累，有苦难，有挂虑。
　　保罗的这些话，不只是对作工的人说的，也是对所有的弟兄姊妹说的。人如果守童身，能够省去许多难处。保罗没有命令叫他们守童身，但是读保罗的话，保罗的倾向是要人守童身。保罗在那里没有什么自己的主张，只是将事实告诉弟兄们，你们如果结婚是好，因为能够免去犯罪的危险；可是结婚要叫你们多有缠累，多有苦难，同时多有世上的挂虑。
　
　　保罗在下面就给我们看见说，什么样的人可以守童身。他说，有的人，有神的恩赐的人，就可以守童身。守童身乃是神的一个恩赐。这个人接受神的恩赐是这样，那个人接受神的恩赐是那样。若是我需要结婚，连结婚也是神的恩赐，没有恩赐就结婚不来。所以保罗说，“各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。”（林前七7）守童身的人，有神的恩赐；结婚的人，也有神的恩赐。
　　一个守童身的人，第一个条件，就是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。你们知道，在有的人身上，性的力量是强迫他；在有的人身上，是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。凡是没有性的强迫的人，就可以守童身。
　　第二，自己有意思守，而且是坚定的。36~37节说，“若有人以为自己待他的童贞不合宜，也过了年岁，事又当行，他就可随意办理，不算有罪，成亲就是了。倘若人心里坚定，没有不得已的事，并且由得自己作主，心里又决定留下童贞，如此行也好。”（原文）保罗给我们看见说，守童身乃是人自己有这意思，人自己要。不只是我这一个人没有性的强迫，并且是我自己要守童身，我自己有意思守童身。若有人以为说，我这样待我的童身不对，他就可以结婚，若有人有意思守童身，有倾向守童身，并且是坚定的要在这里守，这一个人就可以守。所以心里的坚定是需要的。
　　第三，必须没有环境上的难处。37节提起说，“没有不得已的事。”有的人在环境上有难处，不容易安排。有的人如果要守童身，也许家庭里有许多难处。所以必须在环境上有安排，才能守童身。
　　保罗在这里给我们看见守童身的三个基本条件：（一）感觉不强迫。（二）心里坚定的要这样作。（三）没有环境上的难处。这三个条件都具备了，就能够守童身。
　
　　守童身的人，的的确确是能够在神面前多得着的人。我想，马太十九章是够清楚地给我们看见，守童身的人的的确确更容易进天国。我们必须承认，马太十九章里“为天国的缘故自阉的人，”（12）相当明显是说到守童身与天国发生关系。我们不敢说，守童身与天国发生什么关系，但是我们能说，守童身的的确确对于进天国有上算的地方。所以，主才在这里告诉我们说，有的人为着进天国的缘故自阉，要守童身。
　　不只如此，到了启示录十四章，你看见那些初熟的果子（－启示录十四万四千人），都是守童身的；羔羊无论往哪里去，他们都跟着。（3~4）这十四万四千人是特别早被提的人。所以我们看见，守童身的的确确与被提发生关系。将来我们要知道，守童身的人的的确确在进天国和被提的事上上算。至于今天呢？保罗说，守童身的的确确能够减少苦难，能够好好的事奉神。
　　这一件事，我们只能摆在弟兄姊妹面前。因为人必须没有性的强迫才能作。必须自己能够定规才能作，也必须在环境上有这一个安排，没有什么特别的需要才能作。我们就是按着圣经的教训，很客观的摆在弟兄姊妹面前，让各人在神的面前有挑选。
　
　　在婚姻的事情上，神曾安排下条件，就是与谁能结婚，与谁不能结婚。神在圣经里给我们看得够清楚，神的子民的婚姻，只应当限于神的子民之中。换句话说，如果有婚姻的事，是应该以神的子民为对象，不应该在神的子民之外来结婚。
　
　　在旧约里，就有够多的命令，给我们看见说，我们不应该在神的子民之外与别的人结婚。
　　申七3~4告诉我们，不可与以色列人之外的迦南人结婚。不可将女儿嫁给他们的儿子，也不可叫儿子娶他们的女儿。因为他们必使我们转离不跟从主，去事奉别神。所以，神在旧约里已经够清楚地给我们看见，婚姻的对象乃是在主里的人。不能在信主的人之外找妻子，不能在信主的人之外找丈夫。不然的话，最大的难处，就是要叫我们离弃耶和华，去事奉别神。妻子跟着丈夫去拜偶像，是容易的事。丈夫跟着妻子去拜偶像，也是容易的事。因为既然结婚，就很容易去拜他们的神。
　　书二三12~13，也警戒以色人，不要与当地的人结婚。他们要成为一个网罗，要成为你的刺，在你身上。你要看见，你的妻子是你的刺，你的丈夫是你的刺，结果你们要落到网罗里去。
　　在尼希米的时候，以色列人从被掳之地回到犹太地后，有许多人因为娶外邦女子为妻，结果落到一个地步，他们不能讲犹太的话。所以，在尼希米十三章23~27节，要他们与外邦女子完全断绝，不要与外邦女子有来往。在这里你们要看见，与外邦的女子结婚，有一个难处，就是你所生的儿女，迟早要跟他们走，不能和你一同事奉神。你们如果娶外邦人，或是嫁给外邦人，你们的儿女很容易跟着他们走，落到世界里去，这是相当难的事。
　　玛拉基章二十一节给我们看见，以色列人有许多诡诈的罪，他们亵渎神的圣洁，因他们娶外邦人为妻。以神的眼光来看，娶外邦女子，就是亵渎神的圣洁。所以，基督徒的婚姻乃是有对象的，基督徒婚姻的对象只应该是在信徒中间。
　　我们从所罗门的事也可以得到一个鉴戒。所罗门是最有智慧的王，但因为娶外邦的女子，就也拜偶像，陷入拜偶像的地步。
　
　　在新约里，保罗对我们说的话够清楚。林前七39，他对寡妇说，要嫁给在主里的人。
　　林后六14，这是一段顶有名的圣经，给我们看见，信的和不信的不能同负一轭。这句话不只是指着婚姻说的，但是也包括婚姻在内。信的和不信的不要作同样的事，不要为着同一个目的，就像把一个轭摆在两个人的背上来犁田，这是神不许可的。神不许可一个信的和一个不信的在那里负一个轭。在旧约里面，一只牛不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。一匹驴也不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。不能一个快，一个慢。不能一个往这一边走，一个往那一边走。不能一个往天上去，一个往世界去。不能一个要得着属灵的祝福，一个要得着世界的丰富。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边，这一个轭非折断不可。
　　在信的和不信的不能同负一轭的事情上，没有一件事比婚姻更厉害。从合股作生意起，或者加入什么事起，一直到婚姻为止，最厉害的轭是婚姻。信的人和不信的人一同在那里负起家庭的责任，结果定规是相当的难。所以，最理想的结婚对象必须是弟兄，是姊妹。千万不要随意去找不信的人。你如果随意去找外面不信的人，将来定规相当困难。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边。一个往天上去，一个往世界去。一个寻求天上的恩赐，一个寻求世界的丰富。其间不知道差多少倍。所以圣经的命令，要嫁娶在主里面的人。
　
　　在这里发生一个问题，假定有一个弟兄已经结婚了，他的妻子是不信的；或者有一个姊妹，她的丈夫是不信的，那该怎么作？刚才是说，人如果没有结婚，人如果要寻找对象，就应该寻找主里面的弟兄，主里面的姊妹。但是，有的人已经结婚了，已经有一个不信的妻子，或者有一个不信的丈夫，该怎么办？
　
　　这一件事，在林前七章里有记载。七12节、13节、15节，答复这一个问题说，如果夫妻中有一个信了主，在家庭里面发生了难处，要怎么办。请你们记得，今天因为许多人信主信得不彻底，所以家庭里的难处不多。主耶稣在福音书里，预料家庭的难处是多的。信主的人如果信得彻底，家庭里就要发生事情。路加福音里所说的三个和两个相争，两个和三个相争，都是因着信主而发生的。所以，今天如果有一个丈夫，因着妻子信主的缘故，他走开；他说，你信了主，我不要你。这时，这位妻子该怎么办？主在林前七章这里的话是够清楚地，就是让他走。所以，如果有丈夫因着妻子信主的缘故要走开，如果有妻子因着丈夫信主的缘故要走开，就让他离开吧。
　　可是，这一件事必须弄清楚，就是说，主动的不是我们，乃是他。不是我说要走开，乃是他说要走开。是他在那里不满意，以为你相信了主，没有前途，所以他要走。如果他要走，就让他走。
　
　　如果他无所谓，保罗说，那就不必离开。因为你怎么知道主不会因着你拯救他？他如果无所谓，他如果要住下去，保罗说，我们就应该和人和睦，我们不应该离开。他说，不信的人能够因为着信的人成圣。同时他说，你怎么知道不能拯救他呢？如果他要离开，那是他的事，不是你的事。如果他不离开，我们相信主会救他，并且保罗说，救他是相当容易的事。主救旁的人不容易，但这个人是你的人，主救他特别容易。我们要站在这一个地位上，来对付这一件事。
　
　　还有的弟兄姊妹有另外的难处，就是已经和不信的人订了婚，那应该怎么办？
　
　　主不要我们与不信的人结婚，这是相当清楚地。所以，若有人已经与不信的人订了婚，最好不信的未婚夫，或不信的未婚妻，自动的来解约。因为还没有结婚，不过有婚约而已。若是主开路，不信的那一方面因着你信主，而乐意解约，这是相当好的事。
　
　　不过，这一件事，许多时候不可能。因为既然有了婚约，对方不会因为你信了主，就很容易的放手。这个时候要记得说，我与人订婚是与人立了一个约，那一个约就是我在神面前所给人的一个应许。基督徒不能因着自己信了主的缘故随便毁约。因为约在神面前都是圣的。你看见说，你如果能够向他提议分开，这是好的事。他可以提议离开，你也可以提议离开。这一个提议不一定要他主动，这和刚才的不一样。已经结了婚的，是他主动。已经订了婚的，我可以主动说，最好分开。他如果一定要我履行婚约，我就必定要履行。因为一个基督徒，话说出去了，就必须履行，不能破坏。神就是照着话行，所以有救恩。神如果说话不算数，就连救恩都没有了。所以，我们要和对方讲好，如果人不愿意，就非娶她，非嫁他不可。
　　诗篇十五篇里说，“他发了誓，虽然自己吃亏，也不更改。”（4）当以色列人进了迦南地后，基遍人欺骗了他们，用霉的饼，破的衣服，破的鞋子，来说他们是远处的人。约书亚就应许不杀他们。后来找出来他们是近处的人，但因已经立了约，所以神不许杀他们，至多叫他们作砍柴挑水的人。（书九3~27）所以，在圣经里，非常看重守约的事。他自己乐意放弃，我放弃不要紧。如果他不乐意放弃，我就不能放弃。基遍的事是非常厉害的。后来因为扫罗杀了基遍人，天就不下雨。大卫没有办法，就问基遍人怎么办？基遍人要把扫罗的子孙七个人悬挂在树上，大卫只得照办。（撒下二一1~6）所以，神不许可我们马马虎虎的毁约。我们必须学习，立了约就应当按着约行。我们不能作一件不义的事。
　
　　你和人订了婚约，现在你信了主，对方一定要嫁，或者一定要娶，这怎么办？在这里有一件事你可以作，就是和对方先约好。你说，“我定规娶你，或者嫁你；不过有几件事，在没有结婚之前，我要和你讲好。”那几件事呢？第一，你必须让我能事奉主。我不是假冒的到你家里来，我是挂了旗子来的。我今天是基督徒，是嫁你也好，是娶你也好，你必须给我自由事奉主，你不能干涉我的事奉主。第二，如果将来有儿女，必须按着主的教训来养育他们。你信不信是你的事，但是我们的儿女，必须照主的教训来养育。话要说在先。这一件事绝对要提起，预先说好。不预先说好就有难处，预先说好就没有难处。嫁一个不信的人是一个损失，娶一个不信的人也是一个损失。要减少损失，减少难处，我们就得先说好。你要给我自由，儿女要信主。我已经作基督徒，我不往世界去。我已经作基督徒，我是往主那一边去。你如果觉得好就好，你如果觉得不好就解约。我们要把将来的行为摆在他们面前。我想，如果这样作，可以稍微减少一点难处。
　
　　这乃是事实上的难处，而不是理想上的难处，我们只能说，在这件事上，在圣经里没有教训。不过，我们要摸保罗的感觉。保罗在林前七章里盼望说，如果可能，寡妇不出嫁。但是他又说，盼望寡妇嫁给在主里的人（39）。所以，当有需要的时候，寡妇可以出嫁。我们根据这一个原则，就能看见说，一个弟兄最好是娶在主里面的姊妹。如果没有那一个可能，他能够不娶是最好，他如果需要娶的话，我们还是愿意他娶。就是不信的，我们还是愿意他娶。
　　我们提起这一件事，并不是像世人所说，两害之中取其轻的。我们乃是说，宁可犯神行政上的罪，而不犯道德上的罪。我如果不结婚会犯罪，那是犯道德上的罪。我如果娶不信的女子，我是犯神行政上的罪。罪有两种，一种是道德上的罪，一种是神行政上的罪。请你们记得，道德上的罪比行政上的罪重。我宁可犯神行政上的罪，不可犯道德上的罪。今天一个弟兄有结婚的需要，找不到姊妹，他如果能够不娶更好，如果不能不娶，他就是娶不信的人，也只能让他娶。
　　如果你娶不信的人，你的眼睛必须开起来，必须知道难处非常大。一个人信主之后，如果娶一个不信的人，难处特别大。这比一对不信的夫妻，后来有一个相信了，所遭受的难处要大得多。后来信主的丈夫或妻子，他在家庭里面会遇到难处，但许多时候主要把他带过去。一个人已经相信了主，再去娶不信的人，许多时候，的确有许多难为。我们要告诉他，他的眼睛必须开着，知道在前面有难处。
　　一个人如果娶一个不信的人，还要告诉他，必须防备给对方带走。请记得，你娶不信的人，稍微不小心，很容易就给她带走。已经结了婚的，或者已经订了婚的，固然也要小心，但是这一个要特别小心。换句话说，要特别的保护、保守，特别的祷告，不要给她掳去。
　　你若不得已和不信的人结婚，也必须先把条件讲清楚。你要告诉这不信的人说，我已经信了，你信不信我不勉强你，可是你不能干涉我信仰的事，你要给我完全的自由。还有儿女的问题，也必须提起。关于儿女信仰的事，你必须给我自由带他信主。我要我的儿女相信主，我不要他们拜偶像，或者效法世人的样子。你把这些话说得差不多的时候，也许这一个问题可以勉强过去。
　　我要对年长一点的弟兄姊妹说几句话，当你们看到初信的弟兄姊妹遇见这样的问题时，你们要小心，不要给他们把门开得太大，以致他们随便与不信的人结婚。另一面，不要把门关得太紧，以致他们不犯行政上的罪，而去犯道德上的罪。宁可让他们碰着神的行政，落在神政治的手里，不可让他们犯道德上的罪。
　　关于这一面的事，我有一点意见。各地的青年弟兄姊妹并不少，若是在择配上发生难处，主要是因许多弟兄姊妹对于人的出身，对于人的背景看得太重。如果要一个身分高一点的弟兄，娶一个身分低一点的姊妹，他就不乐意。如果要一个身分高一点的姊妹，嫁给一个身分低一点的弟兄，她就不乐意。今天，弟兄并不缺少，姊妹也不缺少。就是由于这个门第问题，发生了许多难处。我想，如果弟兄姊妹对于职业的看法有点改变，这一个问题就容易解决。如果看种地的弟兄不是低的，姊妹出嫁就容易。如果看种地的姊妹不是低的，弟兄娶也容易。今天我们把神所以为高的职业看为低，把人所以为高的职业看为高，所以就不容易解决。今天在我们中间，不缺少姊妹，不缺少弟兄，所缺少的是门第上的相配。而这一个门第是世界的。所以，要将职业的观念完全转过来，这个问题才能解决。
　
　　在圣经里，没有命令人脱离他自己的妾。在圣经里，没有一个地方，从神的眼光来看，要勉强人叫妾离开。这是指着没有信主之前所娶的。在圣经里，我想也有够多的地方给我们看见，神要人怎样对待他的妾。
　　或者，我先提起人今天的要求，然后来看圣经的要求。人的要求，第一，要把所有的妾遣散。第二，如果不遣散，丈夫不应该和他的妾有性的关系。这是弟兄姊妹普通的思想。但这不是神所给我们看见的，这是异教的思想。
　
　　我们看见，在圣经里没有一个人娶妾比大卫更坏；他不只是娶妾，并且是谋害人命来娶妾。乌利亚的丧命，是因着妻子的缘故。大卫是牺牲乌利亚来得着拔示巴。而所罗门是拔示巴所生的。主耶稣也是拔示巴所生的。这一个事实，直到新约，主还承认。马太一章里面有拔示巴的名字，而且是说乌利亚的妻子。有四个女人在马太一章里面。这一件事情你们必须看见：娶妾的人只能自己伏在神管教的手下，不能把妾赶出去。
　　为什么圣经没有要求把妾赶出去呢？请你们记得，奸淫的罪，与娶妾完全不一样。我今天偷了人一本圣经，我能够还他一本圣经。我今天偷了人一千块钱，我能够还他一千块钱。我今天娶了一个妾，我没有法子还她。
　　有的弟兄以为说，应该把妾赶出去。他是从男人的眼光来看。男人在神面前要知道，娶妾是犯奸淫。但妾嫁给你，并没有嫁两个丈夫。你娶了两个女子，她没有嫁两个丈夫。所以，你们要看见说，主在这里没有叫人把妾赶出去。
　　我想，所罗门母亲的原则是够清楚地。主为着大卫娶拔示巴的缘故，特意差派先知拿单去找大卫。主所有的话，都已经叫拿单说了，所以不要在拿单之外，加上什么话。拿单所漏掉的，不必你在三千年后的今天再来补。拿单对他说，你的儿子要死，报应要来；十个妃嫔，人要在明处与她们犯奸淫；刀剑要在你的家里。（撒下十二7~14）拿单没有说，要把拔示巴打发回去。你把她打发回去，她怎么办？乌利亚死了。有的人没有乌利亚，有的人乌利亚死了，这怎么办？所以，神打发拿单去见大卫，并没有要大卫把拔示巴赶出去。反而到了后来，神叫她生所罗门（24）。在大卫的妻子中，神没有叫一个生所罗门，神却叫大卫的妾拔示巴生所罗门。并且新约第一页说，大卫从乌利亚的妻子生所罗门（太一6下）。新约里，没有说可以娶妾，但是也没有说要赶妾。
　
　　出二一9~11曾经规定，一个主人若选定一个婢女给自己的儿子，就当待她如同女儿。如果将来这个儿子正式娶亲，这一个婢女就变作妾。神在这里规定这一件事非常清楚，就是说，在她的吃食、衣服、并好合的事上不可减少。如果不向她行这三样，她就可以出去，不再是奴仆。所以，人如果以为不能与妾有好合的事，这是根本不遵守神的律法。我盼望你们将这一件事弄清楚。
　
　　在新约里，只有一个地方，讲到妾的问题。我们读圣经，就是喜欢看到一件事只有一个地方提起。如果在圣经里，一件事有两个地方提起，就必须比较。如果有三个以上的地方提起，就要综合起来看，才能知道神的教训。所以，每一个圣经的学者，都喜欢只有一个地方的话，因为只要读这一个地方，就知道神对于这一件事的旨意。在新约里，只有一个地方，就是提摩太前书，提到妾的问题。那里说，作教会长老的人，只应该作一个妇人的丈夫（三2）。所以，凡娶妾的人，在教会里不应该作长老。但是，新约圣经并没有说，他应该把妾赶出去，或者说不应该有好合的事。
　
　　如果一个妾已经得救了，她只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫，愿意和丈夫分开，也是好事。这是自愿，不是主的要求，也不是教会的要求。教会对于这一件事不应该有要求。
　　神所配合的只有两个。这一个原则，无论如何要维持。所以，相当明显，一个人娶了妾，肉身上的苦难就比娶一个妻子的要多，在管治上要大大增加。
　
玖
　
离婚
　　在圣经里，有离婚的规定。但是，在圣经里，离婚只根据一个条件。世界各国的法律，对于离婚有许多规定；有的国家规定了二十几条，我们中国也规定了多少条，说到夫妻若有一方精神丧失，或不同意等等，就能够离婚。但是在圣经里，只有一个条件可以离婚，那唯一的条就是犯奸淫。人精神丧失也好，失踪多年也好，这些都不是条件。乃是与别人有性的行为，这是唯一的条件。主耶稣在马太十九章，路加十六章里清楚给我们看见，人如果犯了奸淫，就可以离婚。
　
　　你们也许要问，为着什么犯奸淫就可以离婚呢？因为神所配合的，人不可分开。换句话说，从神看来，夫妻乃是合一的，任何的离婚都是破坏这一个合一。什么叫作犯奸淫？就是破坏那一个合一。你在你自己的丈夫之外，你在你自己的妻子之外有性的行为，你犯了奸淫，你就是破坏了合一。所以，请你们记得，不管一个失踪了多年也好，精神丧失也好，精神虐待也好，或者其他的理由也好，他的丈夫或妻子若是离开，去和别人结婚，就是破坏合一，犯了奸淫。
　
　　为什么犯奸淫可以离婚呢？因为已经把合一破坏了。你本来和你的丈夫是合一的，你的丈夫一犯奸淫，你就可以自由。本来是合一的，所以你要保守。现在那一个合一他已经失去了，所以你可以自由。所以，犯奸淫是唯一离婚的条件。丈夫犯奸淫，妻子要离开，可以。如果有一个姊妹，她的丈夫犯奸淫，或者娶妾，这一个姊妹可以离婚，教会不能拦阻。她不只可以离婚，还可以改嫁。任何破坏这一个合一的，都是罪。所以只有犯奸淫可以离开，因为犯奸淫已经破坏了那合一。离婚不过是宣布说，我和我丈夫的合一已经没有了。没有合一，她要改嫁就可以。
　　马太十九章，路加十六章，是两个够清楚地地方，我们要好好的注意。离婚是根据奸淫。奸淫把老的合一破坏了，夫妻不再是一个，是两个了，所以可以离婚。为什么可以离婚？因为已经没有合一了。所以，夫妻的离婚，是在－路加一方犯奸淫的时候，不是在办离婚手续的时候。今天所谓的离婚，不过是手续而已。婚姻的存在，是宣告那一个合一的存在；离婚，是宣布那一个合一已经不存在。所以，犯了奸淫可以离婚。没有犯奸淫而离婚，结果双方都是犯奸淫。假定说，丈夫和妻子都没有犯奸淫的事，就是相处不好，也不能离婚。－路加一旦离婚了，就是犯奸淫。那一个合一还在，如果改嫁改娶，都是犯奸淫。只有合一不存在，才可以离婚。
　　所以我们要认识，什么叫作婚姻？婚姻就是合一。两个人不再是两个人，是一体。奸淫就是拆毁合一。离婚是宣布合一的拆毁。今天合一在我们中间已经没有了，所以可以改嫁。合一如果还在，两个人就是吵得顶厉害，不相和，要离婚；世界上的人许可，世界上的法律也许可，但从神的眼光来看，不许可。先离婚反而是犯奸淫。只有先犯奸淫后离婚才是可以的。我们一定要看见说，神所配合的，人不能分开。既然有了配合，千万不要分开，这是不可能的事。
　
　　为着这个缘故，圣经里也就许可，已经死了妻子的人可以再娶，寡妇可以再嫁。婚姻只到死为止。婚姻的关系，复活的时候不存在。复活的时候，人也不娶，也不嫁（太二二30）。娶和嫁是在这一个世界里面的事。天使也不娶，也不嫁。复活的人也不娶，也不嫁。嫁娶是今生的事，不是来生的事。所以，婚姻是到死为止。到了死的时候，你如果为着已往情感的缘故，不娶不嫁也可以。你如果要再娶或再嫁，圣经里许可这件事。
　　我们可以注意罗马七章的教训。那里说，每一个基督徒都是再嫁的人。借着基督的死，借着基督的复活，我们再嫁了。罗马七章给我们看见说，丈夫管人是在活着的时候，丈夫死了，妻子就可以再嫁。凡丈夫没有死而另嫁的，就是淫妇。如果我们在律法上没有死，作安息日会的人，那我们都是淫妇。感谢神，我们只有－罗马一个丈夫。安息日会有两个丈夫。罗马七章的教训说，律法没有死，我们不能属乎基督；如果属乎基督，我们就是淫妇。我们本来是嫁给律法的人，是属乎律法的人。但因着基督，我们已经死了；今天我们拣选基督，不是淫妇。我们都是再嫁给基督的人。我们在律法上已经死了，所以我们不是淫妇。所以，罗马七章说，丈夫管妻子是到死为止。丈夫一死，妻子就有自由。在教会里，绝不应该有一个观念，以为寡妇再嫁是错的。这一种的思想，是外邦人的思想。
　　如果寡妇像守童身的人一样，不再嫁人，这是好的。保罗说，我盼望寡妇和没有嫁娶的人，能像我一样。如果是为着事奉主，也像守童身那样独身是对的。如果是因着社会上人的批评，社会上人的看法而不结婚，这是错的。我盼望在教会里能除去这一个看法。
　　保罗对提摩太说，我盼望年轻的寡妇出嫁，这就像一个弟兄再娶一样。今天的问题，是你有没有那一个需要。有的在生理上有那一个需要。有的人觉得孤单，这是心理的需要。有的人家庭环境有需要。如果有的弟兄死了妻子，结婚是对的。如果有的姊妹死了丈夫，结婚也是对的。基督徒不可在这件事上有批评。我们要把异教的思想拿走。
　
拾壹
　
罪的问题
　　神在圣经里承认说，性是对的，性的感觉是对的，性的行为也是对的。性的感觉不只不是罪，并且是圣洁的。但这只限定于婚姻里面。在婚姻里面，这是对的，并且是圣洁的。任何性的感觉，或者行为，在合一之外的都是罪。你们看见么，什么叫作罪？就是说，在婚姻之外的叫作罪。为什么缘故？因为在婚姻之外，你就破坏了那个合一。所以，罪的存在乃是由于破坏合一，罪的存在不是由于性本身。性本身没有罪，这一件事，我们必在神面前看清楚。
　　比方说，主耶稣在马太五章里说，“你们听见有话说，‘不可奸淫。’只是我告诉你们，凡看见妇女就动淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。”（28）这里的“看见”原文乃是“看，”没有“见”的意思。“看”是有意志的作用在里面。是看妇女，不是见妇女。见是被动的，看是主动的。下面还有一个字“动淫念，”有的英文本翻作To Iust after her 。不是说，见妇女就产生淫念；乃是说，为着动了淫念所以去看。是动淫念在先，不是看在先。我们中文圣经是说，“凡看见妇女就动淫念的。”但主不是这样说。主是说，“凡看妇女，为着动了淫念的。”这一个看是第二次的看，不是第一次的看。第一次是你在路上看见妇女，第二次是你看她。在你第一次的看和第二次的看之间，你已经动了淫念。你第二次看她是为着动了淫念，所以这第二次的看是第三步的事。主耶稣所说的，不是指着第一次的看见，乃是指着第三步的看。妇女在路上，这是大家都看见的。但是有的人没有受约束，会动淫念，撒但会注射淫念给他，他第二次回头去看，这是罪。已经有了淫念，第二次去看，这就是罪。
　　马太五章说，凡看妇女为着已经动了淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。主耶稣不是说第一次的看见。我们把第一次的看见摆进去就不对。我在路上偶然看见一个妇女，撒但把淫念射进来，我拒绝，就了了。我如果回头向她看一看，就是罪了。请你们记得，性的感觉不是罪，意志的赞成才是罪。因为这意志的赞成是在婚姻之外。你在意志上已经破坏了那一个合一。你在行为上破坏那一个合一，是罪；你在意志上破坏那一个合一，在神面前也是罪。
　　在旧约里，只说奸淫是罪。在旧约里，没有淫乱的罪。在旧约里，只不许人奸淫，因为人对于自己的认识不够。什么叫作奸淫呢？有配偶的人犯罪就是奸淫。什么是淫乱呢？没有配偶的人犯罪就是淫乱。行为是一样的，罪却不一样。可以说，妓女只会犯淫乱，不会犯奸淫，因为没有配偶。你在神面前要注意，神不要人淫乱。在旧约里只说到有配偶的人犯罪，没有说到没有配偶的与人犯罪。在旧约里不是没有这一个行为，只是这一个名词还没有出来。不只破坏合一的是罪，就是不破坏合一的也是罪。
　　我们必须认识，奸淫是罪，淫乱也是罪。破坏有配偶的合一是罪；没有配偶的，没有破坏合一的淫乱也是罪。基督徒不应该奸淫，也不应该淫乱。我们要看见，性是圣洁的，性的感觉没有罪。性的行为是圣洁的，在婚姻里面没有罪。如果你已经有婚姻的关系，而在婚姻之外有性的行为，这是奸淫。如果你没有婚姻的关系，而有性的行为，这是淫乱。我们作信徒的人，在神面前要没有奸淫，也没有淫乱。
　　一个基督徒要作得好，必须把所有基本的问题，都好好的对付过。如果有一个基本的问题，不管是在家庭里，或是在职业里，没有对付好，下面就有许多的问题出来。只要有一个难处，就够叫基督徒受到耽搁，不能在神面前走正直的路。　　今天要说到婚姻的问题。初信的弟兄应该知道，主的话对于他们的婚姻到底怎么说。我们要从各方面来看这一个问题。
　
　　关于婚姻的问题，第一个要解决的，就是性的感觉的问题。我想我们必须清楚，人有性的感觉，像人有饥饿的感觉一样。饥饿的感觉如果是身体天然的要求，性的感觉也同样是身体天然的要求。一个人有饥饿的感觉，乃是自然的，并不是罪。一个人想去偷着吃，那是罪，那不是自然的。照样，人有性的感觉也是自然的，并不是罪。乃是人用不正当地方法来满足自己的要求，那就要落到罪里去。　　我们要看见，人的婚姻乃是神所定规的，乃是神所开始的。所以性的感觉是神给人的。婚姻的规定，不是在犯罪之后的事，乃是在犯罪之前的事。婚姻的规定，不是在创世记三章之后的事，乃是在创世记三章之前的事。在创世记二章里，神就规定了。所以，性的感觉的产生，乃是在罪还没有进入世界之前就有的，不是在罪进入世界之后才有的。因此，人有性的感觉，绝不是罪。在这一个感觉的里面，没有罪的成分。并且，这一个感觉乃是神自己所创造的。
--------本段经节汇集--------
创世记三章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
创世记三章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
创世记二章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　这一点，初信的弟兄们必须弄清楚。我在这三十年相信主和事奉主的过程中，曾接触过许多青年弟兄姊妹。我遇到许多的人，在婚姻问题上受到搅扰。他们因为不知道神的定规，不清楚神的话，就无谓的受到良心的控告。他们有这一个感觉，就以为是有罪。他们有这一个要求，就以为是有罪。有的弟兄弄到严重的地步，甚至疑惑神的工作，只因为他有性的感觉。要知道，以性为罪的思想，是异教的思想。我们对于神的话要看得准。人觉得肚子饿不是罪，照样，人有性的需要也不是罪，这是天然的感觉。　　希伯来十三章告诉我们说，“婚姻，人人都当尊重。”（4）婚姻不仅是该尊重的，并且是圣洁的。所以我们要看见，神不只认为性是天然的，神也认为性是圣洁的。
--------本段经节汇集--------
希伯来书十三章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
来13:4  
婚姻当在众人中间受尊重，床也不可污秽，因为淫乱和奸淫的人，神必审判。
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　　有一位梅尔博士，是和慕迪同工的，他写了许多书都是最好的。他特别注重造就。他曾说，“只有全世界最污秽的头脑，才以为性是污秽的。”我想，这一句话是最好的。乃是因为人自己污秽的缘故，所以把污秽的思想带到性里面去。人如果是清洁的，就凡事在他身上都是清洁的。人如果是污秽的，就凡事在他身上都是污秽的。因为他的头脑是污秽的，所以什么事情到他身上，他都往污秽里去思想。现在我们要看见，婚姻乃是清洁的。在神所规定的性的关系，乃是圣洁的、清洁的，而不是污秽的。　　保罗在提前四章一节、三节说到，在末后的时候，要有鬼魔的道理出来。在这些鬼魔的道理当中，有一部分是禁止嫁娶。在这里你们要看见说，鬼魔的道理，也是为着寻求圣洁。彭伯所写的书，曾清楚地指明说，将来有人因追求圣洁，所以禁止嫁娶，以为没有嫁娶就能作一个圣洁的人。但是保罗在提摩太前书里说，禁止嫁娶乃是鬼魔的道理。所以，你们要知道，神没有禁止嫁娶。
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提前4:1  
但那灵明说，在后来的时期，必有人离弃信仰，去注意迷惑人的灵和鬼的教训；
提前4:3  
他们禁止嫁娶，禁戒食物，就是神所造，给那些信的人，并认识真理的人，感谢着享受的。
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　　人不应该因着有异教看法的缘故，良心受无谓的控告。性的感觉，是天然的，不是罪。乃是注意到如何对付这一个感觉的时候，才会发生问题说，到底会不会变作罪。不是没有感觉的存在的问题。有感觉的存在，乃是自然的，不是罪。要看怎样对付这一个感觉，才能说，有没有罪。这一件事要彻底的解决，不然良心有了控告，就不能长进。那些罪不是事实上的罪，乃是因着不明白而产生的。
　
　
　　婚姻，乃是神所定规的。在创世记里你就看见，神说一个人独居不好。当神作创造的工的时候，神对所造的一切东西，样样都说好。除了第二天之外，天天祂都说，祂所造的是好的。第二天，因为空中是撒但的地方，神没有说好，其余每一天神所作的都是好的。但是到了第六天，神造人才造一个的时候，神不只没有说好，反而说不好。神说，“那人独居不好。”不是说人造的不好，乃是说人只造了一个，只造了一半，所以说不好。　　神替亚当造一个配偶，也是在第六天造的。神把夏娃造出来，就带到亚当面前。所以夏娃的产生，乃是为着婚姻。　　“配偶”这个辞的意思：要把她配上去，才能叫他得着帮助。这个字在希伯来文的意思就是能配他，给他帮助。　　有许多读圣经的人，常常注意这一句话。当神造人的时候，神在那里需要有男人加上女人。但是圣经说，神造人。所以神造人，乃是造男人也造女人，那才成功作一个人。好像说，神起头的时候，先造一半的人，然后看看人是一半，所以再造一个。两个半个合起来，才成功作一个。两个半个合起来，才是完全的。所以，等夏娃造好之后，才说祂的工作是好的。这给我们看见说，婚姻不是人起头的，乃是神起头的。婚姻的起点，不是在人犯罪之后，乃是远在人犯罪之前。人不是第一天受造就犯罪，人是第一天受造就结婚。神把夏娃造好之后，第一天就带给亚当。这不是犯罪之后的事。婚姻的事，乃是神发起的。　　在创世记二章神的创造里，有婚姻。到了约翰二章，也就是主耶稣刚出来传道的时候，在迦拿也有婚姻，主耶稣把酒加进去。这就给我们看见，主不只许可这件事，并且称许这件事，嘉许这件事。你在那里看见说，主耶稣不只在人结婚时出席，主并且帮助他作得更好。所以，婚姻这一件事，是神所发起的，也是主耶稣所特别嘉许的。所以这一件事是完全出于神的。
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创世记二章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
约翰福音二章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　在这里，你们就看见婚姻在神面前的地位。神的目的乃是要有一个丈夫，有一个妻子，是能够彼此帮助的，所以称他的妻子作配偶。“配偶，”希伯来文的意思是说，要配他，来帮助他。可以说是“配助。”你们在这里看见说，神要人有一个共同的生活，要彼此有交通，彼此有帮助。这是神的目的。
　
　　在旧约，罪还没有进来的时候，神已经设立了婚姻。到了新约的时候，保罗在林前七章，就给我们看见说，因为有罪进来的缘故，不只不禁止婚姻，反而变作更需要婚姻。
--------本段经节汇集--------
哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　婚姻能防止罪。所以保罗就告诉我们说，为了要免去奸淫的罪的缘故，男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫（2）。在林前七章里面，保罗并没有定性的感觉为有罪，他反而给我们看见，男女都应该结婚，才能防止罪。
--------本段经节汇集--------
哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　你们记得，保罗说，不要为肉体安排（罗十三14）。比方有一个人，会犯骄傲的罪。保罗不能对他说，“你这一个人骄傲，常常犯罪；因怕你到处骄傲不对，就让你在家里骄傲吧！如果有地方骄傲，就不骄傲了。”如果这样作，这就叫作为肉体安排。你要骄傲，我安排一下，叫你不至于骄傲。神从来不这样作。再比方一个欢喜偷东西，你不能说，“你这个人这样欢喜偷，太不好了，我现在许可你偷某某弟兄的东西，就免得你偷别地方的东西。”不。你乃是说，“我不给你偷，任何地方都不可以偷。”偷东西绝对是罪，是不能安排的。骄傲绝对是罪，是不能安排的。但性不是绝对的罪，所以男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫。不然的话，保罗这一句话就是为肉体安排。我们知道，使徒不为肉体安排，所以这不是罪。婚姻不是神为肉体安排。我们要在这里把婚姻摆在最高的地位上，看见婚姻是圣洁的，是神自己所设立的。
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罗13:14  
总要穿上主耶稣基督，不要为肉体打算，去放纵私欲。
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　　因为罪进来，婚姻能防止罪的产生，所以要有婚姻。这不是为肉体安排，这里面有相当清楚地分别。　　保罗在林前七章说到婚姻的问题，在起头的时候就说，男人不能主张自己的身体，女人也不能主张自己的身体（4）。保罗在这里的教训是够清楚地，夫妻除非为了事奉主的缘故，否则就不应该分开，免得有奸淫（5）。神为着防止奸淫的缘故，就定规说，男女应该结婚，并且应该不分开。
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哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
林前7:4  
妻子对自己的身体没有主权，丈夫才有；照样，丈夫对自己的身体也没有主权，妻子才有。
林前7:5  
你们不可彼此亏负，除非出于同意，暂时分房，为要专心祷告，以后仍要同房，免得撒但因你们不能自制，试诱你们。
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　　保罗在这里用相当重的字眼，提起说，有的人是感觉过强的人。性的感觉过于强烈，为免欲火攻心，保罗说，应该结婚（9）。保罗没有责备这样的人。保罗没有说，“你有强的感觉是错的，你有强的感觉是罪，所以要为肉体安排。”保罗说，“你有强的感觉，你要结婚。与其有强的感觉，倒不如结婚好。”所以，神的话对于这件事非常清楚。性的感觉不是罪。就是性的感觉相当强的人也不是罪。并且神规定，性的感觉强的人应该结婚。不要一面又不结婚，一面又落到罪里面去。这就是主给我们看见的。　　这样，婚姻的设立，就变作有旧约和新约两个不同的方面。在旧约里，乃是给我们看见说，有一个配偶，给我们帮助。在新约里乃是说，能够防止犯罪。所以今天在基督徒的婚姻中，一面是注意彼此的帮助，一面是为着防止犯罪。
　
　　第三，彼得在他的前书三章七节说，妻子乃是“一同承受恩典的器皿。”换句话说，神喜欢夫妻一同来事奉祂。神欢喜有亚居拉、百基拉来事奉祂，欢喜有彼得和他的妻子，犹大和他的妻子，一同来事奉祂。
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书3:7  
耶和华对约书亚说，从今日起，我必使你在以色列众人眼前尊大，使他们知道我怎样与摩西同在，也必照样与你同在。
约书亚记一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　所以，在基督徒的婚姻里，有三个基本的性质。一个是彼此帮助，一个是防止犯罪，一个是两个人在神面前一同受恩。不只是一个人作基督徒，乃是两个人作基督徒。不只是一个人受恩，乃是两个人共同受恩。
　
　　另一面，圣经也给我们看见说，有的人虽然有性的感觉，可是他这个感觉不强，没有需要来满足这个要求。圣经就劝这样的人守童身。
　
　　不是说，童身比结婚更圣洁（指着属灵方面的）。但是，守童身的人，的确能够将身体的力量，完全用在主的工作上。这一个，也是在林前七章里提到的。
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哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　保罗给我们看见说，结婚的人有三个难处。第一，结婚是一个缠累。他说，“有妻子缠着。”（27）许多时候，人一结婚就不得自由，人一结婚就有许多事情要作。因为有妻子缠着，所以就不得不作。第二，结婚的人有苦难。他说，“肉身必受苦难。”（28）人一有婚姻，自然而然肉身的苦难就必加增，叫他不能专心事奉主。第三，结婚的人是为着世上的事挂虑（32~34）。这一个为着世上的事的挂虑，主耶稣在马太十三章说，很容易把麦子挤在荆棘里面，不能够结果子（22）。总而言之，结婚在家庭的事情上有它的难处：有缠累，有苦难，有挂虑。
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马太福音十三章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
太13:22  
还有那撒在荆棘里的，就是人听了道，后来有今世的思虑，和钱财的迷惑，把道全然挤住了，道就不能结实。
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　　保罗的这些话，不只是对作工的人说的，也是对所有的弟兄姊妹说的。人如果守童身，能够省去许多难处。保罗没有命令叫他们守童身，但是读保罗的话，保罗的倾向是要人守童身。保罗在那里没有什么自己的主张，只是将事实告诉弟兄们，你们如果结婚是好，因为能够免去犯罪的危险；可是结婚要叫你们多有缠累，多有苦难，同时多有世上的挂虑。
　
　　保罗在下面就给我们看见说，什么样的人可以守童身。他说，有的人，有神的恩赐的人，就可以守童身。守童身乃是神的一个恩赐。这个人接受神的恩赐是这样，那个人接受神的恩赐是那样。若是我需要结婚，连结婚也是神的恩赐，没有恩赐就结婚不来。所以保罗说，“各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。”（林前七7）守童身的人，有神的恩赐；结婚的人，也有神的恩赐。
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林前7:7  
我愿意众人都像我一样；只是各人都有自己从神得来的恩赐，有人是这样，有人是那样。
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　　一个守童身的人，第一个条件，就是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。你们知道，在有的人身上，性的力量是强迫他；在有的人身上，是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。凡是没有性的强迫的人，就可以守童身。　　第二，自己有意思守，而且是坚定的。三十六至三十七节说，“若有人以为自己待他的童贞不合宜，也过了年岁，事又当行，他就可随意办理，不算有罪，成亲就是了。倘若人心里坚定，没有不得已的事，并且由得自己作主，心里又决定留下童贞，如此行也好。”（原文）保罗给我们看见说，守童身乃是人自己有这意思，人自己要。不只是我这一个人没有性的强迫，并且是我自己要守童身，我自己有意思守童身。若有人以为说，我这样待我的童身不对，他就可以结婚，若有人有意思守童身，有倾向守童身，并且是坚定的要在这里守，这一个人就可以守。所以心里的坚定是需要的。　　第三，必须没有环境上的难处。三十七节提起说，“没有不得已的事。”有的人在环境上有难处，不容易安排。有的人如果要守童身，也许家庭里有许多难处。所以必须在环境上有安排，才能守童身。　　保罗在这里给我们看见守童身的三个基本条件：（一）感觉不强迫。（二）心里坚定的要这样作。（三）没有环境上的难处。这三个条件都具备了，就能够守童身。
　
　　守童身的人，的的确确是能够在神面前多得着的人。我想，马太十九章是够清楚地给我们看见，守童身的人的的确确更容易进天国。我们必须承认，马太十九章里“为天国的缘故自阉的人，”（12）相当明显是说到守童身与天国发生关系。我们不敢说，守童身与天国发生什么关系，但是我们能说，守童身的的确确对于进天国有上算的地方。所以，主才在这里告诉我们说，有的人为着进天国的缘故自阉，要守童身。
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马太福音十九章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
马太福音十九章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
太19:12  
因为有的阉人从母腹生来就是这样，也有的阉人是被人阉的，并有的阉人是为诸天之国的缘故自阉的。那能接受的，就让他接受。
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　　不只如此，到了启示录十四章，你看见那些初熟的果子（十四万四千人），都是守童身的；羔羊无论往哪里去，他们都跟着。（3~4）这十四万四千人是特别早被提的人。所以我们看见，守童身的的确确与被提发生关系。将来我们要知道，守童身的人的的确确在进天国和被提的事上上算。至于今天呢？保罗说，守童身的的确确能够减少苦难，能够好好的事奉神。
--------本段经节汇集--------
启示录十四章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
启14:3  
他们在宝座前，并在四活物和众长老前唱新歌；除了从地上买来的那十四万四千人以外，没有人能学这歌。
启14:4  
这些人未曾与妇女在一起受到玷污，他们原是童身。羔羊无论往哪里去，他们都跟随祂。他们是从人间买来的，作初熟的果子归与神和羔羊；
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　　这一件事，我们只能摆在弟兄姊妹面前。因为人必须没有性的强迫才能作。必须自己能够定规才能作，也必须在环境上有这一个安排，没有什么特别的需要才能作。我们就是按着圣经的教训，很客观的摆在弟兄姊妹面前，让各人在神的面前有挑选。
　
　　在婚姻的事情上，神曾安排下条件，就是与谁能结婚，与谁不能结婚。神在圣经里给我们看得够清楚，神的子民的婚姻，只应当限于神的子民之中。换句话说，如果有婚姻的事，是应该以神的子民为对象，不应该在神的子民之外来结婚。
　
　　在旧约里，就有够多的命令，给我们看见说，我们不应该在神的子民之外与别的人结婚。　　申命记七章三至四节告诉我们，不可与以色列人之外的迦南人结婚。不可将女儿嫁给他们的儿子，也不可叫儿子娶他们的女儿。因为他们必使我们转离不跟从主，去事奉别神。所以，神在旧约里已经够清楚地给我们看见，婚姻的对象乃是在主里的人。不能在信主的人之外找妻子，不能在信主的人之外找丈夫。不然的话，最大的难处，就是要叫我们离弃耶和华，去事奉别神。妻子跟着丈夫去拜偶像，是容易的事。丈夫跟着妻子去拜偶像，也是容易的事。因为既然结婚，就很容易去拜他们的神。
--------本段经节汇集--------
申7:3  
不可与他们结亲：不可将你的女儿嫁给他们的儿子，也不可为你的儿子娶他们的女儿；
申7:4  
因为他们必使你儿子转离不跟从我，去事奉别神，以致耶和华的怒气向你们发作，就速速地将你们灭绝。
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　　约书亚二十三章十二至十三节，也警戒以色人，不要与当地的人结婚。他们要成为一个网罗，要成为你的刺，在你身上。你要看见，你的妻子是你的刺，你的丈夫是你的刺，结果你们要落到网罗里去。
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书23:12  
你们若稍微转去，依附你们中间所剩下的这些国民，与他们彼此结亲，互相往来，
书23:13  
你们要确实知道，耶和华你们的神，必不再将他们从你们面前赶出去；他们却要成为你们的网罗、陷阱、肋上的鞭、眼中的刺，直到你们在耶和华你们神所赐的这美地上灭亡。
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　　在尼希米的时候，以色列人从被掳之地回到犹太地后，有许多人因为娶外邦女子为妻，结果落到一个地步，他们不能讲犹太的话。所以，在尼希米十三章二十三到二十七节，要他们与外邦女子完全断绝，不要与外邦女子有来往。在这里你们要看见，与外邦的女子结婚，有一个难处，就是你所生的儿女，迟早要跟他们走，不能和你一同事奉神。你们如果娶外邦人，或是嫁给外邦人，你们的儿女很容易跟着他们走，落到世界里去，这是相当难的事。
--------本段经节汇集--------
尼希米记十三章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　玛拉基章二十一节给我们看见，以色列人有许多诡诈的罪，他们亵渎神的圣洁，因他们娶外邦人为妻。以神的眼光来看，娶外邦女子，就是亵渎神的圣洁。所以，基督徒的婚姻乃是有对象的，基督徒婚姻的对象只应该是在信徒中间。　　我们从所罗门的事也可以得到一个鉴戒。所罗门是最有智慧的王，但因为娶外邦的女子，就也拜偶像，陷入拜偶像的地步。
　
　　在新约里，保罗对我们说的话够清楚。林前七章三十九节，他对寡妇说，要嫁给在主里的人。
--------本段经节汇集--------
林前7:39  
丈夫活着的时候，妻子是被束缚的；丈夫若睡了，妻子就可以自由，随愿嫁人，只是要嫁在主里的人。
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　　林后六章十四节，这是一段顶有名的圣经，给我们看见，信的和不信的不能同负一轭。这句话不只是指着婚姻说的，但是也包括婚姻在内。信的和不信的不要作同样的事，不要为着同一个目的，就像把一个轭摆在两个人的背上来犁田，这是神不许可的。神不许可一个信的和一个不信的在那里负一个轭。在旧约里面，一只牛不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。一匹驴也不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。不能一个快，一个慢。不能一个往这一边走，一个往那一边走。不能一个往天上去，一个往世界去。不能一个要得着属灵的祝福，一个要得着世界的丰富。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边，这一个轭非折断不可。
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林后6:14  
你们跟不信的，不要不配地同负一轭，因为义和不法有什么合伙？光对黑暗有什么交通？
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
哥林多后书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
------------------------
　　在信的和不信的不能同负一轭的事情上，没有一件事比婚姻更厉害。从合股作生意起，或者加入什么事起，一直到婚姻为止，最厉害的轭是婚姻。信的人和不信的人一同在那里负起家庭的责任，结果定规是相当的难。所以，最理想的结婚对象必须是弟兄，是姊妹。千万不要随意去找不信的人。你如果随意去找外面不信的人，将来定规相当困难。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边。一个往天上去，一个往世界去。一个寻求天上的恩赐，一个寻求世界的丰富。其间不知道差多少倍。所以圣经的命令，要嫁娶在主里面的人。
　
　　在这里发生一个问题，假定有一个弟兄已经结婚了，他的妻子是不信的；或者有一个姊妹，她的丈夫是不信的，那该怎么作？刚才是说，人如果没有结婚，人如果要寻找对象，就应该寻找主里面的弟兄，主里面的姊妹。但是，有的人已经结婚了，已经有一个不信的妻子，或者有一个不信的丈夫，该怎么办？
　
　　这一件事，在林前七章里有记载。七章十二节、十三节、十五节，答复这一个问题说，如果夫妻中有一个信了主，在家庭里面发生了难处，要怎么办。请你们记得，今天因为许多人信主信得不彻底，所以家庭里的难处不多。主耶稣在福音书里，预料家庭的难处是多的。信主的人如果信得彻底，家庭里就要发生事情。路加福音里所说的三个和两个相争，两个和三个相争，都是因着信主而发生的。所以，今天如果有一个丈夫，因着妻子信主的缘故，他走开；他说，你信了主，我不要你。这时，这位妻子该怎么办？主在林前七章这里的话是够清楚地，就是让他走。所以，如果有丈夫因着妻子信主的缘故要走开，如果有妻子因着丈夫信主的缘故要走开，就让他离开吧。
--------本段经节汇集--------
哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
林前7:12  
我对其余的人说，不是主说，倘若某弟兄有不信的妻子，妻子也情愿和他同住，他就不要离弃妻子；
林前7:13  
妻子有不信的丈夫，丈夫也情愿和她同住，她就不要离弃丈夫。
林前7:15  
倘若那不信的人离去，就由他离去吧；无论是弟兄、是姊妹，在这种情形之下，都不必受束缚，然而神已经在平安里召了我们。
哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　可是，这一件事必须弄清楚，就是说，主动的不是我们，乃是他。不是我说要走开，乃是他说要走开。是他在那里不满意，以为你相信了主，没有前途，所以他要走。如果他要走，就让他走。
　
　　如果他无所谓，保罗说，那就不必离开。因为你怎么知道主不会因着你拯救他？他如果无所谓，他如果要住下去，保罗说，我们就应该和人和睦，我们不应该离开。他说，不信的人能够因为着信的人成圣。同时他说，你怎么知道不能拯救他呢？如果他要离开，那是他的事，不是你的事。如果他不离开，我们相信主会救他，并且保罗说，救他是相当容易的事。主救旁的人不容易，但这个人是你的人，主救他特别容易。我们要站在这一个地位上，来对付这一件事。
　
　　还有的弟兄姊妹有另外的难处，就是已经和不信的人订了婚，那应该怎么办？
　
　　主不要我们与不信的人结婚，这是相当清楚地。所以，若有人已经与不信的人订了婚，最好不信的未婚夫，或不信的未婚妻，自动的来解约。因为还没有结婚，不过有婚约而已。若是主开路，不信的那一方面因着你信主，而乐意解约，这是相当好的事。
　
　　不过，这一件事，许多时候不可能。因为既然有了婚约，对方不会因为你信了主，就很容易的放手。这个时候要记得说，我与人订婚是与人立了一个约，那一个约就是我在神面前所给人的一个应许。基督徒不能因着自己信了主的缘故随便毁约。因为约在神面前都是圣的。你看见说，你如果能够向他提议分开，这是好的事。他可以提议离开，你也可以提议离开。这一个提议不一定要他主动，这和刚才的不一样。已经结了婚的，是他主动。已经订了婚的，我可以主动说，最好分开。他如果一定要我履行婚约，我就必定要履行。因为一个基督徒，话说出去了，就必须履行，不能破坏。神就是照着话行，所以有救恩。神如果说话不算数，就连救恩都没有了。所以，我们要和对方讲好，如果人不愿意，就非娶她，非嫁他不可。　　诗篇十五篇里说，“他发了誓，虽然自己吃亏，也不更改。”（4）当以色列人进了迦南地后，基遍人欺骗了他们，用霉的饼，破的衣服，破的鞋子，来说他们是远处的人。约书亚就应许不杀他们。后来找出来他们是近处的人，但因已经立了约，所以神不许杀他们，至多叫他们作砍柴挑水的人。（书九3~27）所以，在圣经里，非常看重守约的事。他自己乐意放弃，我放弃不要紧。如果他不乐意放弃，我就不能放弃。基遍的事是非常厉害的。后来因为扫罗杀了基遍人，天就不下雨。大卫没有办法，就问基遍人怎么办？基遍人要把扫罗的子孙七个人悬挂在树上，大卫只得照办。（撒下二一1~6）所以，神不许可我们马马虎虎的毁约。我们必须学习，立了约就应当按着约行。我们不能作一件不义的事。
--------本段经节汇集--------
诗篇十五篇（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
诗15:4  
他眼中藐视可弃绝的人，却尊重敬畏耶和华的人。他发了誓，虽然自己吃亏，也不更改。
书9:3  
基遍的居民听见约书亚向耶利哥和艾城所行的事，
书9:4  
也就设诡计，假充使者而来；他们拿旧粮袋和破裂缝补的旧皮酒袋驮在驴上，
书9:5  
将补过的旧鞋穿在脚上，把旧衣服穿在身上；他们带着作食物的饼都是干的，都长了霉。
书9:6  
他们到吉甲营中见约书亚，对他和以色列人说，我们是从远地来的，现在求你们与我们立约。
书9:7  
以色列人对这些希未人说，只怕你们是住在我们中间的；若是这样，我们怎能和你们立约呢？
书9:8  
他们对约书亚说，我们是你的仆人。约书亚问他们说，你们是什么人？是从哪里来的？
书9:9  
他们说，你仆人是因耶和华你神的名，从极远之地而来，因为我们听见祂的名声和祂在埃及所行的一切事，
书9:10  
并祂向约但河东亚摩利人的两个王，就是希实本王西宏和在亚斯他录的巴珊王噩，一切所行的事。
书9:11  
我们的长老和我们那地的一切居民对我们说，你们手里要带着路上用的食物去迎接以色列人，对他们说，我们是你们的仆人；现在求你们与我们立约。
书9:12  
我们出来要往你们这里来的日子，从家里带出来作食物的这饼还是热的；看哪，现在都干了，都长了霉。
书9:13  
这些皮酒袋，我们盛酒的时候还是新的；看哪，现在已经破裂。我们这些衣服和鞋，因为道路甚远，也都穿旧了。
书9:14  
以色列人受了他们些食物，并没有求耶和华指示。
书9:15  
于是约书亚与他们讲和，与他们立约，让他们活着；会众的首领也向他们起誓。
书9:16  
以色列人与他们立约之后，过了三天才听说他们是近邻，住在以色列人中间的。
书9:17  
以色列人起行，第三天到了他们的城邑，就是基遍、基非拉、比录、基列耶琳。
书9:18  
以色列人没有击杀他们，因为会众的首领已经指着耶和华以色列的神向他们起了誓；全会众就向首领发怨言。
书9:19  
众首领对全会众说，我们已经指着耶和华以色列的神向他们起了誓，现在我们不能碰他们。
书9:20  
我们要如此待他们，让他们活着，免得因我们向他们所起的誓，就有忿怒临到我们身上。
书9:21  
众首领又对会众说，要让他们活着。于是他们为全会众作了劈柴打水的人，正如众首领论到他们所说的。
书9:22  
约书亚召了他们来，对他们说，为什么欺哄我们说，我们离你们甚远呢？其实你们是住在我们中间。
书9:23  
现在你们是被咒诅的；你们中间必不断有人作奴仆，为我神的殿作劈柴打水的人。
书9:24  
他们回答约书亚说，因为实在有人告诉你的仆人，耶和华你的神曾吩咐祂的仆人摩西，把这全地赐给你们，并将这地的一切居民从你们面前除灭，所以我们为你们的缘故甚怕丧命，就行了这事。
书9:25  
现在你看，我们在你手中，你看怎样待我们为善为正，就怎样作吧。
书9:26  
于是约书亚这样待他们，救他们脱离以色列人的手，以色列人就没有杀他们。
书9:27  
当日约书亚使他们在耶和华所要选择的地方，为会众和耶和华的坛作劈柴打水的人，直到今日。
撒下21:1  
大卫在位的日子有饥荒，一连三年，大卫就求问耶和华。耶和华说，这是因着扫罗，因着他的家流了人的血，因为他曾杀死基遍人。
撒下21:2  
原来这基遍人不是以色列人，乃是亚摩利人中所剩的；以色列人曾向他们起誓，不杀灭他们，扫罗却为以色列人和犹大人发热心，想要杀灭他们。大卫王召了基遍人来，
撒下21:3  
对他们说，我当为你们怎样行？可用什么遮罪，使你们为耶和华的产业祝福？
撒下21:4  
基遍人对他说，我们和扫罗与他家的事并不关乎金银，我们也不愿以色列中有一个人被处死。大卫说，你们怎样说，我就为你们怎样行。
撒下21:5  
他们对王说，那从前毁坏我们，谋害我们，要灭绝我们，使我们不得在以色列全境内立足的人，
撒下21:6  
请将他子孙中的七人交给我们，我们要在耶和华面前，将他们悬挂在耶和华所拣选之扫罗的基比亚。王说，我必交给你们。
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　　你和人订了婚约，现在你信了主，对方一定要嫁，或者一定要娶，这怎么办？在这里有一件事你可以作，就是和对方先约好。你说，“我定规娶你，或者嫁你；不过有几件事，在没有结婚之前，我要和你讲好。”那几件事呢？第一，你必须让我能事奉主。我不是假冒的到你家里来，我是挂了旗子来的。我今天是基督徒，是嫁你也好，是娶你也好，你必须给我自由事奉主，你不能干涉我的事奉主。第二，如果将来有儿女，必须按着主的教训来养育他们。你信不信是你的事，但是我们的儿女，必须照主的教训来养育。话要说在先。这一件事绝对要提起，预先说好。不预先说好就有难处，预先说好就没有难处。嫁一个不信的人是一个损失，娶一个不信的人也是一个损失。要减少损失，减少难处，我们就得先说好。你要给我自由，儿女要信主。我已经作基督徒，我不往世界去。我已经作基督徒，我是往主那一边去。你如果觉得好就好，你如果觉得不好就解约。我们要把将来的行为摆在他们面前。我想，如果这样作，可以稍微减少一点难处。
　
　　这乃是事实上的难处，而不是理想上的难处，我们只能说，在这件事上，在圣经里没有教训。不过，我们要摸保罗的感觉。保罗在林前七章里盼望说，如果可能，寡妇不出嫁。但是他又说，盼望寡妇嫁给在主里的人（39）。所以，当有需要的时候，寡妇可以出嫁。我们根据这一个原则，就能看见说，一个弟兄最好是娶在主里面的姊妹。如果没有那一个可能，他能够不娶是最好，他如果需要娶的话，我们还是愿意他娶。就是不信的，我们还是愿意他娶。
--------本段经节汇集--------
哥林多前书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
林前7:39  
丈夫活着的时候，妻子是被束缚的；丈夫若睡了，妻子就可以自由，随愿嫁人，只是要嫁在主里的人。
哥林多前书一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　我们提起这一件事，并不是像世人所说，两害之中取其轻的。我们乃是说，宁可犯神行政上的罪，而不犯道德上的罪。我如果不结婚会犯罪，那是犯道德上的罪。我如果娶不信的女子，我是犯神行政上的罪。罪有两种，一种是道德上的罪，一种是神行政上的罪。请你们记得，道德上的罪比行政上的罪重。我宁可犯神行政上的罪，不可犯道德上的罪。今天一个弟兄有结婚的需要，找不到姊妹，他如果能够不娶更好，如果不能不娶，他就是娶不信的人，也只能让他娶。　　如果你娶不信的人，你的眼睛必须开起来，必须知道难处非常大。一个人信主之后，如果娶一个不信的人，难处特别大。这比一对不信的夫妻，后来有一个相信了，所遭受的难处要大得多。后来信主的丈夫或妻子，他在家庭里面会遇到难处，但许多时候主要把他带过去。一个人已经相信了主，再去娶不信的人，许多时候，的确有许多难为。我们要告诉他，他的眼睛必须开着，知道在前面有难处。　　一个人如果娶一个不信的人，还要告诉他，必须防备给对方带走。请记得，你娶不信的人，稍微不小心，很容易就给她带走。已经结了婚的，或者已经订了婚的，固然也要小心，但是这一个要特别小心。换句话说，要特别的保护、保守，特别的祷告，不要给她掳去。　　你若不得已和不信的人结婚，也必须先把条件讲清楚。你要告诉这不信的人说，我已经信了，你信不信我不勉强你，可是你不能干涉我信仰的事，你要给我完全的自由。还有儿女的问题，也必须提起。关于儿女信仰的事，你必须给我自由带他信主。我要我的儿女相信主，我不要他们拜偶像，或者效法世人的样子。你把这些话说得差不多的时候，也许这一个问题可以勉强过去。　　我要对年长一点的弟兄姊妹说几句话，当你们看到初信的弟兄姊妹遇见这样的问题时，你们要小心，不要给他们把门开得太大，以致他们随便与不信的人结婚。另一面，不要把门关得太紧，以致他们不犯行政上的罪，而去犯道德上的罪。宁可让他们碰着神的行政，落在神政治的手里，不可让他们犯道德上的罪。　　关于这一面的事，我有一点意见。各地的青年弟兄姊妹并不少，若是在择配上发生难处，主要是因许多弟兄姊妹对于人的出身，对于人的背景看得太重。如果要一个身分高一点的弟兄，娶一个身分低一点的姊妹，他就不乐意。如果要一个身分高一点的姊妹，嫁给一个身分低一点的弟兄，她就不乐意。今天，弟兄并不缺少，姊妹也不缺少。就是由于这个门第问题，发生了许多难处。我想，如果弟兄姊妹对于职业的看法有点改变，这一个问题就容易解决。如果看种地的弟兄不是低的，姊妹出嫁就容易。如果看种地的姊妹不是低的，弟兄娶也容易。今天我们把神所以为高的职业看为低，把人所以为高的职业看为高，所以就不容易解决。今天在我们中间，不缺少姊妹，不缺少弟兄，所缺少的是门第上的相配。而这一个门第是世界的。所以，要将职业的观念完全转过来，这个问题才能解决。
　
　　在圣经里，没有命令人脱离他自己的妾。在圣经里，没有一个地方，从神的眼光来看，要勉强人叫妾离开。这是指着没有信主之前所娶的。在圣经里，我想也有够多的地方给我们看见，神要人怎样对待他的妾。　　或者，我先提起人今天的要求，然后来看圣经的要求。人的要求，第一，要把所有的妾遣散。第二，如果不遣散，丈夫不应该和他的妾有性的关系。这是弟兄姊妹普通的思想。但这不是神所给我们看见的，这是异教的思想。
　
　　我们看见，在圣经里没有一个人娶妾比大卫更坏；他不只是娶妾，并且是谋害人命来娶妾。乌利亚的丧命，是因着妻子的缘故。大卫是牺牲乌利亚来得着拔示巴。而所罗门是拔示巴所生的。主耶稣也是拔示巴所生的。这一个事实，直到新约，主还承认。马太一章里面有拔示巴的名字，而且是说乌利亚的妻子。有四个女人在马太一章里面。这一件事情你们必须看见：娶妾的人只能自己伏在神管教的手下，不能把妾赶出去。
--------本段经节汇集--------
马太福音一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
马太福音一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　为什么圣经没有要求把妾赶出去呢？请你们记得，奸淫的罪，与娶妾完全不一样。我今天偷了人一本圣经，我能够还他一本圣经。我今天偷了人一千块钱，我能够还他一千块钱。我今天娶了一个妾，我没有法子还她。　　有的弟兄以为说，应该把妾赶出去。他是从男人的眼光来看。男人在神面前要知道，娶妾是犯奸淫。但妾嫁给你，并没有嫁两个丈夫。你娶了两个女子，她没有嫁两个丈夫。所以，你们要看见说，主在这里没有叫人把妾赶出去。　　我想，所罗门母亲的原则是够清楚地。主为着大卫娶拔示巴的缘故，特意差派先知拿单去找大卫。主所有的话，都已经叫拿单说了，所以不要在拿单之外，加上什么话。拿单所漏掉的，不必你在三千年后的今天再来补。拿单对他说，你的儿子要死，报应要来；十个妃嫔，人要在明处与她们犯奸淫；刀剑要在你的家里。（撒下十二7~14）拿单没有说，要把拔示巴打发回去。你把她打发回去，她怎么办？乌利亚死了。有的人没有乌利亚，有的人乌利亚死了，这怎么办？所以，神打发拿单去见大卫，并没有要大卫把拔示巴赶出去。反而到了后来，神叫她生所罗门（24）。在大卫的妻子中，神没有叫一个生所罗门，神却叫大卫的妾拔示巴生所罗门。并且新约第一页说，大卫从乌利亚的妻子生所罗门（太一6下）。新约里，没有说可以娶妾，但是也没有说要赶妾。
--------本段经节汇集--------
撒下12:7  
拿单对大卫说，你就是那人。耶和华以色列的神如此说，我膏你作以色列的王，救你脱离扫罗的手；
撒下12:8  
我将你主人的家业赐给你，将你主人的妻妾交在你怀里，又将以色列和犹大家赐给你；这若是太少，还可以多多地加给你。
撒下12:9  
你为什么藐视耶和华的话，行祂眼中看为恶的事？你用刀击杀赫人乌利亚，又娶了他的妻子作你的妻子；你是借亚扪人的刀杀了他。
撒下12:10  
你既藐视我，娶了赫人乌利亚的妻子为妻，故此刀剑必永不离开你的家。
撒下12:11  
耶和华如此说，看哪，我必从你家中兴起祸患攻击你；我必在你眼前把你的妻妾赐给与你亲近的人，他必在日光之下与她们同寝。
撒下12:12  
你在暗中行这事，我却要在全以色列面前，在日光之下施行报应。
撒下12:13  
大卫对拿单说，我得罪耶和华了。拿单说，耶和华已经除掉你的罪，你必不至于死。
撒下12:14  
只是你因着行这事，叫耶和华的仇敌大得亵渎的机会，故此，你所得的儿子必定要死。
撒下12:24  
大卫安慰他的妻子拔示巴，进到她那里去，与她同寝，她就生了一个儿子，大卫给他起名叫所罗门。耶和华喜爱他，
太1:6  
耶西生大卫王。大卫从作过乌利亚妻子的生所罗门，
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　　出埃及二十一章九至十一节曾经规定，一个主人若选定一个婢女给自己的儿子，就当待她如同女儿。如果将来这个儿子正式娶亲，这一个婢女就变作妾。神在这里规定这一件事非常清楚，就是说，在她的吃食、衣服、并好合的事上不可减少。如果不向她行这三样，她就可以出去，不再是奴仆。所以，人如果以为不能与妾有好合的事，这是根本不遵守神的律法。我盼望你们将这一件事弄清楚。
--------本段经节汇集--------
出21:9  
主人若选定她给自己的儿子，就当照着待女儿的规矩待她。
出21:10  
主人若另娶一个女子，原先女子的饮食、衣服并好合的事，仍不可减少。
出21:11  
若不向她行这三样，她就可以不用钱赎，白白地出去。
出埃及记一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　在新约里，只有一个地方，讲到妾的问题。我们读圣经，就是喜欢看到一件事只有一个地方提起。如果在圣经里，一件事有两个地方提起，就必须比较。如果有三个以上的地方提起，就要综合起来看，才能知道神的教训。所以，每一个圣经的学者，都喜欢只有一个地方的话，因为只要读这一个地方，就知道神对于这一件事的旨意。在新约里，只有一个地方，就是提摩太前书，提到妾的问题。那里说，作教会长老的人，只应该作一个妇人的丈夫（三2）。所以，凡娶妾的人，在教会里不应该作长老。但是，新约圣经并没有说，他应该把妾赶出去，或者说不应该有好合的事。
--------本段经节汇集--------
提前3:2  
所以作监督的必须无可指责，只作一个妻子的丈夫，节制适度，清明自守，端正规矩，乐意待客，善于教导；
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　　如果一个妾已经得救了，她只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫，愿意和丈夫分开，也是好事。这是自愿，不是主的要求，也不是教会的要求。教会对于这一件事不应该有要求。　　神所配合的只有两个。这一个原则，无论如何要维持。所以，相当明显，一个人娶了妾，肉身上的苦难就比娶一个妻子的要多，在管治上要大大增加。
　
玖
　
离婚
　　在圣经里，有离婚的规定。但是，在圣经里，离婚只根据一个条件。世界各国的法律，对于离婚有许多规定；有的国家规定了二十几条，我们中国也规定了多少条，说到夫妻若有一方精神丧失，或不同意等等，就能够离婚。但是在圣经里，只有一个条件可以离婚，那唯一的条就是犯奸淫。人精神丧失也好，失踪多年也好，这些都不是条件。乃是与别人有性的行为，这是唯一的条件。主耶稣在马太十九章，路加十六章里清楚给我们看见，人如果犯了奸淫，就可以离婚。
--------本段经节汇集--------
马太福音十九章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
路加福音十六章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　你们也许要问，为着什么犯奸淫就可以离婚呢？因为神所配合的，人不可分开。换句话说，从神看来，夫妻乃是合一的，任何的离婚都是破坏这一个合一。什么叫作犯奸淫？就是破坏那一个合一。你在你自己的丈夫之外，你在你自己的妻子之外有性的行为，你犯了奸淫，你就是破坏了合一。所以，请你们记得，不管一个失踪了多年也好，精神丧失也好，精神虐待也好，或者其他的理由也好，他的丈夫或妻子若是离开，去和别人结婚，就是破坏合一，犯了奸淫。
　
　　为什么犯奸淫可以离婚呢？因为已经把合一破坏了。你本来和你的丈夫是合一的，你的丈夫一犯奸淫，你就可以自由。本来是合一的，所以你要保守。现在那一个合一他已经失去了，所以你可以自由。所以，犯奸淫是唯一离婚的条件。丈夫犯奸淫，妻子要离开，可以。如果有一个姊妹，她的丈夫犯奸淫，或者娶妾，这一个姊妹可以离婚，教会不能拦阻。她不只可以离婚，还可以改嫁。任何破坏这一个合一的，都是罪。所以只有犯奸淫可以离开，因为犯奸淫已经破坏了那合一。离婚不过是宣布说，我和我丈夫的合一已经没有了。没有合一，她要改嫁就可以。　　马太十九章，路加十六章，是两个够清楚地地方，我们要好好的注意。离婚是根据奸淫。奸淫把老的合一破坏了，夫妻不再是一个，是两个了，所以可以离婚。为什么可以离婚？因为已经没有合一了。所以，夫妻的离婚，是在一方犯奸淫的时候，不是在办离婚手续的时候。今天所谓的离婚，不过是手续而已。婚姻的存在，是宣告那一个合一的存在；离婚，是宣布那一个合一已经不存在。所以，犯了奸淫可以离婚。没有犯奸淫而离婚，结果双方都是犯奸淫。假定说，丈夫和妻子都没有犯奸淫的事，就是相处不好，也不能离婚。一旦离婚了，就是犯奸淫。那一个合一还在，如果改嫁改娶，都是犯奸淫。只有合一不存在，才可以离婚。
--------本段经节汇集--------
马太福音十九章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
路加福音十六章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　所以我们要认识，什么叫作婚姻？婚姻就是合一。两个人不再是两个人，是一体。奸淫就是拆毁合一。离婚是宣布合一的拆毁。今天合一在我们中间已经没有了，所以可以改嫁。合一如果还在，两个人就是吵得顶厉害，不相和，要离婚；世界上的人许可，世界上的法律也许可，但从神的眼光来看，不许可。先离婚反而是犯奸淫。只有先犯奸淫后离婚才是可以的。我们一定要看见说，神所配合的，人不能分开。既然有了配合，千万不要分开，这是不可能的事。
　
　　为着这个缘故，圣经里也就许可，已经死了妻子的人可以再娶，寡妇可以再嫁。婚姻只到死为止。婚姻的关系，复活的时候不存在。复活的时候，人也不娶，也不嫁（太二二30）。娶和嫁是在这一个世界里面的事。天使也不娶，也不嫁。复活的人也不娶，也不嫁。嫁娶是今生的事，不是来生的事。所以，婚姻是到死为止。到了死的时候，你如果为着已往情感的缘故，不娶不嫁也可以。你如果要再娶或再嫁，圣经里许可这件事。
--------本段经节汇集--------
太22:30  
在复活的时候，人也不娶也不嫁，乃像天上的使者一样。
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　　我们可以注意罗马七章的教训。那里说，每一个基督徒都是再嫁的人。借着基督的死，借着基督的复活，我们再嫁了。罗马七章给我们看见说，丈夫管人是在活着的时候，丈夫死了，妻子就可以再嫁。凡丈夫没有死而另嫁的，就是淫妇。如果我们在律法上没有死，作安息日会的人，那我们都是淫妇。感谢神，我们只有一个丈夫。安息日会有两个丈夫。罗马七章的教训说，律法没有死，我们不能属乎基督；如果属乎基督，我们就是淫妇。我们本来是嫁给律法的人，是属乎律法的人。但因着基督，我们已经死了；今天我们拣选基督，不是淫妇。我们都是再嫁给基督的人。我们在律法上已经死了，所以我们不是淫妇。所以，罗马七章说，丈夫管妻子是到死为止。丈夫一死，妻子就有自由。在教会里，绝不应该有一个观念，以为寡妇再嫁是错的。这一种的思想，是外邦人的思想。
--------本段经节汇集--------
罗马书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
罗马书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
罗马书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
罗马书七章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　如果寡妇像守童身的人一样，不再嫁人，这是好的。保罗说，我盼望寡妇和没有嫁娶的人，能像我一样。如果是为着事奉主，也像守童身那样独身是对的。如果是因着社会上人的批评，社会上人的看法而不结婚，这是错的。我盼望在教会里能除去这一个看法。　　保罗对提摩太说，我盼望年轻的寡妇出嫁，这就像一个弟兄再娶一样。今天的问题，是你有没有那一个需要。有的在生理上有那一个需要。有的人觉得孤单，这是心理的需要。有的人家庭环境有需要。如果有的弟兄死了妻子，结婚是对的。如果有的姊妹死了丈夫，结婚也是对的。基督徒不可在这件事上有批评。我们要把异教的思想拿走。
　
拾壹
　
罪的问题
　　神在圣经里承认说，性是对的，性的感觉是对的，性的行为也是对的。性的感觉不只不是罪，并且是圣洁的。但这只限定于婚姻里面。在婚姻里面，这是对的，并且是圣洁的。任何性的感觉，或者行为，在合一之外的都是罪。你们看见么，什么叫作罪？就是说，在婚姻之外的叫作罪。为什么缘故？因为在婚姻之外，你就破坏了那个合一。所以，罪的存在乃是由于破坏合一，罪的存在不是由于性本身。性本身没有罪，这一件事，我们必在神面前看清楚。　　比方说，主耶稣在马太五章里说，“你们听见有话说，‘不可奸淫。’只是我告诉你们，凡看见妇女就动淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。”（28）这里的“看见”原文乃是“看，”没有“见”的意思。“看”是有意志的作用在里面。是看妇女，不是见妇女。见是被动的，看是主动的。下面还有一个字“动淫念，”有的英文本翻作To Iust after her 。不是说，见妇女就产生淫念；乃是说，为着动了淫念所以去看。是动淫念在先，不是看在先。我们中文圣经是说，“凡看见妇女就动淫念的。”但主不是这样说。主是说，“凡看妇女，为着动了淫念的。”这一个看是第二次的看，不是第一次的看。第一次是你在路上看见妇女，第二次是你看她。在你第一次的看和第二次的看之间，你已经动了淫念。你第二次看她是为着动了淫念，所以这第二次的看是第三步的事。主耶稣所说的，不是指着第一次的看见，乃是指着第三步的看。妇女在路上，这是大家都看见的。但是有的人没有受约束，会动淫念，撒但会注射淫念给他，他第二次回头去看，这是罪。已经有了淫念，第二次去看，这就是罪。
--------本段经节汇集--------
马太福音五章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
太5:28  
但是我告诉你们，凡看妇女，有意贪恋她的，心里已经与她犯奸淫了。
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　　马太五章说，凡看妇女为着已经动了淫念的，这人心里已经与她犯奸淫了。主耶稣不是说第一次的看见。我们把第一次的看见摆进去就不对。我在路上偶然看见一个妇女，撒但把淫念射进来，我拒绝，就了了。我如果回头向她看一看，就是罪了。请你们记得，性的感觉不是罪，意志的赞成才是罪。因为这意志的赞成是在婚姻之外。你在意志上已经破坏了那一个合一。你在行为上破坏那一个合一，是罪；你在意志上破坏那一个合一，在神面前也是罪。
--------本段经节汇集--------
马太福音五章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
马太福音一章（略，若需要被汇集，请勾选“不忽略整章”）
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　　在旧约里，只说奸淫是罪。在旧约里，没有淫乱的罪。在旧约里，只不许人奸淫，因为人对于自己的认识不够。什么叫作奸淫呢？有配偶的人犯罪就是奸淫。什么是淫乱呢？没有配偶的人犯罪就是淫乱。行为是一样的，罪却不一样。可以说，妓女只会犯淫乱，不会犯奸淫，因为没有配偶。你在神面前要注意，神不要人淫乱。在旧约里只说到有配偶的人犯罪，没有说到没有配偶的与人犯罪。在旧约里不是没有这一个行为，只是这一个名词还没有出来。不只破坏合一的是罪，就是不破坏合一的也是罪。　　我们必须认识，奸淫是罪，淫乱也是罪。破坏有配偶的合一是罪；没有配偶的，没有破坏合一的淫乱也是罪。基督徒不应该奸淫，也不应该淫乱。我们要看见，性是圣洁的，性的感觉没有罪。性的行为是圣洁的，在婚姻里面没有罪。如果你已经有婚姻的关系，而在婚姻之外有性的行为，这是奸淫。如果你没有婚姻的关系，而有性的行为，这是淫乱。我们作信徒的人，在神面前要没有奸淫，也没有淫乱。
　In order to be a good Christian, one needs to deal with all the basic issues in a thorough way. If there is one basic issue that is not settled, whether it be the family or one’s occupation, problems will eventually come back. As long as there is one unresolved issue, a Christian will not be able to take a straight path before the Lord.
　Today we will cover the subject of marriage. A new believer should know what God’s Word has to say about marriage. We need to consider this subject from various angles.
　
Ⅰ
　
MARRIAGE BEING HOLY
　The first question to address with regard to marriage is the matter of sex. We need to be clear that human beings have an awareness of sex in the same way that they have an awareness of hunger. Just as the consciousness of hunger is a natural demand of the body, the consciousness of sex is also a natural demand of the body. To feel hungry is natural; it is not a sin. But to steal food is sin; that is not natural. Likewise, having a consciousness of sex is natural and is not a sin. But if a person uses improper means to satisfy his demand, he falls into sin.
　Marriage was ordained and initiated by God. Hence, the consciousness of sex also was given by God. Marriage is not something that was instituted after man’s fall; it was there before man sinned. It was not instituted after Genesis 3; rather, God ordained marriage in Genesis 2. Hence, the consciousness of sex existed before, not after, sin entered the world. It is definitely not a sin for a person to have the consciousness of sex. There is no element of sin in this consciousness. Rather, it is a consciousness created by God Himself.
　New believers must be clear concerning this point. I have contacted many young brothers and sisters in the course of my Christian life and service during the past thirty years. Many of them were troubled by the matter of marriage. They were unnecessarily condemned in their conscience because they were ignorant of God’s ordination as well as God’s Word. They had the consciousness and need of marriage, yet they thought that this was sin. Some brothers have fallen into serious doubts about God’s work only because of their consciousness of sex. It is a heathen thought to treat sex as something sinful. We need to be clear about God’s Word. Just as it is not sin for a man to feel hungry, the need for sex is not sinful; it is a natural consciousness.
　Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” Marriage is not only honorable but even holy. God considers sex not only natural but even holy.
　Dr. Meyer, a co-worker of D. L. Moody, wrote many good books on edification. He once said, “Only the most filthy mind would consider sex as something filthy.” I think this was well said. Man injects filthy thoughts into sex because he himself is filthy. To the clean everything is clean. To the defiled everything is defiled. Because man’s mind is defiled, his thoughts also become defiled. We need to realize that marriage is clean. A God-ordained sex relationship is holy, clean, and undefiled.
　In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul said that in later times, there would be the teachings of demons, one of which is the forbidding of marriage. Here we see that even demonic teachings pursue holiness. G. H. Pember pointed out clearly in his writing how men would forbid marriage in the pursuit of holiness. They thought that this would make them holy. However, in his Epistle to Timothy, Paul told us that forbidding marriage is a doctrine of the demons. God has never forbidden marriage.
　No one should be condemned unnecessarily in his conscience because of heathen religious teachings. The consciousness of sex is something natural and is not sin. It is only when one begins to deal with this consciousness that the possibility of it becoming a sin arises. It is not a question of the presence of this consciousness; the presence of this consciousness is natural and is not sin. It is the way a person deals with this consciousness that determines whether or not it is sin. This matter needs to be thoroughly cleared up. Otherwise a person’s conscience will be condemned, and he will not grow. This feeling of guilt is, in fact, not sin at all but the result of ignorance.
　
Ⅱ
　
BASIC ELEMENTS OF A MARRIAGE
　
A
　
Rendering Mutual Help
　Marriage is ordained by God. In Genesis God said that it was not good for man to be alone. God said “good” to everything that He created. With the exception of the second day, God proclaimed that what He had created was good. God did not say that “it was good” on the second day, because the firmament was the place of Satan. Moreover, on the sixth day, God did not say that “it was good”; in fact, He even said that something was not good after He created man. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). This is not to suggest that man was not created well. It means only that it was not good because there was just one man. Only half of man was created.
　God created a help meet for Adam on the sixth day. Eve was also made on the sixth day, and she was brought by God to Adam. She was made for the purpose of marriage. The words help meet mean “meet to help.” This word in Hebrew means “someone that matches, someone that renders help.”
　In considering Genesis 2:18, many Bible readers think that when God created man, He created a male plus a female. However, the Bible says only that God created man. His creation of man was His creation of male and female. The male and female made a complete man. It was as if God created half of a man in the beginning and then the other half after seeing that this man was only one-half. The two halves were joined together to become one. Only when the two halves were joined together was man complete. This is why God did not say that “it was good” until Eve was made. This shows us that marriage is not initiated by man but by God. The institution of marriage did not come after man’s fall but before it. Man did not sin on the first day of his creation; he was married on the first day of his creation. On the same day that God created Eve, He gave her to Adam. This is not something that happened after man sinned. Marriage is something initiated by God.
　In Genesis 2 we see marriage in God’s creation. In John 2, at the beginning of the Lord Jesus’ ministry, there was also a wedding in Cana. During that wedding the Lord Jesus changed the water into wine. This shows that the Lord not only allowed marriage but even approved and endorsed it. The Lord Jesus not only attended the wedding but even enhanced it and made it better. It is clear that marriage was initiated by God and particularly approved by the Lord Jesus. Therefore, it is something entirely of God.
　Here we see the place of marriage before God. God’s purpose is to have a husband and a wife, who will mutually help each other. Thus, He called Adam’s wife a help meet. Help meet in Hebrew means someone who is meet to help. Here we find that God wants man to live in a corporate way, to have mutual fellowship, and to render mutual help. This is God’s purpose.
　
B
　
Preventing Sin
　In the Old Testament God instituted marriage before sin came into the world. In the New Testament, Paul said that marriage not only is allowed but also is a necessity because of the presence of sin (1 Cor. 7).
　Marriage can prevent sin. This is why Paul said that men should have their own wives and women should have their own husbands. This is to prevent the sin of fornication (v. 2). Paul did not condemn the consciousness of sex as sin. On the contrary, he showed us that both the male and the female should marry in order to prevent sin.
　Paul said that we should make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). If a man constantly committed the sin of pride, Paul could not have said, “Since you always commit the sin of pride, you can be proud at home so that you will not be proud elsewhere! If you exercise your pride in one place, perhaps you will not exercise it elsewhere.” Saying this would have been to make “provision for the flesh.” God would never agree with his pride or my making some arrangement for him to exercise his pride. Consider a man who loves to steal. You should not say, “Since you like to steal, I will allow you to steal the things which belong to Brother So-and-so so that you will not steal from others.” You should not say this; instead, you need to say, “You cannot steal at all.” Stealing is definitely a sin, and we should not make any provision for it. Pride is definitely a sin as well, and we cannot make provision for it either. But sex is not a sin in an absolute sense. This is why men should have their own wives, and women should have their own husbands. If we do not understand this, we may think that Paul’s word was making provision for the flesh. But we know that the apostle did not make provision for the flesh. Therefore, we cannot consider marriage to be a sin. Marriage is not God’s provision for the flesh. We want to hold marriage on a high plane. It is something holy and ordained by God Himself.
　Marriage is necessary because sin has entered. Marriage can prevent sin. This is not to make provision for the flesh. There is a clear difference.
　In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul spoke about marriage. He began by saying that a wife does not have authority over her own body, and a husband does not have authority over his own body (v. 4). Paul’s teaching is quite clear. Except for the purpose of devoting themselves to the service of the Lord, the husband and the wife should not be separated. This prevents fornication (v. 5). In order to prevent fornication, God ordains that male and female should marry and not be separated.
　Paul used strong words to speak of those who have a compelling desire for sex. He said that they should marry in order to avoid burning with desire (v. 9). He did not reprimand such persons. Paul did not say, “You are wrong to have such a strong desire. You have sinned in having such a strong desire. Therefore, you have to make some provision for your flesh.” Instead, he said, “If you have a strong desire, you should marry. It is better to marry than to live with such a strong desire.” The Word of God is very clear concerning this. The consciousness of sex is not a sin. Even a strong sex urge is not a sin. But God has ordained that those who have a strong consciousness of sex should marry. They should not abstain from marriage on the one hand and fall into sin on the other hand. This is what the Lord has shown us.
　The institution of marriage has a New Testament aspect and an Old Testament aspect. The Old Testament shows us that marriage provides help that is meet. The New Testament says that it is instituted to prevent sin. One aspect of the Christian marriage today is mutual help, and the other aspect is the prevention of sin.
　
C
　
Inheriting Grace Together
　There is a third aspect. In his first Epistle, Peter said that the wives are “fellow heirs of the grace of life” (3:7). In other words, God delights to see husbands and wives serving Him together. God delighted to see Aquila and Prisca serving Him. He delighted to see Peter and his wife, Judah and his wife, serving Him together.
　Therefore, there are three basic elements of a Christian marriage. First, there is mutual help; second, there is the prevention of sin; and third, there is the joint inheritance of grace of two persons in the presence of God. One should not be a Christian alone but a Christian together with another person. One should not inherit grace alone but together with another person.
　
Ⅲ
　
THE QUESTION OF VIRGINITY
　The Bible also shows us that even though there is the consciousness of sex, this consciousness is not very strong with some people, and so there is no need for such a one to fulfill this need. The Bible advises such persons to keep their virginity.
　
A
　
The Benefits of Keeping One’s Virginity
　Virginity does not make one more holy spiritually. However, a virgin can surely devote all his or her physical energy to the Lord’s work. This also is spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7.
　Paul shows us that there are three problems in marriage. First, marriage is a bondage. He says, “Have you been bound to a wife?” (v. 27). Often, a person is not free after he is married; once he is married he becomes occupied with many things. He is bound by his wife and has to take care of many things. Second, those who are married have affliction. Paul said, “But such ones will have affliction in the flesh” (v. 28). When a person is married, the affliction in the flesh increases, and it is hard for him to serve the Lord with a single heart. Third, those who are married care for the things of the world (vv. 32-34). In Matthew 13 the Lord indicates that these cares are like thorns which can easily choke the growth of the seed. The result can be barrenness (v. 22). In short, marriage brings in family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and anxiety.
　Paul’s words are not only for the co-workers but also for all the brothers and sisters. A person who keeps his virginity can be spared many difficulties. Paul did not command these ones to keep their virginity, but his words show his inclination toward this choice. Paul did not have any opinion of his own; he was merely telling the brothers the facts. Marriage is good, and it prevents the danger of sinning. But marriage also brings a person into family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and the anxieties of this world.
　
B
　
The Type of Person Who Can Keep His Virginity
　Following this, Paul shows us the type of person who can keep his virginity. He said some have the gift from God to keep their virginity. It is a gift from God to keep one’s virginity. One person receives one kind of gift from God. Another person receives another kind of gift from God. If I need to marry, marriage is a gift from God; it takes a gift from God to marry. This is why Paul said, “But each has his own gift from God, one in this way, the other in that” (1 Cor. 7:7). Those who keep their virginity have the gift of God, and also those who are married have the gift of God.
　The first condition for keeping one’s virginity is that a person have only sex consciousness but no sex compulsion. Some people have the compulsion of sex. Others have only the consciousness of sex but not the compulsion. Only those who do not have a compulsion for sex can keep their virginity.
　Second, a person must have the desire to remain single and must be firm in his heart. Verses 36 and 37 say, “But if any one think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be, let him do what he will, he does not sin: let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well” (New Translation, J. N. Darby). Paul shows us that to keep one’s virginity, the person must have the intention and willingness to keep it. If anyone thinks that it is wrong to keep his virginity, he can marry. If a person has the intention and the inclination to remain single, and if he is firm in his heart to keep his virginity, he can keep it. Hence, firmness in heart is a necessary requirement.
　Third, such a decision must not be in conflict with one’s circumstances. Verse 37 says, “Having no need.” Some have special considerations in their circumstances, and it is not easy for them to keep their virginity. Some may create many problems with their family if they keep their virginity. Hence, there must be the environmental provision before one can keep his virginity.
　Paul shows us the three basic conditions for keeping one’s virginity: They are (1) having no compulsion, (2) standing firm in one’s heart, and (3) not creating problems in one’s environment. Only when one meets all three conditions can he keep his virginity.
　
C
　
Virginity Being Related to the Kingdom of the Heavens and to Rapture
　Those who keep their virginity have much to gain before the Lord. Matthew 19 clearly shows that it is easier for a virgin to enter the kingdom of the heavens. We have to acknowledge that “there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of the heavens.” Matthew 19 clearly speaks of the relationship between virginity and the kingdom of the heavens. We dare not say specifically what relationship there is between virginity and the kingdom of the heavens. However, we can say that keeping one’s virginity definitely has its advantage in entering the kingdom of the heavens. The Lord tells us here that there are some who made themselves eunuchs, who keep their virginity for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens.
　This is not all. Revelation 14 shows us that the firstfruits (the hundred and forty-four thousand) are virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever He may go. These hundred and forty-four thousand are the early raptured ones. Virginity definitely has something to do with rapture. We will find one day that virgins have a clear advantage in entering the kingdom of the heavens and in being raptured. What about today? Paul said that keeping one’s virginity indeed reduces afflictions and enables a person to serve God well.
　We can only present these facts to the brothers and sisters. Only those who do not have a compulsion for sex, who are firm in their heart, and who find adequate provisions in their environment can keep their virginity. We are presenting this matter in an objective and biblical way before the brothers and sisters. Everyone should make his or her own choice before the Lord.
　
Ⅳ
　
MARRIAGE PARTNERS
　Concerning the matter of marriage, God has laid down definite guidelines on whom one can marry and whom one cannot marry. The Bible shows us clearly that the marriages of God’s people should be restricted to those among themselves only. In other words, if one is to be married, his spouse must be sought from among God’s own people, not from other people.
　
A
　
The Old Testament Commandments
　There are sufficient commandments in the Old Testament to show us that we should not marry anyone outside of God’s people.
　Deuteronomy 7:3-4 says that the Israelites should not marry the Canaanites. They should neither give their daughters to the Canaanites’ sons, nor take their daughters for their sons, because the Canaanites would turn them from following the Lord and would seduce them to serve other gods. God clearly shows through the Old Testament that one should look for a marriage partner among the Lord’s people. One cannot look for a wife or a husband among unbelievers. The greatest problem with going after unbelievers is that the other person may turn one away from the Lord to serve other gods. It is easy for wives to follow their husbands to worship idols. It is also easy for husbands to follow their wives to worship idols. Since both are married, it is very easy for one to follow the other to worship other gods.
　Joshua 23:12-13 warns the Israelites against marrying the people of the land. They were warned that the latter would become snares and thorns in their eyes. Their wives or their husbands would become their thorns, and they would be ensnared.
　At the time of Nehemiah, the Israelites returned from captivity to the land of Judah. Many had married Gentile wives and could not speak the Hebrew language. Nehemiah charged them in 13:23-27 to sever all ties with the Gentile women and not to have any dealings with them. Here we see a basic problem in marrying a Gentile woman: Sooner or later the children will follow the mother and not follow the father to serve God. If you marry a Gentile, your children will easily follow your Gentile partner and go into the world. This is quite a problem.
　Malachi 2:11 shows us that the Israelites committed treacherous sins and profaned the holiness of God because they took Gentiles to be their wives. In God’s sight, marrying a Gentile woman is to profane the holiness of God. Hence, Christians should look for marriage partners only among the believers.
　We can also take warnings from the failure of Solomon. Solomon was the wisest king, yet he fell into idolatry through marrying Gentile women.
　
B
　
In the New Testament
　Paul’s word in the New Testament is clear enough. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, he told the widows to marry those who were in the Lord.
　Second Corinthians 6:14 is a well-known portion of the Bible. It says that believers and unbelievers should not share the same yoke. These words do not refer to only marriage. But they certainly speak also of marriage. Believers and unbelievers should not be engaged in the same business; they should not join themselves in one goal, like two animals plowing the field with one yoke. God does not allow this. He does not allow a believer and an unbeliever to bear the same yoke. In the Old Testament, an ox and a horse could not be yoked together, and an ass could not be equally yoked with a horse. You cannot have one that is fast and another that is slow. It is impossible to have one going one direction and the other going another direction, or one turning to heaven and the other turning to the world. You cannot have one seeking after spiritual blessings and the other seeking after worldly riches. It is impossible for one to pull in one direction and the other to pull in the other direction. If you do, the yoke will break.
　Of all unequally yoked relationships, none is more serious than the marriage relationship. One may be unequally yoked with others in business ventures or in other things. But no yoke is more severe than the marriage yoke. When a believer and an unbeliever share the responsibility of a family together, the result will be nothing but problems. The ideal marriage partner is a brother or a sister. Never choose an unbeliever capriciously. If you pick out an unbeliever carelessly, you will surely encounter problems later. One will be pulling to one side, and the other will be pulling to the other side. One will turn to heaven, and the other will turn to the world. One will seek a heavenly gift, and the other will seek worldly riches. The difference between the two is tremendous. This is why the Bible charges us to marry those in the Lord.
　
Ⅴ
　
IF MARRIED TO AN UNBELIEVER
　But here is a problem: Suppose a brother is already married to an unbeliever, or a sister is already married to an unbelieving husband. What should they do? We mentioned earlier that a single person should seek a partner who is in the Lord. However, there are some who are already married. They already have an unbelieving wife or an unbelieving husband. What should they do?
　
A
　
If He Wants to Go Away
　First Corinthians 7 has something to say about this matter. Verses 12, 13, and 15 address this point. They tell us what to do when a dispute arises in a family that has only one member who is a Christian. Please bear in mind that many such families today complain little, simply because the believers in these families are not absolute enough. The Lord Jesus predicted in the Gospels that there would be much contention within the family. If a believer is absolute, there is bound to be contention in the family. There are cases of “three against two and two against three,” as in Luke 12:52, because some family members have become believers. Suppose a husband leaves his wife because she has believed in the Lord. Suppose he says, “You have believed in the Lord; I do not want you anymore.” What should the wife do? The Lord’s word in 1 Corinthians 7 is clear enough: “Let him separate” (v. 15). Therefore, if a husband wants to separate because the wife has believed in the Lord, or vice versa, the word is, “Let him separate.”
　However, one thing must be clear: You must not be the one who initiates the separation. You must not be the one who asks for the separation. The other party must be the one who asks for it. He is the one who is not happy with your faith in the Lord. He is the one who thinks that there is no future with you now that you have believed in the Lord. It is he who wants to go. If he wants to separate, “Let him separate.”
　
B
　
If He Does Not Care, the Lord Will Save Him
　Paul said that there is no need to separate if the other party does not care. How do you know that the Lord will not save him through you? If he does not care and wants to continue living with you, Paul said that you should be at peace with him and should not leave. He said that an unbeliever can be sanctified through a believer. He said also, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” (v. 16). If the other party wants to leave, that is his concern, not yours. But if he does not want to leave, you have to believe that the Lord will save him. Paul said that it would be easy for him to be saved. It may not be that easy for the Lord to save others, but it would surely be easy for the Lord to save one who is already yours. We need to deal with this matter by taking such a stand.
　
Ⅵ
　
WHAT TO DO IF ENGAGED TO AN UNBELIEVER
　Some brothers and sisters have another problem: They are engaged to unbelievers. What should they do?
　
A
　
It Being Best for the Unbelieving Side to Take the Initiative in Breaking the Engagement
　It is clear that the Lord does not want us to marry unbelievers. If someone is already engaged to an unbeliever, the best thing would be for the unbelieving fiancé or fiancée to voluntarily break the engagement. The two are not yet married; they only have an agreement to marry. If the Lord opens the way for the unbelieving side to voluntarily break the agreement because the other one has believed in the Lord, that is the best solution.
　
B
　
Not Annulling Any Agreement Arbitrarily
　However, it is often impossible to have such a solution. Because a marriage agreement exists, the other party may not easily let go just because you have believed in the Lord. At such times, you need to realize that an engagement to a person is a covenant with that person. Such a covenant is a promise you have made before God. A Christian cannot arbitrarily annul a covenant just because he has believed in the Lord. Any covenant is holy in the eyes of God. You can suggest a dissolution to the other party. The other party can initiate such a dissolution, or you can initiate it. The proposal need not be initiated by the other party. This is different from the earlier case. In the case of a marriage, the other party must initiate it. In the case of an engagement, you can initiate the dissolution of the engagement. If the other party insists that you fulfill the marriage agreement, you have to fulfill it. Once something comes out of the mouth of a Christian, he has to honor it; he cannot annul it arbitrarily. We receive salvation because God honors His word. If God did not honor His word, there would not be any salvation at all. Therefore, you have to negotiate with the other party. If the other party is unwilling to dissolve the relationship, you have to marry him or her.
　Psalm 15:4 says, “Should he swear to his harm, / He does not change.” After the Israelites entered the land of Canaan, the Gibeonites deceived them with dry, moldy bread, old patched shoes, and worn garments. They said that they came from a far country, and Joshua promised not to kill them. Later, he found out that they were actually from a near country. Because a covenant had been made with them, God would not allow the Israelites to kill them. At the most, they were made woodcutters and drawers of water (Josh. 9:3-27). Honoring one’s covenant is a serious matter in the Bible. It is all right for you to annul an engagement only if the other party is willing to annul it. But if the other party is not willing to annul it, you cannot annul it. The covenant with the Gibeonites produced serious consequences. Rain was withheld from heaven because Saul slaughtered the Gibeonites. David was forced to ask the Gibeonites what he should do for them. The Gibeonites demanded that seven of the sons of Saul be hung, and David had to comply (2 Sam. 21:1-6). God will not allow us to breach a covenant arbitrarily. We must learn to honor any covenant we make. We cannot do anything that is unrighteous.
　
C
　
Negotiating the Terms Beforehand
　You have been engaged to someone, and now you have become a Christian. What should you do if the other party insists on marrying you? Here is something that you can do: Negotiate the terms with him ahead of time. You can say, “I will definitely marry you, but I would like to settle a few matters with you before marriage.” What are the few matters? First, the other party must allow you to serve the Lord. You should not move into the other party’s house with a false disguise; you should move in with an open banner. You are now a Christian. Even though you are marrying the other person, he must give you the liberty to serve the Lord. He must not interfere with your service to the Lord. Second, when you have children, they must be brought up according to the teaching of the Lord. Whether or not the other party becomes a Christian is up to him or her, but the children must be brought up according to the teaching of the Lord. You must settle this from the very beginning. Put this on the table first and have an agreement ahead of time. If you have an agreement, you will not face difficulties later. But if you do not make an agreement beforehand, you will face difficulties down the road. Marrying an unbeliever is always a loss. But you can minimize the loss and the headaches by coming to an agreement first. The other party must agree to give you the freedom to lead your children to the Lord. You have become a Christian. You will not go to the world. You will always be on the Lord’s side. If the other party is agreeable to this, you can proceed with the marriage. If the other party does not like it, he can annul the agreement. We need to inform the other party about our future commitment. This will tend to reduce the problems that will eventually come.
　
Ⅶ
　
IF ONE NEEDS TO BE MARRIED YET CANNOT FIND A BELIEVER
　This is a real problem; it is not an imaginary one. But we can only say that there is no teaching in the Bible concerning this matter. However, we need to touch Paul’s heart. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul wished that the widows would remain single if possible. But then, he also wished that the widows would marry those who are in the Lord (v. 39). Therefore, widows can remarry if there is the need. According to this principle, we can say that the best thing for a brother to do is to marry a sister in the Lord. If it is not possible to do this, it is best if he does not marry at all. However, if he must marry, we still would be happy to see him marry. Even if the other party is an unbeliever, we still would like to see him marry.
　When we say this, we are not advocating, as the world says, “Choose the lesser of two evils.” We are saying that we would rather see a person commit a sin against God’s government rather than a moral sin. If by not marrying I fall into sin, I commit a moral sin. If I marry an unbelieving woman, I commit a sin against God’s government. There are two types of sin; one is moral sin, and the other is sin against God’s government. Please bear in mind that moral sin is more serious than sin against God’s government. If a brother needs to marry and he cannot find a sister, the best thing for him to do is stay single. But if he must marry, we should let him marry even if it means marrying an unbeliever.
　If you marry an unbeliever, you need to have your eyes open and realize that serious problems lie ahead. It is particularly hard for a believer to marry an unbeliever. The hardship is greater than that of an unbelieving couple in which one becomes a believer. A husband or wife who becomes a believer after being married may encounter hardship, but many times the Lord will bring him through. However, a believer who marries an unbeliever will face many difficulties. We need to warn him ahead of time, and he needs to open his eyes to the hardships ahead.
　If a person marries an unbeliever, we must warn him of another thing: He should be careful not to be carried away. He has to remember that he is marrying an unbeliever, and if he is careless, he will be easily led away. Of course, those who are married or engaged have to be careful as well, but those who are considering marriage should exercise even more care. In other words, they need special protection, preservation, and prayer, so that they will not be carried away by the other party.
　If you have no choice but to marry an unbeliever, you must also lay down the terms clearly beforehand. You need to tell the unbeliever, “I have already believed in the Lord. I will not force you to believe, but you cannot interfere with my faith. You must give me absolute freedom in this respect.” You need also to bring up the question of children. “You must give me the freedom to lead our children to the Lord. I want my children to believe in the Lord. I do not want them to worship idols or to be conformed to the world.” If you emphasize this point enough, perhaps you can get by with this issue.
　I will speak a few words to the more mature brothers and sisters. When you see a new believer struggling with such a problem, you must be very careful. Do not open the door too wide. Do not allow him to arbitrarily marry an unbeliever. On the other hand, do not close the door too tightly. Do not keep him away from governmental sin while exposing him to moral sin. It is better to let someone fall into God’s governmental hand than to let him fall into moral sin.
　I have something more to say about this. We have many young brothers and sisters in every locality. Most of the problems in finding a spouse arise when too many saints have too many expectations concerning the background and status of others. A brother who has a higher social status does not want to marry a sister with a lower status, and the reverse is also true. Today there is no lack of brothers and no lack of sisters. But the question of status has caused many problems. I think this question would be easily solved if the brothers and sisters would change their concept about occupation. It would be easy for sisters to marry if they did not belittle brothers who are farmers. It would also be easy for brothers to marry if they did not belittle sisters who are farmers. Today we look down upon occupations which God honors and exalt occupations which men worship. This is what makes things complicated. Today we have no lack of sisters and brothers, but we do not have many matching pairs according to status. Since the matter of status is a worldly consideration, we need to have a complete turn in our concept concerning occupation in order to solve this problem.
　[* Editor's Note: Watchman Nee dealt with the matter of concubines because of the problem at this point in China’s history.]
　In the Bible there is no command telling man to separate himself from his concubine. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask man to send his concubine away. I am talking about concubines whom one took before he believed in the Lord. In the Bible I think there is sufficient indication of how God wants man to take care of concubines.
　Perhaps we should look first at man’s demand before considering the Bible’s demand. Man’s immediate thought is to send away all his concubines. If the concubine cannot be sent away, man’s thought is for the husband to discontinue sexual relationships with her. This is a human concept, and unfortunately many brothers and sisters hold this concept. But this is not God’s revelation; it is in fact a heathen thought.
　
A
　
The Bible Never Demanding That Concubines Be Sent Away
　In the Bible no one took a concubine in a worse way than David. He not only took a concubine but even committed murder in taking that concubine. Uriah died because of his wife. David sacrificed Uriah to gain Bath-sheba. Solomon was born of Bath-sheba, and so was the Lord Jesus Himself. The Lord acknowledges this fact in the New Testament. Matthew 1 tells us about four women. Bath-sheba is included and is spoken of as the wife of Uriah. We must be clear about this fact: Those who have taken concubines should submit to God’s disciplining hand; they should never chase their concubines away.
　Why does the Bible not demand that the concubine be sent away? Please bear in mind that the sin of fornication and that of taking a concubine are two completely different things. If I steal a Bible today, I can return another Bible tomorrow. If I steal one thousand dollars today, I can return one thousand dollars tomorrow. But if I take a concubine today, I have no way to return her.
　Some brothers think that all concubines should be sent away. This is a consideration from the male’s point of view. All males should know that in God’s eyes taking a concubine is equal to committing adultery. However, on the side of the concubine, when she marries a male, she is not married to two husbands. The male is married to two women, but the concubine is not married to two husbands. We have to see that the Lord never asks the man to send his concubine away.
　I think the principle behind Solomon’s mother is very clear. The Lord sent Nathan the prophet purposely to David after David married Bath-sheba. Everything the Lord needs to say concerning this subject has already been said through Nathan; there is no need for you to add anything to his word. Even if Nathan had missed anything, there would still be no need for you or I to add a footnote to the subject three thousand years later. Nathan told David that his son would surely die, and judgment would come to him. Others would commit fornication with his wives in the sight of the sun, and the sword would never depart from his house (2 Sam. 12:7-14). Nathan did not ask David to send Bath-sheba away. If he were to send her away, what would she do? Uriah was already dead. Some are without their Uriah today, while the Uriah of others is dead. What should they do? When God sent Nathan to David, He did not ask David to chase Bath-sheba away. In fact, God later caused her to give birth to Solomon (v. 24). God did not cause any of the wives of David to give birth to Solomon. He caused David’s concubine, Bath-sheba, to give birth to Solomon. Moreover, the first page of the New Testament says, “And David begot Solomon of her who had been the wife of Uriah” (Matt. 1:6). The New Testament does not say that one can take a concubine. But it does not say that one needs to chase his concubine away either.
　
B
　
Her Duty of Marriage Not Being Diminished
　Exodus 21:9-11 specifies that if a master betroths a maid to his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. If the son properly marries another later, the maid will become a concubine. God’s ordination is clear: Her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage shall he not diminish. If he does not do these three things to her, she shall go out free and be a slave no more. Thus, if anyone thinks that he cannot have intercourse with his concubine, he is not keeping the law of God. I hope that you can be clear about this matter.
　
C
　
Such a One Not to Be an Elder
　There is only one portion of the Word that addresses the matter of concubines in the New Testament. In reading the Bible, we love to see a certain matter that is mentioned only once. If a certain matter is mentioned twice, we have to make a comparison. If it is mentioned three or more times, we need to integrate the different portions before we can arrive at a conclusion about God’s teaching. This is why every Bible student loves single-incident injunctions, because one needs to refer to only one case in order to know God’s will. There is only one portion in the New Testament—1 Timothy—that only indirectly refers to the matter of concubines. There it says that an overseer must be the husband of one wife. This means that all who have concubines cannot be elders in the church. However, the New Testament does not say that such a one should send his concubine away or abstain from fulfilling her duty of marriage.
　
D
　
The Best Arrangement— the Concubine Being Saved and Deciding to Separate Voluntarily
　If a concubine is saved and has no compulsion for continued sexual relationships, it is good if she is willing to separate from the husband. But this is something voluntary; it is not a commandment of the Lord nor a commandment of the church. The church should not demand anything concerning this matter.
　God has put only two together, and this principle should be maintained. It is quite obvious that a person who takes a concubine will suffer more affliction in the body than one who upholds monogamy. This one will naturally experience more discipline from the Lord.
　
Ⅸ
　
DIVORCE
　The Bible speaks of divorce, but divorce is sanctioned by the Scripture under only one condition. There are many ordinances regarding divorce among the nations of the world. Some countries have more than twenty ordinances on the subject. The Chinese also have many ordinances. For example, if either party is mentally unsound or if there is incompatibility of any kind, the couple can divorce each other. But the Bible gives only one condition for divorce—adultery. Factors such as mental instability or prolonged separation do not constitute legitimate reasons for divorce. The only reason for a divorce is extramarital sexual conduct. In Matthew 19 and Luke 16 the Lord Jesus shows us clearly that divorce is permitted only if adultery is involved.
　
A
　
What God Has Joined Together, Man Should Not Separate
　Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because man should not separate what God has joined together. In other words, the husband and wife are one in the sight of God. All divorces violate this oneness. What is adultery? It is the destruction of that oneness. If you commit sexual acts with someone other than your wife or your husband, you have committed adultery and have violated that oneness. A wife or a husband may be missing for years or may be mentally sick. There may be psychological harassment or other factors involved, but if one party turns away and marries someone else, he is breaking the oneness and has committed adultery in reality.
　
B
　
One Being Allowed to Separate Only When the Oneness Is Broken
　Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because the oneness has already been broken. Originally, the wife was one with her husband. When the husband commits adultery, she becomes free. When the oneness was there, she had to preserve it. Now that the oneness has been broken by the husband, the wife is free. Thus, adultery is the only condition for divorce. A wife can leave her husband if he has committed adultery. If a sister finds her husband committing adultery or taking another woman, she can divorce her husband, and the church cannot stop her. She can divorce her husband, and she can remarry. Anything that destroys the oneness is sin. A person can leave his or her spouse only where adultery is involved, because adultery has destroyed the oneness. Divorce is but a declaration that the oneness between a husband and a wife is gone. Since the oneness is gone, one can remarry.
　Matthew 19 and Luke 16 are two clear passages concerning this subject, and we have to pay much attention to them. Divorce is based on adultery. Adultery breaks the original oneness between a husband and a wife. The two are no longer one, but have become two. Therefore, they can divorce. They can divorce each other because there is no more oneness between them. Actually a divorce has already occurred when one party commits adultery; it does not begin with the divorce proceedings. The so-called divorce proceedings are but a procedure. Marriage begins with the declaration of oneness, and divorce is a declaration that such a oneness no longer exists. This is why divorce is permitted where adultery is found. A divorce that is not based on adultery means that both parties are committing adultery. Suppose neither a husband nor a wife has committed adultery. They cannot have a divorce even if they cannot get along with each other. Once they divorce each other, they have committed adultery. If the oneness has not yet been broken when one tries to remarry, he or she is in reality committing adultery. Only when the oneness no longer exists can a person remarry.
　We need to know what marriage is. Marriage means oneness; it means that two persons are no longer two, but one flesh. Adultery destroys this oneness, while divorce is but an announcement of the destruction of this oneness. Today if the oneness is gone between two persons, a remarriage is justified. But suppose the oneness is still there. The two may quarrel bitterly, they may not get along with each other, and they may threaten to divorce each other. The world and civic laws may even allow them to divorce each other. But in God’s eyes, the two still cannot divorce each other. If they divorce each other, they have committed adultery in reality. Divorce is allowed only where adultery has already occurred. We must see that no one can separate what God has joined together. Since there is already a union, one must never try to break it for any reason at all.
　
Ⅹ
　
WIDOWS
　The Bible allows widows and widowers to remarry for the same reason. Marriage is something that lasts till death. In resurrection there is no marriage relationship. In resurrection men neither marry nor are given in marriage (Matt. 22:30). Marrying and being given in marriage are things of this world. The angels neither marry nor are given in marriage. Resurrected men likewise neither marry nor are given in marriage. Marriage is a thing of this age, not of the next age. Therefore, marriage ends with death. After one’s partner dies, he or she may remain unmarried for the sake of cherished affection. But the Bible says nothing to forbid him or her from remarrying someone else.
　Consider the teaching in Romans 7 which says that every Christian is a remarried person. We were remarried through the death and resurrection of Christ. Romans 7 shows us that a wife is bound by the law to her husband as long as he is alive. After the husband dies, the wife can marry another man. Whoever marries another man while her husband is alive is an adulteress. If we are not yet dead to the law or if we are Seventh-day Adventists, yet we are married to Christ, all of us are adulteresses. Thank God, we have only one husband. The Seventh-day Adventists have two husbands. Romans 7 says that we could not belong to Christ as long as the law was still alive; if we had belonged to Christ then, we would have been adulteresses. We were originally married to the law, and we belonged to the law. However, we have died through Christ. Today, when we turn to Christ, we are not adulteresses. All of us have been remarried to Christ. We are dead to the law, and we are not adulteresses. Romans 7 tells us that a wife is bound to her husband until his death. After the husband dies, the wife is free. It is wrong for anyone in the church to think that widows should not remarry. This is a heathen concept.
　It is all right if a widow wants to remain single like a virgin. Paul said, “It is good for them if they remain even as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8). To live alone like a virgin for the sake of serving the Lord is right, but to remain unmarried because of criticism and social pressure is wrong. I hope that this concept can be removed from the church.
　Paul told Timothy, “I will therefore that younger widows marry” (1 Tim. 5:14). The same applies to widowers. Today the issue is whether or not one has the need for marriage. Some have a physiological need. Others have a psychological need; they would feel lonely if they did not marry again. Some have a need because of their family. It is all right for a brother or a sister to remarry after his or her spouse has died. No Christian should criticize another on this matter. We need to eradicate all heathen concepts from our mind.
　
Ⅺ
　
ON COMMITTING SIN
　In the Bible God acknowledges the validity of sex. There is nothing wrong with the consciousness of sex or sex itself. The consciousness of sex is not sin; in fact, it is holy. However, this is true only within the context of a marriage. In a marriage, sex is good and holy. But any sexual consciousness or sexual act outside the bounds of oneness is sin. Have you seen the difference? What is sin? It is sex outside of marriage. Why? Because sex outside of marriage is a breach of the oneness of a marriage. Therefore, sex is a sin only when it destroys the oneness. Sex has nothing to do with sin when it is sex alone. Sex itself is not sinful. We must see this clearly before the Lord.
　In Matthew 5:28 the Lord Jesus said, “But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The word looks here involves the will. It is not just seeing a woman but looking at her. Seeing is passive, while looking is active. This looking is followed by the phrase in order to lust after her. It is not a passing lustful thought that comes to one’s mind when he sees a woman, but a look at a woman that is for the purpose of lusting after her. Lusting comes first, and then looking. This look is the second look, not the first look. The first look is a random look at a woman on the street. The second look is to actually look at her. Between the first look and the second look, a lustful thought has come in. The second look is therefore for the purpose of lusting after a woman. The second look is the third step in the process. The Lord Jesus is not talking about the first look, but the look which is the third step. When some see a woman on the street, they do not control themselves and lust after her. Satan injects lustful thoughts into men, and they turn and look the second time. The second look is sin. Sin is having lustful thoughts and looking at someone the second time.
　Matthew 5 says that everyone who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The Lord Jesus is not referring to the first look. It is wrong to involve the first look in this discussion. Suppose I see a woman on the street by accident. Satan may inject lustful thoughts into me. If I reject them, that is the end of it. But if I turn and look at her again, that is sin. Please bear in mind that the consciousness of sex is not sin. It becomes sin only when there is the consent of the will. When such a consent of the will happens outside the context of marriage, the oneness is destroyed by the will. It is sin to destroy the oneness in one’s conduct. In God’s eyes, it is sin also to destroy the oneness in one’s will.
　In the Old Testament, only adultery is spoken of as sin; fornication is not mentioned as sin. The Old Testament forbids only adultery, because man did not have enough knowledge of himself yet. What is adultery? Adultery is sin committed by those who are married. What is fornication? Fornication is sin committed by those who are not married. The act is the same, but the sin is not the same. We can say that a prostitute commits only fornication, but not adultery, because she is not married. We have to realize that God does not want man to commit fornication. The Old Testament speaks only of the sin of those who are married; it does not speak of those who are not married. It does not mean that there is no such thing in the Old Testament, but the term is not there. Here we see that the act that destroys oneness—adultery—is sin. But the act that does not destroy oneness—fornication—is sin as well.
　We need to see that adultery is sin and that fornication is also sin. To destroy the oneness of the married ones is sin. Fornication, which happens to those who are not married and which seemingly does not destroy oneness is also sin. Christians should not commit adultery; neither should they commit fornication. We must see that sex is holy; sex consciousness is not a sin. Sex within marriage is holy and is not a sin. But if you are married and have sex outside of marriage, that is adultery. If you are not married but have sex, that is fornication. As believers we must not commit adultery, and we must not commit fornication.
 
　　一个基督徒要作得好，必须把所有基本的问题，都好好的对付过。如果有一个基本的问题，不管是在家庭里，或是在职业里，没有对付好，下面就有许多的问题出来。只要有一个难处，就够叫基督徒受到耽搁，不能在神面前走正直的路。

　　今天要说到婚姻的问题。初信的弟兄应该知道，主的话对于他们的婚姻到底怎么说。我们要从各方面来看这一个问题。
 
　In order to be a good Christian, one needs to deal with all the basic issues in a thorough way. If there is one basic issue that is not settled, whether it be the family or one’s occupation, problems will eventually come back. As long as there is one unresolved issue, a Christian will not be able to take a straight path before the Lord.

　Today we will cover the subject of marriage. A new believer should know what God’s Word has to say about marriage. We need to consider this subject from various angles.
　　关于婚姻的问题，第一个要解决的，就是性的感觉的问题。我想我们必须清楚，人有性的感觉，像人有饥饿的感觉一样。饥饿的感觉如果是身体天然的要求，性的感觉也同样是身体天然的要求。一个人有饥饿的感觉，乃是自然的，并不是罪。一个人想去偷着吃，那是罪，那不是自然的。照样，人有性的感觉也是自然的，并不是罪。乃是人用不正当地方法来满足自己的要求，那就要落到罪里去。

　　我们要看见，人的婚姻乃是神所定规的，乃是神所开始的。所以性的感觉是神给人的。婚姻的规定，不是在犯罪之后的事，乃是在犯罪之前的事。婚姻的规定，不是在创世记三章之后的事，乃是在创世记三章之前的事。在创世记二章里，神就规定了。所以，性的感觉的产生，乃是在罪还没有进入世界之前就有的，不是在罪进入世界之后才有的。因此，人有性的感觉，绝不是罪。在这一个感觉的里面，没有罪的成分。并且，这一个感觉乃是神自己所创造的。

　　这一点，初信的弟兄们必须弄清楚。我在这三十年相信主和事奉主的过程中，曾接触过许多青年弟兄姊妹。我遇到许多的人，在婚姻问题上受到搅扰。他们因为不知道神的定规，不清楚神的话，就无谓的受到良心的控告。他们有这一个感觉，就以为是有罪。他们有这一个要求，就以为是有罪。有的弟兄弄到严重的地步，甚至疑惑神的工作，只因为他有性的感觉。要知道，以性为罪的思想，是异教的思想。我们对于神的话要看得准。人觉得肚子饿不是罪，照样，人有性的需要也不是罪，这是天然的感觉。

　　希伯来十三章告诉我们说，“婚姻，人人都当尊重。”（4）婚姻不仅是该尊重的，并且是圣洁的。所以我们要看见，神不只认为性是天然的，神也认为性是圣洁的。

　　有一位梅尔博士，是和慕迪同工的，他写了许多书都是最好的。他特别注重造就。他曾说，“只有全世界最污秽的头脑，才以为性是污秽的。”我想，这一句话是最好的。乃是因为人自己污秽的缘故，所以把污秽的思想带到性里面去。人如果是清洁的，就凡事在他身上都是清洁的。人如果是污秽的，就凡事在他身上都是污秽的。因为他的头脑是污秽的，所以什么事情到他身上，他都往污秽里去思想。现在我们要看见，婚姻乃是清洁的。在神所规定的性的关系，乃是圣洁的、清洁的，而不是污秽的。

　　保罗在提前四章一节、三节说到，在末后的时候，要有鬼魔的道理出来。在这些鬼魔的道理当中，有一部分是禁止嫁娶。在这里你们要看见说，鬼魔的道理，也是为着寻求圣洁。彭伯所写的书，曾清楚地指明说，将来有人因追求圣洁，所以禁止嫁娶，以为没有嫁娶就能作一个圣洁的人。但是保罗在提摩太前书里说，禁止嫁娶乃是鬼魔的道理。所以，你们要知道，神没有禁止嫁娶。

　　人不应该因着有异教看法的缘故，良心受无谓的控告。性的感觉，是天然的，不是罪。乃是注意到如何对付这一个感觉的时候，才会发生问题说，到底会不会变作罪。不是没有感觉的存在的问题。有感觉的存在，乃是自然的，不是罪。要看怎样对付这一个感觉，才能说，有没有罪。这一件事要彻底的解决，不然良心有了控告，就不能长进。那些罪不是事实上的罪，乃是因着不明白而产生的。
 
　The first question to address with regard to marriage is the matter of sex. We need to be clear that human beings have an awareness of sex in the same way that they have an awareness of hunger. Just as the consciousness of hunger is a natural demand of the body, the consciousness of sex is also a natural demand of the body. To feel hungry is natural; it is not a sin. But to steal food is sin; that is not natural. Likewise, having a consciousness of sex is natural and is not a sin. But if a person uses improper means to satisfy his demand, he falls into sin.

　Marriage was ordained and initiated by God. Hence, the consciousness of sex also was given by God. Marriage is not something that was instituted after man’s fall; it was there before man sinned. It was not instituted after Genesis 3; rather, God ordained marriage in Genesis 2. Hence, the consciousness of sex existed before, not after, sin entered the world. It is definitely not a sin for a person to have the consciousness of sex. There is no element of sin in this consciousness. Rather, it is a consciousness created by God Himself.

　New believers must be clear concerning this point. I have contacted many young brothers and sisters in the course of my Christian life and service during the past thirty years. Many of them were troubled by the matter of marriage. They were unnecessarily condemned in their conscience because they were ignorant of God’s ordination as well as God’s Word. They had the consciousness and need of marriage, yet they thought that this was sin. Some brothers have fallen into serious doubts about God’s work only because of their consciousness of sex. It is a heathen thought to treat sex as something sinful. We need to be clear about God’s Word. Just as it is not sin for a man to feel hungry, the need for sex is not sinful; it is a natural consciousness.

　Hebrews 13:4 tells us, “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” Marriage is not only honorable but even holy. God considers sex not only natural but even holy.

　Dr. Meyer, a co-worker of D. L. Moody, wrote many good books on edification. He once said, “Only the most filthy mind would consider sex as something filthy.” I think this was well said. Man injects filthy thoughts into sex because he himself is filthy. To the clean everything is clean. To the defiled everything is defiled. Because man’s mind is defiled, his thoughts also become defiled. We need to realize that marriage is clean. A God-ordained sex relationship is holy, clean, and undefiled.

　In 1 Timothy 4:1-3 Paul said that in later times, there would be the teachings of demons, one of which is the forbidding of marriage. Here we see that even demonic teachings pursue holiness. G. H. Pember pointed out clearly in his writing how men would forbid marriage in the pursuit of holiness. They thought that this would make them holy. However, in his Epistle to Timothy, Paul told us that forbidding marriage is a doctrine of the demons. God has never forbidden marriage.

　No one should be condemned unnecessarily in his conscience because of heathen religious teachings. The consciousness of sex is something natural and is not sin. It is only when one begins to deal with this consciousness that the possibility of it becoming a sin arises. It is not a question of the presence of this consciousness; the presence of this consciousness is natural and is not sin. It is the way a person deals with this consciousness that determines whether or not it is sin. This matter needs to be thoroughly cleared up. Otherwise a person’s conscience will be condemned, and he will not grow. This feeling of guilt is, in fact, not sin at all but the result of ignorance.
　　婚姻，乃是神所定规的。在创世记里你就看见，神说一个人独居不好。当神作创造的工的时候，神对所造的一切东西，样样都说好。除了第二天之外，天天祂都说，祂所造的是好的。第二天，因为空中是撒但的地方，神没有说好，其余每一天神所作的都是好的。但是到了第六天，神造人才造一个的时候，神不只没有说好，反而说不好。神说，“那人独居不好。”不是说人造的不好，乃是说人只造了一个，只造了一半，所以说不好。

　　神替亚当造一个配偶，也是在第六天造的。神把夏娃造出来，就带到亚当面前。所以夏娃的产生，乃是为着婚姻。

　　“配偶”这个辞的意思：要把她配上去，才能叫他得着帮助。这个字在希伯来文的意思就是能配他，给他帮助。

　　有许多读圣经的人，常常注意这一句话。当神造人的时候，神在那里需要有男人加上女人。但是圣经说，神造人。所以神造人，乃是造男人也造女人，那才成功作一个人。好像说，神起头的时候，先造一半的人，然后看看人是一半，所以再造一个。两个半个合起来，才成功作一个。两个半个合起来，才是完全的。所以，等夏娃造好之后，才说祂的工作是好的。这给我们看见说，婚姻不是人起头的，乃是神起头的。婚姻的起点，不是在人犯罪之后，乃是远在人犯罪之前。人不是第一天受造就犯罪，人是第一天受造就结婚。神把夏娃造好之后，第一天就带给亚当。这不是犯罪之后的事。婚姻的事，乃是神发起的。

　　在创世记二章神的创造里，有婚姻。到了约翰二章，也就是主耶稣刚出来传道的时候，在迦拿也有婚姻，主耶稣把酒加进去。这就给我们看见，主不只许可这件事，并且称许这件事，嘉许这件事。你在那里看见说，主耶稣不只在人结婚时出席，主并且帮助他作得更好。所以，婚姻这一件事，是神所发起的，也是主耶稣所特别嘉许的。所以这一件事是完全出于神的。

　　在这里，你们就看见婚姻在神面前的地位。神的目的乃是要有一个丈夫，有一个妻子，是能够彼此帮助的，所以称他的妻子作配偶。“配偶，”希伯来文的意思是说，要配他，来帮助他。可以说是“配助。”你们在这里看见说，神要人有一个共同的生活，要彼此有交通，彼此有帮助。这是神的目的。
 
　Marriage is ordained by God. In Genesis God said that it was not good for man to be alone. God said “good” to everything that He created. With the exception of the second day, God proclaimed that what He had created was good. God did not say that “it was good” on the second day, because the firmament was the place of Satan. Moreover, on the sixth day, God did not say that “it was good”; in fact, He even said that something was not good after He created man. God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18). This is not to suggest that man was not created well. It means only that it was not good because there was just one man. Only half of man was created.

　God created a help meet for Adam on the sixth day. Eve was also made on the sixth day, and she was brought by God to Adam. She was made for the purpose of marriage. The words help meet mean “meet to help.” This word in Hebrew means “someone that matches, someone that renders help.”

　In considering Genesis 2:18, many Bible readers think that when God created man, He created a male plus a female. However, the Bible says only that God created man. His creation of man was His creation of male and female. The male and female made a complete man. It was as if God created half of a man in the beginning and then the other half after seeing that this man was only one-half. The two halves were joined together to become one. Only when the two halves were joined together was man complete. This is why God did not say that “it was good” until Eve was made. This shows us that marriage is not initiated by man but by God. The institution of marriage did not come after man’s fall but before it. Man did not sin on the first day of his creation; he was married on the first day of his creation. On the same day that God created Eve, He gave her to Adam. This is not something that happened after man sinned. Marriage is something initiated by God.

　In Genesis 2 we see marriage in God’s creation. In John 2, at the beginning of the Lord Jesus’ ministry, there was also a wedding in Cana. During that wedding the Lord Jesus changed the water into wine. This shows that the Lord not only allowed marriage but even approved and endorsed it. The Lord Jesus not only attended the wedding but even enhanced it and made it better. It is clear that marriage was initiated by God and particularly approved by the Lord Jesus. Therefore, it is something entirely of God.

　Here we see the place of marriage before God. God’s purpose is to have a husband and a wife, who will mutually help each other. Thus, He called Adam’s wife a help meet. Help meet in Hebrew means someone who is meet to help. Here we find that God wants man to live in a corporate way, to have mutual fellowship, and to render mutual help. This is God’s purpose.
　　在旧约，罪还没有进来的时候，神已经设立了婚姻。到了新约的时候，保罗在林前七章，就给我们看见说，因为有罪进来的缘故，不只不禁止婚姻，反而变作更需要婚姻。

　　婚姻能防止罪。所以保罗就告诉我们说，为了要免去奸淫的罪的缘故，男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫（2）。在林前七章里面，保罗并没有定性的感觉为有罪，他反而给我们看见，男女都应该结婚，才能防止罪。

　　你们记得，保罗说，不要为肉体安排（罗十三14）。比方有一个人，会犯骄傲的罪。保罗不能对他说，“你这一个人骄傲，常常犯罪；因怕你到处骄傲不对，就让你在家里骄傲吧！如果有地方骄傲，就不骄傲了。”如果这样作，这就叫作为肉体安排。你要骄傲，我安排一下，叫你不至于骄傲。神从来不这样作。再比方一个欢喜偷东西，你不能说，“你这个人这样欢喜偷，太不好了，我现在许可你偷某某弟兄的东西，就免得你偷别地方的东西。”不。你乃是说，“我不给你偷，任何地方都不可以偷。”偷东西绝对是罪，是不能安排的。骄傲绝对是罪，是不能安排的。但性不是绝对的罪，所以男人应该有自己的妻子，女人应该有自己的丈夫。不然的话，保罗这一句话就是为肉体安排。我们知道，使徒不为肉体安排，所以这不是罪。婚姻不是神为肉体安排。我们要在这里把婚姻摆在最高的地位上，看见婚姻是圣洁的，是神自己所设立的。

　　因为罪进来，婚姻能防止罪的产生，所以要有婚姻。这不是为肉体安排，这里面有相当清楚地分别。

　　保罗在林前七章说到婚姻的问题，在起头的时候就说，男人不能主张自己的身体，女人也不能主张自己的身体（4）。保罗在这里的教训是够清楚地，夫妻除非为了事奉主的缘故，否则就不应该分开，免得有奸淫（5）。神为着防止奸淫的缘故，就定规说，男女应该结婚，并且应该不分开。

　　保罗在这里用相当重的字眼，提起说，有的人是感觉过强的人。性的感觉过于强烈，为免欲火攻心，保罗说，应该结婚（9）。保罗没有责备这样的人。保罗没有说，“你有强的感觉是错的，你有强的感觉是罪，所以要为肉体安排。”保罗说，“你有强的感觉，你要结婚。与其有强的感觉，倒不如结婚好。”所以，神的话对于这件事非常清楚。性的感觉不是罪。就是性的感觉相当强的人也不是罪。并且神规定，性的感觉强的人应该结婚。不要一面又不结婚，一面又落到罪里面去。这就是主给我们看见的。

　　这样，婚姻的设立，就变作有旧约和新约两个不同的方面。在旧约里，乃是给我们看见说，有一个配偶，给我们帮助。在新约里乃是说，能够防止犯罪。所以今天在基督徒的婚姻中，一面是注意彼此的帮助，一面是为着防止犯罪。
 
　In the Old Testament God instituted marriage before sin came into the world. In the New Testament, Paul said that marriage not only is allowed but also is a necessity because of the presence of sin (1 Cor. 7).

　Marriage can prevent sin. This is why Paul said that men should have their own wives and women should have their own husbands. This is to prevent the sin of fornication (v. 2). Paul did not condemn the consciousness of sex as sin. On the contrary, he showed us that both the male and the female should marry in order to prevent sin.

　Paul said that we should make no provision for the flesh (Rom. 13:14). If a man constantly committed the sin of pride, Paul could not have said, “Since you always commit the sin of pride, you can be proud at home so that you will not be proud elsewhere! If you exercise your pride in one place, perhaps you will not exercise it elsewhere.” Saying this would have been to make “provision for the flesh.” God would never agree with his pride or my making some arrangement for him to exercise his pride. Consider a man who loves to steal. You should not say, “Since you like to steal, I will allow you to steal the things which belong to Brother So-and-so so that you will not steal from others.” You should not say this; instead, you need to say, “You cannot steal at all.” Stealing is definitely a sin, and we should not make any provision for it. Pride is definitely a sin as well, and we cannot make provision for it either. But sex is not a sin in an absolute sense. This is why men should have their own wives, and women should have their own husbands. If we do not understand this, we may think that Paul’s word was making provision for the flesh. But we know that the apostle did not make provision for the flesh. Therefore, we cannot consider marriage to be a sin. Marriage is not God’s provision for the flesh. We want to hold marriage on a high plane. It is something holy and ordained by God Himself.

　Marriage is necessary because sin has entered. Marriage can prevent sin. This is not to make provision for the flesh. There is a clear difference.

　In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul spoke about marriage. He began by saying that a wife does not have authority over her own body, and a husband does not have authority over his own body (v. 4). Paul’s teaching is quite clear. Except for the purpose of devoting themselves to the service of the Lord, the husband and the wife should not be separated. This prevents fornication (v. 5). In order to prevent fornication, God ordains that male and female should marry and not be separated.

　Paul used strong words to speak of those who have a compelling desire for sex. He said that they should marry in order to avoid burning with desire (v. 9). He did not reprimand such persons. Paul did not say, “You are wrong to have such a strong desire. You have sinned in having such a strong desire. Therefore, you have to make some provision for your flesh.” Instead, he said, “If you have a strong desire, you should marry. It is better to marry than to live with such a strong desire.” The Word of God is very clear concerning this. The consciousness of sex is not a sin. Even a strong sex urge is not a sin. But God has ordained that those who have a strong consciousness of sex should marry. They should not abstain from marriage on the one hand and fall into sin on the other hand. This is what the Lord has shown us.

　The institution of marriage has a New Testament aspect and an Old Testament aspect. The Old Testament shows us that marriage provides help that is meet. The New Testament says that it is instituted to prevent sin. One aspect of the Christian marriage today is mutual help, and the other aspect is the prevention of sin.
　　第三，彼得在他的前书三章七节说，妻子乃是“一同承受恩典的器皿。”换句话说，神喜欢夫妻一同来事奉祂。神欢喜有亚居拉、百基拉来事奉祂，欢喜有彼得和他的妻子，犹大和他的妻子，一同来事奉祂。

　　所以，在基督徒的婚姻里，有三个基本的性质。一个是彼此帮助，一个是防止犯罪，一个是两个人在神面前一同受恩。不只是一个人作基督徒，乃是两个人作基督徒。不只是一个人受恩，乃是两个人共同受恩。
 
　There is a third aspect. In his first Epistle, Peter said that the wives are “fellow heirs of the grace of life” (3:7). In other words, God delights to see husbands and wives serving Him together. God delighted to see Aquila and Prisca serving Him. He delighted to see Peter and his wife, Judah and his wife, serving Him together.

　Therefore, there are three basic elements of a Christian marriage. First, there is mutual help; second, there is the prevention of sin; and third, there is the joint inheritance of grace of two persons in the presence of God. One should not be a Christian alone but a Christian together with another person. One should not inherit grace alone but together with another person.
　　另一面，圣经也给我们看见说，有的人虽然有性的感觉，可是他这个感觉不强，没有需要来满足这个要求。圣经就劝这样的人守童身。
 
　The Bible also shows us that even though there is the consciousness of sex, this consciousness is not very strong with some people, and so there is no need for such a one to fulfill this need. The Bible advises such persons to keep their virginity.
　　不是说，童身比结婚更圣洁（指着属灵方面的）。但是，守童身的人，的确能够将身体的力量，完全用在主的工作上。这一个，也是在林前七章里提到的。

　　保罗给我们看见说，结婚的人有三个难处。第一，结婚是一个缠累。他说，“有妻子缠着。”（27）许多时候，人一结婚就不得自由，人一结婚就有许多事情要作。因为有妻子缠着，所以就不得不作。第二，结婚的人有苦难。他说，“肉身必受苦难。”（28）人一有婚姻，自然而然肉身的苦难就必加增，叫他不能专心事奉主。第三，结婚的人是为着世上的事挂虑（32~34）。这一个为着世上的事的挂虑，主耶稣在马太十三章说，很容易把麦子挤在荆棘里面，不能够结果子（22）。总而言之，结婚在家庭的事情上有它的难处：有缠累，有苦难，有挂虑。

　　保罗的这些话，不只是对作工的人说的，也是对所有的弟兄姊妹说的。人如果守童身，能够省去许多难处。保罗没有命令叫他们守童身，但是读保罗的话，保罗的倾向是要人守童身。保罗在那里没有什么自己的主张，只是将事实告诉弟兄们，你们如果结婚是好，因为能够免去犯罪的危险；可是结婚要叫你们多有缠累，多有苦难，同时多有世上的挂虑。
 
　Virginity does not make one more holy spiritually. However, a virgin can surely devote all his or her physical energy to the Lord’s work. This also is spoken of in 1 Corinthians 7.

　Paul shows us that there are three problems in marriage. First, marriage is a bondage. He says, “Have you been bound to a wife?” (v. 27). Often, a person is not free after he is married; once he is married he becomes occupied with many things. He is bound by his wife and has to take care of many things. Second, those who are married have affliction. Paul said, “But such ones will have affliction in the flesh” (v. 28). When a person is married, the affliction in the flesh increases, and it is hard for him to serve the Lord with a single heart. Third, those who are married care for the things of the world (vv. 32-34). In Matthew 13 the Lord indicates that these cares are like thorns which can easily choke the growth of the seed. The result can be barrenness (v. 22). In short, marriage brings in family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and anxiety.

　Paul’s words are not only for the co-workers but also for all the brothers and sisters. A person who keeps his virginity can be spared many difficulties. Paul did not command these ones to keep their virginity, but his words show his inclination toward this choice. Paul did not have any opinion of his own; he was merely telling the brothers the facts. Marriage is good, and it prevents the danger of sinning. But marriage also brings a person into family problems, entanglements, afflictions, and the anxieties of this world.
　　保罗在下面就给我们看见说，什么样的人可以守童身。他说，有的人，有神的恩赐的人，就可以守童身。守童身乃是神的一个恩赐。这个人接受神的恩赐是这样，那个人接受神的恩赐是那样。若是我需要结婚，连结婚也是神的恩赐，没有恩赐就结婚不来。所以保罗说，“各人领受神的恩赐，一个是这样，一个是那样。”（林前七7）守童身的人，有神的恩赐；结婚的人，也有神的恩赐。

　　一个守童身的人，第一个条件，就是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。你们知道，在有的人身上，性的力量是强迫他；在有的人身上，是只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫。凡是没有性的强迫的人，就可以守童身。

　　第二，自己有意思守，而且是坚定的。三十六至三十七节说，“若有人以为自己待他的童贞不合宜，也过了年岁，事又当行，他就可随意办理，不算有罪，成亲就是了。倘若人心里坚定，没有不得已的事，并且由得自己作主，心里又决定留下童贞，如此行也好。”（原文）保罗给我们看见说，守童身乃是人自己有这意思，人自己要。不只是我这一个人没有性的强迫，并且是我自己要守童身，我自己有意思守童身。若有人以为说，我这样待我的童身不对，他就可以结婚，若有人有意思守童身，有倾向守童身，并且是坚定的要在这里守，这一个人就可以守。所以心里的坚定是需要的。

　　第三，必须没有环境上的难处。三十七节提起说，“没有不得已的事。”有的人在环境上有难处，不容易安排。有的人如果要守童身，也许家庭里有许多难处。所以必须在环境上有安排，才能守童身。

　　保罗在这里给我们看见守童身的三个基本条件：（一）感觉不强迫。（二）心里坚定的要这样作。（三）没有环境上的难处。这三个条件都具备了，就能够守童身。
 
　Following this, Paul shows us the type of person who can keep his virginity. He said some have the gift from God to keep their virginity. It is a gift from God to keep one’s virginity. One person receives one kind of gift from God. Another person receives another kind of gift from God. If I need to marry, marriage is a gift from God; it takes a gift from God to marry. This is why Paul said, “But each has his own gift from God, one in this way, the other in that” (1 Cor. 7:7). Those who keep their virginity have the gift of God, and also those who are married have the gift of God.

　The first condition for keeping one’s virginity is that a person have only sex consciousness but no sex compulsion. Some people have the compulsion of sex. Others have only the consciousness of sex but not the compulsion. Only those who do not have a compulsion for sex can keep their virginity.

　Second, a person must have the desire to remain single and must be firm in his heart. Verses 36 and 37 say, “But if any one think that he behaves unseemly to his virginity, if he be beyond the flower of his age, and so it must be, let him do what he will, he does not sin: let them marry. But he who stands firm in his heart, having no need, but has authority over his own will, and has judged this in his heart to keep his own virginity, he does well” (New Translation, J. N. Darby). Paul shows us that to keep one’s virginity, the person must have the intention and willingness to keep it. If anyone thinks that it is wrong to keep his virginity, he can marry. If a person has the intention and the inclination to remain single, and if he is firm in his heart to keep his virginity, he can keep it. Hence, firmness in heart is a necessary requirement.

　Third, such a decision must not be in conflict with one’s circumstances. Verse 37 says, “Having no need.” Some have special considerations in their circumstances, and it is not easy for them to keep their virginity. Some may create many problems with their family if they keep their virginity. Hence, there must be the environmental provision before one can keep his virginity.

　Paul shows us the three basic conditions for keeping one’s virginity: They are (1) having no compulsion, (2) standing firm in one’s heart, and (3) not creating problems in one’s environment. Only when one meets all three conditions can he keep his virginity.
　　守童身的人，的的确确是能够在神面前多得着的人。我想，马太十九章是够清楚地给我们看见，守童身的人的的确确更容易进天国。我们必须承认，马太十九章里“为天国的缘故自阉的人，”（12）相当明显是说到守童身与天国发生关系。我们不敢说，守童身与天国发生什么关系，但是我们能说，守童身的的确确对于进天国有上算的地方。所以，主才在这里告诉我们说，有的人为着进天国的缘故自阉，要守童身。

　　不只如此，到了启示录十四章，你看见那些初熟的果子（十四万四千人），都是守童身的；羔羊无论往哪里去，他们都跟着。（3~4）这十四万四千人是特别早被提的人。所以我们看见，守童身的的确确与被提发生关系。将来我们要知道，守童身的人的的确确在进天国和被提的事上上算。至于今天呢？保罗说，守童身的的确确能够减少苦难，能够好好的事奉神。

　　这一件事，我们只能摆在弟兄姊妹面前。因为人必须没有性的强迫才能作。必须自己能够定规才能作，也必须在环境上有这一个安排，没有什么特别的需要才能作。我们就是按着圣经的教训，很客观的摆在弟兄姊妹面前，让各人在神的面前有挑选。
 
　Those who keep their virginity have much to gain before the Lord. Matthew 19 clearly shows that it is easier for a virgin to enter the kingdom of the heavens. We have to acknowledge that “there are eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs because of the kingdom of the heavens.” Matthew 19 clearly speaks of the relationship between virginity and the kingdom of the heavens. We dare not say specifically what relationship there is between virginity and the kingdom of the heavens. However, we can say that keeping one’s virginity definitely has its advantage in entering the kingdom of the heavens. The Lord tells us here that there are some who made themselves eunuchs, who keep their virginity for the sake of the kingdom of the heavens.

　This is not all. Revelation 14 shows us that the firstfruits (the hundred and forty-four thousand) are virgins. They follow the Lamb wherever He may go. These hundred and forty-four thousand are the early raptured ones. Virginity definitely has something to do with rapture. We will find one day that virgins have a clear advantage in entering the kingdom of the heavens and in being raptured. What about today? Paul said that keeping one’s virginity indeed reduces afflictions and enables a person to serve God well.

　We can only present these facts to the brothers and sisters. Only those who do not have a compulsion for sex, who are firm in their heart, and who find adequate provisions in their environment can keep their virginity. We are presenting this matter in an objective and biblical way before the brothers and sisters. Everyone should make his or her own choice before the Lord.
　　在婚姻的事情上，神曾安排下条件，就是与谁能结婚，与谁不能结婚。神在圣经里给我们看得够清楚，神的子民的婚姻，只应当限于神的子民之中。换句话说，如果有婚姻的事，是应该以神的子民为对象，不应该在神的子民之外来结婚。
 
　Concerning the matter of marriage, God has laid down definite guidelines on whom one can marry and whom one cannot marry. The Bible shows us clearly that the marriages of God’s people should be restricted to those among themselves only. In other words, if one is to be married, his spouse must be sought from among God’s own people, not from other people.
　　在旧约里，就有够多的命令，给我们看见说，我们不应该在神的子民之外与别的人结婚。

　　申命记七章三至四节告诉我们，不可与以色列人之外的迦南人结婚。不可将女儿嫁给他们的儿子，也不可叫儿子娶他们的女儿。因为他们必使我们转离不跟从主，去事奉别神。所以，神在旧约里已经够清楚地给我们看见，婚姻的对象乃是在主里的人。不能在信主的人之外找妻子，不能在信主的人之外找丈夫。不然的话，最大的难处，就是要叫我们离弃耶和华，去事奉别神。妻子跟着丈夫去拜偶像，是容易的事。丈夫跟着妻子去拜偶像，也是容易的事。因为既然结婚，就很容易去拜他们的神。

　　约书亚二十三章十二至十三节，也警戒以色人，不要与当地的人结婚。他们要成为一个网罗，要成为你的刺，在你身上。你要看见，你的妻子是你的刺，你的丈夫是你的刺，结果你们要落到网罗里去。

　　在尼希米的时候，以色列人从被掳之地回到犹太地后，有许多人因为娶外邦女子为妻，结果落到一个地步，他们不能讲犹太的话。所以，在尼希米十三章二十三到二十七节，要他们与外邦女子完全断绝，不要与外邦女子有来往。在这里你们要看见，与外邦的女子结婚，有一个难处，就是你所生的儿女，迟早要跟他们走，不能和你一同事奉神。你们如果娶外邦人，或是嫁给外邦人，你们的儿女很容易跟着他们走，落到世界里去，这是相当难的事。

　　玛拉基章二十一节给我们看见，以色列人有许多诡诈的罪，他们亵渎神的圣洁，因他们娶外邦人为妻。以神的眼光来看，娶外邦女子，就是亵渎神的圣洁。所以，基督徒的婚姻乃是有对象的，基督徒婚姻的对象只应该是在信徒中间。

　　我们从所罗门的事也可以得到一个鉴戒。所罗门是最有智慧的王，但因为娶外邦的女子，就也拜偶像，陷入拜偶像的地步。
 
　There are sufficient commandments in the Old Testament to show us that we should not marry anyone outside of God’s people.

　Deuteronomy 7:3-4 says that the Israelites should not marry the Canaanites. They should neither give their daughters to the Canaanites’ sons, nor take their daughters for their sons, because the Canaanites would turn them from following the Lord and would seduce them to serve other gods. God clearly shows through the Old Testament that one should look for a marriage partner among the Lord’s people. One cannot look for a wife or a husband among unbelievers. The greatest problem with going after unbelievers is that the other person may turn one away from the Lord to serve other gods. It is easy for wives to follow their husbands to worship idols. It is also easy for husbands to follow their wives to worship idols. Since both are married, it is very easy for one to follow the other to worship other gods.

　Joshua 23:12-13 warns the Israelites against marrying the people of the land. They were warned that the latter would become snares and thorns in their eyes. Their wives or their husbands would become their thorns, and they would be ensnared.

　At the time of Nehemiah, the Israelites returned from captivity to the land of Judah. Many had married Gentile wives and could not speak the Hebrew language. Nehemiah charged them in 13:23-27 to sever all ties with the Gentile women and not to have any dealings with them. Here we see a basic problem in marrying a Gentile woman: Sooner or later the children will follow the mother and not follow the father to serve God. If you marry a Gentile, your children will easily follow your Gentile partner and go into the world. This is quite a problem.

　Malachi 2:11 shows us that the Israelites committed treacherous sins and profaned the holiness of God because they took Gentiles to be their wives. In God’s sight, marrying a Gentile woman is to profane the holiness of God. Hence, Christians should look for marriage partners only among the believers.

　We can also take warnings from the failure of Solomon. Solomon was the wisest king, yet he fell into idolatry through marrying Gentile women.
　　在新约里，保罗对我们说的话够清楚。林前七章三十九节，他对寡妇说，要嫁给在主里的人。

　　林后六章十四节，这是一段顶有名的圣经，给我们看见，信的和不信的不能同负一轭。这句话不只是指着婚姻说的，但是也包括婚姻在内。信的和不信的不要作同样的事，不要为着同一个目的，就像把一个轭摆在两个人的背上来犁田，这是神不许可的。神不许可一个信的和一个不信的在那里负一个轭。在旧约里面，一只牛不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。一匹驴也不能和一匹马摆在一个轭底下犁田。不能一个快，一个慢。不能一个往这一边走，一个往那一边走。不能一个往天上去，一个往世界去。不能一个要得着属灵的祝福，一个要得着世界的丰富。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边，这一个轭非折断不可。

　　在信的和不信的不能同负一轭的事情上，没有一件事比婚姻更厉害。从合股作生意起，或者加入什么事起，一直到婚姻为止，最厉害的轭是婚姻。信的人和不信的人一同在那里负起家庭的责任，结果定规是相当的难。所以，最理想的结婚对象必须是弟兄，是姊妹。千万不要随意去找不信的人。你如果随意去找外面不信的人，将来定规相当困难。一个拉这一边，一个拉那一边。一个往天上去，一个往世界去。一个寻求天上的恩赐，一个寻求世界的丰富。其间不知道差多少倍。所以圣经的命令，要嫁娶在主里面的人。
 
　Paul’s word in the New Testament is clear enough. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, he told the widows to marry those who were in the Lord.

　Second Corinthians 6:14 is a well-known portion of the Bible. It says that believers and unbelievers should not share the same yoke. These words do not refer to only marriage. But they certainly speak also of marriage. Believers and unbelievers should not be engaged in the same business; they should not join themselves in one goal, like two animals plowing the field with one yoke. God does not allow this. He does not allow a believer and an unbeliever to bear the same yoke. In the Old Testament, an ox and a horse could not be yoked together, and an ass could not be equally yoked with a horse. You cannot have one that is fast and another that is slow. It is impossible to have one going one direction and the other going another direction, or one turning to heaven and the other turning to the world. You cannot have one seeking after spiritual blessings and the other seeking after worldly riches. It is impossible for one to pull in one direction and the other to pull in the other direction. If you do, the yoke will break.

　Of all unequally yoked relationships, none is more serious than the marriage relationship. One may be unequally yoked with others in business ventures or in other things. But no yoke is more severe than the marriage yoke. When a believer and an unbeliever share the responsibility of a family together, the result will be nothing but problems. The ideal marriage partner is a brother or a sister. Never choose an unbeliever capriciously. If you pick out an unbeliever carelessly, you will surely encounter problems later. One will be pulling to one side, and the other will be pulling to the other side. One will turn to heaven, and the other will turn to the world. One will seek a heavenly gift, and the other will seek worldly riches. The difference between the two is tremendous. This is why the Bible charges us to marry those in the Lord.
　　在这里发生一个问题，假定有一个弟兄已经结婚了，他的妻子是不信的；或者有一个姊妹，她的丈夫是不信的，那该怎么作？刚才是说，人如果没有结婚，人如果要寻找对象，就应该寻找主里面的弟兄，主里面的姊妹。但是，有的人已经结婚了，已经有一个不信的妻子，或者有一个不信的丈夫，该怎么办？
 
　But here is a problem: Suppose a brother is already married to an unbeliever, or a sister is already married to an unbelieving husband. What should they do? We mentioned earlier that a single person should seek a partner who is in the Lord. However, there are some who are already married. They already have an unbelieving wife or an unbelieving husband. What should they do?
　　这一件事，在林前七章里有记载。七章十二节、十三节、十五节，答复这一个问题说，如果夫妻中有一个信了主，在家庭里面发生了难处，要怎么办。请你们记得，今天因为许多人信主信得不彻底，所以家庭里的难处不多。主耶稣在福音书里，预料家庭的难处是多的。信主的人如果信得彻底，家庭里就要发生事情。路加福音里所说的三个和两个相争，两个和三个相争，都是因着信主而发生的。所以，今天如果有一个丈夫，因着妻子信主的缘故，他走开；他说，你信了主，我不要你。这时，这位妻子该怎么办？主在林前七章这里的话是够清楚地，就是让他走。所以，如果有丈夫因着妻子信主的缘故要走开，如果有妻子因着丈夫信主的缘故要走开，就让他离开吧。

　　可是，这一件事必须弄清楚，就是说，主动的不是我们，乃是他。不是我说要走开，乃是他说要走开。是他在那里不满意，以为你相信了主，没有前途，所以他要走。如果他要走，就让他走。
 
　First Corinthians 7 has something to say about this matter. Verses 12, 13, and 15 address this point. They tell us what to do when a dispute arises in a family that has only one member who is a Christian. Please bear in mind that many such families today complain little, simply because the believers in these families are not absolute enough. The Lord Jesus predicted in the Gospels that there would be much contention within the family. If a believer is absolute, there is bound to be contention in the family. There are cases of “three against two and two against three,” as in Luke 12:52, because some family members have become believers. Suppose a husband leaves his wife because she has believed in the Lord. Suppose he says, “You have believed in the Lord; I do not want you anymore.” What should the wife do? The Lord’s word in 1 Corinthians 7 is clear enough: “Let him separate” (v. 15). Therefore, if a husband wants to separate because the wife has believed in the Lord, or vice versa, the word is, “Let him separate.”

　However, one thing must be clear: You must not be the one who initiates the separation. You must not be the one who asks for the separation. The other party must be the one who asks for it. He is the one who is not happy with your faith in the Lord. He is the one who thinks that there is no future with you now that you have believed in the Lord. It is he who wants to go. If he wants to separate, “Let him separate.”
　　如果他无所谓，保罗说，那就不必离开。因为你怎么知道主不会因着你拯救他？他如果无所谓，他如果要住下去，保罗说，我们就应该和人和睦，我们不应该离开。他说，不信的人能够因为着信的人成圣。同时他说，你怎么知道不能拯救他呢？如果他要离开，那是他的事，不是你的事。如果他不离开，我们相信主会救他，并且保罗说，救他是相当容易的事。主救旁的人不容易，但这个人是你的人，主救他特别容易。我们要站在这一个地位上，来对付这一件事。
 
　Paul said that there is no need to separate if the other party does not care. How do you know that the Lord will not save him through you? If he does not care and wants to continue living with you, Paul said that you should be at peace with him and should not leave. He said that an unbeliever can be sanctified through a believer. He said also, “For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?” (v. 16). If the other party wants to leave, that is his concern, not yours. But if he does not want to leave, you have to believe that the Lord will save him. Paul said that it would be easy for him to be saved. It may not be that easy for the Lord to save others, but it would surely be easy for the Lord to save one who is already yours. We need to deal with this matter by taking such a stand.
　　还有的弟兄姊妹有另外的难处，就是已经和不信的人订了婚，那应该怎么办？
 
　Some brothers and sisters have another problem: They are engaged to unbelievers. What should they do?
　　主不要我们与不信的人结婚，这是相当清楚地。所以，若有人已经与不信的人订了婚，最好不信的未婚夫，或不信的未婚妻，自动的来解约。因为还没有结婚，不过有婚约而已。若是主开路，不信的那一方面因着你信主，而乐意解约，这是相当好的事。
 
　It is clear that the Lord does not want us to marry unbelievers. If someone is already engaged to an unbeliever, the best thing would be for the unbelieving fiancé or fiancée to voluntarily break the engagement. The two are not yet married; they only have an agreement to marry. If the Lord opens the way for the unbelieving side to voluntarily break the agreement because the other one has believed in the Lord, that is the best solution.
　　不过，这一件事，许多时候不可能。因为既然有了婚约，对方不会因为你信了主，就很容易的放手。这个时候要记得说，我与人订婚是与人立了一个约，那一个约就是我在神面前所给人的一个应许。基督徒不能因着自己信了主的缘故随便毁约。因为约在神面前都是圣的。你看见说，你如果能够向他提议分开，这是好的事。他可以提议离开，你也可以提议离开。这一个提议不一定要他主动，这和刚才的不一样。已经结了婚的，是他主动。已经订了婚的，我可以主动说，最好分开。他如果一定要我履行婚约，我就必定要履行。因为一个基督徒，话说出去了，就必须履行，不能破坏。神就是照着话行，所以有救恩。神如果说话不算数，就连救恩都没有了。所以，我们要和对方讲好，如果人不愿意，就非娶她，非嫁他不可。

　　诗篇十五篇里说，“他发了誓，虽然自己吃亏，也不更改。”（4）当以色列人进了迦南地后，基遍人欺骗了他们，用霉的饼，破的衣服，破的鞋子，来说他们是远处的人。约书亚就应许不杀他们。后来找出来他们是近处的人，但因已经立了约，所以神不许杀他们，至多叫他们作砍柴挑水的人。（书九3~27）所以，在圣经里，非常看重守约的事。他自己乐意放弃，我放弃不要紧。如果他不乐意放弃，我就不能放弃。基遍的事是非常厉害的。后来因为扫罗杀了基遍人，天就不下雨。大卫没有办法，就问基遍人怎么办？基遍人要把扫罗的子孙七个人悬挂在树上，大卫只得照办。（撒下二一1~6）所以，神不许可我们马马虎虎的毁约。我们必须学习，立了约就应当按着约行。我们不能作一件不义的事。
 
　However, it is often impossible to have such a solution. Because a marriage agreement exists, the other party may not easily let go just because you have believed in the Lord. At such times, you need to realize that an engagement to a person is a covenant with that person. Such a covenant is a promise you have made before God. A Christian cannot arbitrarily annul a covenant just because he has believed in the Lord. Any covenant is holy in the eyes of God. You can suggest a dissolution to the other party. The other party can initiate such a dissolution, or you can initiate it. The proposal need not be initiated by the other party. This is different from the earlier case. In the case of a marriage, the other party must initiate it. In the case of an engagement, you can initiate the dissolution of the engagement. If the other party insists that you fulfill the marriage agreement, you have to fulfill it. Once something comes out of the mouth of a Christian, he has to honor it; he cannot annul it arbitrarily. We receive salvation because God honors His word. If God did not honor His word, there would not be any salvation at all. Therefore, you have to negotiate with the other party. If the other party is unwilling to dissolve the relationship, you have to marry him or her.

　Psalm 15:4 says, “Should he swear to his harm, / He does not change.” After the Israelites entered the land of Canaan, the Gibeonites deceived them with dry, moldy bread, old patched shoes, and worn garments. They said that they came from a far country, and Joshua promised not to kill them. Later, he found out that they were actually from a near country. Because a covenant had been made with them, God would not allow the Israelites to kill them. At the most, they were made woodcutters and drawers of water (Josh. 9:3-27). Honoring one’s covenant is a serious matter in the Bible. It is all right for you to annul an engagement only if the other party is willing to annul it. But if the other party is not willing to annul it, you cannot annul it. The covenant with the Gibeonites produced serious consequences. Rain was withheld from heaven because Saul slaughtered the Gibeonites. David was forced to ask the Gibeonites what he should do for them. The Gibeonites demanded that seven of the sons of Saul be hung, and David had to comply (2 Sam. 21:1-6). God will not allow us to breach a covenant arbitrarily. We must learn to honor any covenant we make. We cannot do anything that is unrighteous.
　　你和人订了婚约，现在你信了主，对方一定要嫁，或者一定要娶，这怎么办？在这里有一件事你可以作，就是和对方先约好。你说，“我定规娶你，或者嫁你；不过有几件事，在没有结婚之前，我要和你讲好。”那几件事呢？第一，你必须让我能事奉主。我不是假冒的到你家里来，我是挂了旗子来的。我今天是基督徒，是嫁你也好，是娶你也好，你必须给我自由事奉主，你不能干涉我的事奉主。第二，如果将来有儿女，必须按着主的教训来养育他们。你信不信是你的事，但是我们的儿女，必须照主的教训来养育。话要说在先。这一件事绝对要提起，预先说好。不预先说好就有难处，预先说好就没有难处。嫁一个不信的人是一个损失，娶一个不信的人也是一个损失。要减少损失，减少难处，我们就得先说好。你要给我自由，儿女要信主。我已经作基督徒，我不往世界去。我已经作基督徒，我是往主那一边去。你如果觉得好就好，你如果觉得不好就解约。我们要把将来的行为摆在他们面前。我想，如果这样作，可以稍微减少一点难处。
 
　You have been engaged to someone, and now you have become a Christian. What should you do if the other party insists on marrying you? Here is something that you can do: Negotiate the terms with him ahead of time. You can say, “I will definitely marry you, but I would like to settle a few matters with you before marriage.” What are the few matters? First, the other party must allow you to serve the Lord. You should not move into the other party’s house with a false disguise; you should move in with an open banner. You are now a Christian. Even though you are marrying the other person, he must give you the liberty to serve the Lord. He must not interfere with your service to the Lord. Second, when you have children, they must be brought up according to the teaching of the Lord. Whether or not the other party becomes a Christian is up to him or her, but the children must be brought up according to the teaching of the Lord. You must settle this from the very beginning. Put this on the table first and have an agreement ahead of time. If you have an agreement, you will not face difficulties later. But if you do not make an agreement beforehand, you will face difficulties down the road. Marrying an unbeliever is always a loss. But you can minimize the loss and the headaches by coming to an agreement first. The other party must agree to give you the freedom to lead your children to the Lord. You have become a Christian. You will not go to the world. You will always be on the Lord’s side. If the other party is agreeable to this, you can proceed with the marriage. If the other party does not like it, he can annul the agreement. We need to inform the other party about our future commitment. This will tend to reduce the problems that will eventually come.
　　这乃是事实上的难处，而不是理想上的难处，我们只能说，在这件事上，在圣经里没有教训。不过，我们要摸保罗的感觉。保罗在林前七章里盼望说，如果可能，寡妇不出嫁。但是他又说，盼望寡妇嫁给在主里的人（39）。所以，当有需要的时候，寡妇可以出嫁。我们根据这一个原则，就能看见说，一个弟兄最好是娶在主里面的姊妹。如果没有那一个可能，他能够不娶是最好，他如果需要娶的话，我们还是愿意他娶。就是不信的，我们还是愿意他娶。

　　我们提起这一件事，并不是像世人所说，两害之中取其轻的。我们乃是说，宁可犯神行政上的罪，而不犯道德上的罪。我如果不结婚会犯罪，那是犯道德上的罪。我如果娶不信的女子，我是犯神行政上的罪。罪有两种，一种是道德上的罪，一种是神行政上的罪。请你们记得，道德上的罪比行政上的罪重。我宁可犯神行政上的罪，不可犯道德上的罪。今天一个弟兄有结婚的需要，找不到姊妹，他如果能够不娶更好，如果不能不娶，他就是娶不信的人，也只能让他娶。

　　如果你娶不信的人，你的眼睛必须开起来，必须知道难处非常大。一个人信主之后，如果娶一个不信的人，难处特别大。这比一对不信的夫妻，后来有一个相信了，所遭受的难处要大得多。后来信主的丈夫或妻子，他在家庭里面会遇到难处，但许多时候主要把他带过去。一个人已经相信了主，再去娶不信的人，许多时候，的确有许多难为。我们要告诉他，他的眼睛必须开着，知道在前面有难处。

　　一个人如果娶一个不信的人，还要告诉他，必须防备给对方带走。请记得，你娶不信的人，稍微不小心，很容易就给她带走。已经结了婚的，或者已经订了婚的，固然也要小心，但是这一个要特别小心。换句话说，要特别的保护、保守，特别的祷告，不要给她掳去。

　　你若不得已和不信的人结婚，也必须先把条件讲清楚。你要告诉这不信的人说，我已经信了，你信不信我不勉强你，可是你不能干涉我信仰的事，你要给我完全的自由。还有儿女的问题，也必须提起。关于儿女信仰的事，你必须给我自由带他信主。我要我的儿女相信主，我不要他们拜偶像，或者效法世人的样子。你把这些话说得差不多的时候，也许这一个问题可以勉强过去。

　　我要对年长一点的弟兄姊妹说几句话，当你们看到初信的弟兄姊妹遇见这样的问题时，你们要小心，不要给他们把门开得太大，以致他们随便与不信的人结婚。另一面，不要把门关得太紧，以致他们不犯行政上的罪，而去犯道德上的罪。宁可让他们碰着神的行政，落在神政治的手里，不可让他们犯道德上的罪。

　　关于这一面的事，我有一点意见。各地的青年弟兄姊妹并不少，若是在择配上发生难处，主要是因许多弟兄姊妹对于人的出身，对于人的背景看得太重。如果要一个身分高一点的弟兄，娶一个身分低一点的姊妹，他就不乐意。如果要一个身分高一点的姊妹，嫁给一个身分低一点的弟兄，她就不乐意。今天，弟兄并不缺少，姊妹也不缺少。就是由于这个门第问题，发生了许多难处。我想，如果弟兄姊妹对于职业的看法有点改变，这一个问题就容易解决。如果看种地的弟兄不是低的，姊妹出嫁就容易。如果看种地的姊妹不是低的，弟兄娶也容易。今天我们把神所以为高的职业看为低，把人所以为高的职业看为高，所以就不容易解决。今天在我们中间，不缺少姊妹，不缺少弟兄，所缺少的是门第上的相配。而这一个门第是世界的。所以，要将职业的观念完全转过来，这个问题才能解决。
 
　This is a real problem; it is not an imaginary one. But we can only say that there is no teaching in the Bible concerning this matter. However, we need to touch Paul’s heart. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul wished that the widows would remain single if possible. But then, he also wished that the widows would marry those who are in the Lord (v. 39). Therefore, widows can remarry if there is the need. According to this principle, we can say that the best thing for a brother to do is to marry a sister in the Lord. If it is not possible to do this, it is best if he does not marry at all. However, if he must marry, we still would be happy to see him marry. Even if the other party is an unbeliever, we still would like to see him marry.

　When we say this, we are not advocating, as the world says, “Choose the lesser of two evils.” We are saying that we would rather see a person commit a sin against God’s government rather than a moral sin. If by not marrying I fall into sin, I commit a moral sin. If I marry an unbelieving woman, I commit a sin against God’s government. There are two types of sin; one is moral sin, and the other is sin against God’s government. Please bear in mind that moral sin is more serious than sin against God’s government. If a brother needs to marry and he cannot find a sister, the best thing for him to do is stay single. But if he must marry, we should let him marry even if it means marrying an unbeliever.

　If you marry an unbeliever, you need to have your eyes open and realize that serious problems lie ahead. It is particularly hard for a believer to marry an unbeliever. The hardship is greater than that of an unbelieving couple in which one becomes a believer. A husband or wife who becomes a believer after being married may encounter hardship, but many times the Lord will bring him through. However, a believer who marries an unbeliever will face many difficulties. We need to warn him ahead of time, and he needs to open his eyes to the hardships ahead.

　If a person marries an unbeliever, we must warn him of another thing: He should be careful not to be carried away. He has to remember that he is marrying an unbeliever, and if he is careless, he will be easily led away. Of course, those who are married or engaged have to be careful as well, but those who are considering marriage should exercise even more care. In other words, they need special protection, preservation, and prayer, so that they will not be carried away by the other party.

　If you have no choice but to marry an unbeliever, you must also lay down the terms clearly beforehand. You need to tell the unbeliever, “I have already believed in the Lord. I will not force you to believe, but you cannot interfere with my faith. You must give me absolute freedom in this respect.” You need also to bring up the question of children. “You must give me the freedom to lead our children to the Lord. I want my children to believe in the Lord. I do not want them to worship idols or to be conformed to the world.” If you emphasize this point enough, perhaps you can get by with this issue.

　I will speak a few words to the more mature brothers and sisters. When you see a new believer struggling with such a problem, you must be very careful. Do not open the door too wide. Do not allow him to arbitrarily marry an unbeliever. On the other hand, do not close the door too tightly. Do not keep him away from governmental sin while exposing him to moral sin. It is better to let someone fall into God’s governmental hand than to let him fall into moral sin.

　I have something more to say about this. We have many young brothers and sisters in every locality. Most of the problems in finding a spouse arise when too many saints have too many expectations concerning the background and status of others. A brother who has a higher social status does not want to marry a sister with a lower status, and the reverse is also true. Today there is no lack of brothers and no lack of sisters. But the question of status has caused many problems. I think this question would be easily solved if the brothers and sisters would change their concept about occupation. It would be easy for sisters to marry if they did not belittle brothers who are farmers. It would also be easy for brothers to marry if they did not belittle sisters who are farmers. Today we look down upon occupations which God honors and exalt occupations which men worship. This is what makes things complicated. Today we have no lack of sisters and brothers, but we do not have many matching pairs according to status. Since the matter of status is a worldly consideration, we need to have a complete turn in our concept concerning occupation in order to solve this problem.

　[* Editor's Note: Watchman Nee dealt with the matter of concubines because of the problem at this point in China’s history.]

　In the Bible there is no command telling man to separate himself from his concubine. Nowhere in the Bible does God ask man to send his concubine away. I am talking about concubines whom one took before he believed in the Lord. In the Bible I think there is sufficient indication of how God wants man to take care of concubines.

　Perhaps we should look first at man’s demand before considering the Bible’s demand. Man’s immediate thought is to send away all his concubines. If the concubine cannot be sent away, man’s thought is for the husband to discontinue sexual relationships with her. This is a human concept, and unfortunately many brothers and sisters hold this concept. But this is not God’s revelation; it is in fact a heathen thought.
　　在圣经里，没有命令人脱离他自己的妾。在圣经里，没有一个地方，从神的眼光来看，要勉强人叫妾离开。这是指着没有信主之前所娶的。在圣经里，我想也有够多的地方给我们看见，神要人怎样对待他的妾。

　　或者，我先提起人今天的要求，然后来看圣经的要求。人的要求，第一，要把所有的妾遣散。第二，如果不遣散，丈夫不应该和他的妾有性的关系。这是弟兄姊妹普通的思想。但这不是神所给我们看见的，这是异教的思想。
 
　In the Bible no one took a concubine in a worse way than David. He not only took a concubine but even committed murder in taking that concubine. Uriah died because of his wife. David sacrificed Uriah to gain Bath-sheba. Solomon was born of Bath-sheba, and so was the Lord Jesus Himself. The Lord acknowledges this fact in the New Testament. Matthew 1 tells us about four women. Bath-sheba is included and is spoken of as the wife of Uriah. We must be clear about this fact: Those who have taken concubines should submit to God’s disciplining hand; they should never chase their concubines away.

　Why does the Bible not demand that the concubine be sent away? Please bear in mind that the sin of fornication and that of taking a concubine are two completely different things. If I steal a Bible today, I can return another Bible tomorrow. If I steal one thousand dollars today, I can return one thousand dollars tomorrow. But if I take a concubine today, I have no way to return her.

　Some brothers think that all concubines should be sent away. This is a consideration from the male’s point of view. All males should know that in God’s eyes taking a concubine is equal to committing adultery. However, on the side of the concubine, when she marries a male, she is not married to two husbands. The male is married to two women, but the concubine is not married to two husbands. We have to see that the Lord never asks the man to send his concubine away.

　I think the principle behind Solomon’s mother is very clear. The Lord sent Nathan the prophet purposely to David after David married Bath-sheba. Everything the Lord needs to say concerning this subject has already been said through Nathan; there is no need for you to add anything to his word. Even if Nathan had missed anything, there would still be no need for you or I to add a footnote to the subject three thousand years later. Nathan told David that his son would surely die, and judgment would come to him. Others would commit fornication with his wives in the sight of the sun, and the sword would never depart from his house (2 Sam. 12:7-14). Nathan did not ask David to send Bath-sheba away. If he were to send her away, what would she do? Uriah was already dead. Some are without their Uriah today, while the Uriah of others is dead. What should they do? When God sent Nathan to David, He did not ask David to chase Bath-sheba away. In fact, God later caused her to give birth to Solomon (v. 24). God did not cause any of the wives of David to give birth to Solomon. He caused David’s concubine, Bath-sheba, to give birth to Solomon. Moreover, the first page of the New Testament says, “And David begot Solomon of her who had been the wife of Uriah” (Matt. 1:6). The New Testament does not say that one can take a concubine. But it does not say that one needs to chase his concubine away either.
　　我们看见，在圣经里没有一个人娶妾比大卫更坏；他不只是娶妾，并且是谋害人命来娶妾。乌利亚的丧命，是因着妻子的缘故。大卫是牺牲乌利亚来得着拔示巴。而所罗门是拔示巴所生的。主耶稣也是拔示巴所生的。这一个事实，直到新约，主还承认。马太一章里面有拔示巴的名字，而且是说乌利亚的妻子。有四个女人在马太一章里面。这一件事情你们必须看见：娶妾的人只能自己伏在神管教的手下，不能把妾赶出去。

　　为什么圣经没有要求把妾赶出去呢？请你们记得，奸淫的罪，与娶妾完全不一样。我今天偷了人一本圣经，我能够还他一本圣经。我今天偷了人一千块钱，我能够还他一千块钱。我今天娶了一个妾，我没有法子还她。

　　有的弟兄以为说，应该把妾赶出去。他是从男人的眼光来看。男人在神面前要知道，娶妾是犯奸淫。但妾嫁给你，并没有嫁两个丈夫。你娶了两个女子，她没有嫁两个丈夫。所以，你们要看见说，主在这里没有叫人把妾赶出去。

　　我想，所罗门母亲的原则是够清楚地。主为着大卫娶拔示巴的缘故，特意差派先知拿单去找大卫。主所有的话，都已经叫拿单说了，所以不要在拿单之外，加上什么话。拿单所漏掉的，不必你在三千年后的今天再来补。拿单对他说，你的儿子要死，报应要来；十个妃嫔，人要在明处与她们犯奸淫；刀剑要在你的家里。（撒下十二7~14）拿单没有说，要把拔示巴打发回去。你把她打发回去，她怎么办？乌利亚死了。有的人没有乌利亚，有的人乌利亚死了，这怎么办？所以，神打发拿单去见大卫，并没有要大卫把拔示巴赶出去。反而到了后来，神叫她生所罗门（24）。在大卫的妻子中，神没有叫一个生所罗门，神却叫大卫的妾拔示巴生所罗门。并且新约第一页说，大卫从乌利亚的妻子生所罗门（太一6下）。新约里，没有说可以娶妾，但是也没有说要赶妾。
 
　Exodus 21:9-11 specifies that if a master betroths a maid to his son, he shall deal with her after the manner of daughters. If the son properly marries another later, the maid will become a concubine. God’s ordination is clear: Her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage shall he not diminish. If he does not do these three things to her, she shall go out free and be a slave no more. Thus, if anyone thinks that he cannot have intercourse with his concubine, he is not keeping the law of God. I hope that you can be clear about this matter.
　　出埃及二十一章九至十一节曾经规定，一个主人若选定一个婢女给自己的儿子，就当待她如同女儿。如果将来这个儿子正式娶亲，这一个婢女就变作妾。神在这里规定这一件事非常清楚，就是说，在她的吃食、衣服、并好合的事上不可减少。如果不向她行这三样，她就可以出去，不再是奴仆。所以，人如果以为不能与妾有好合的事，这是根本不遵守神的律法。我盼望你们将这一件事弄清楚。
 
　There is only one portion of the Word that addresses the matter of concubines in the New Testament. In reading the Bible, we love to see a certain matter that is mentioned only once. If a certain matter is mentioned twice, we have to make a comparison. If it is mentioned three or more times, we need to integrate the different portions before we can arrive at a conclusion about God’s teaching. This is why every Bible student loves single-incident injunctions, because one needs to refer to only one case in order to know God’s will. There is only one portion in the New Testament—1 Timothy—that only indirectly refers to the matter of concubines. There it says that an overseer must be the husband of one wife. This means that all who have concubines cannot be elders in the church. However, the New Testament does not say that such a one should send his concubine away or abstain from fulfilling her duty of marriage.
　　在新约里，只有一个地方，讲到妾的问题。我们读圣经，就是喜欢看到一件事只有一个地方提起。如果在圣经里，一件事有两个地方提起，就必须比较。如果有三个以上的地方提起，就要综合起来看，才能知道神的教训。所以，每一个圣经的学者，都喜欢只有一个地方的话，因为只要读这一个地方，就知道神对于这一件事的旨意。在新约里，只有一个地方，就是提摩太前书，提到妾的问题。那里说，作教会长老的人，只应该作一个妇人的丈夫（三2）。所以，凡娶妾的人，在教会里不应该作长老。但是，新约圣经并没有说，他应该把妾赶出去，或者说不应该有好合的事。
 
　If a concubine is saved and has no compulsion for continued sexual relationships, it is good if she is willing to separate from the husband. But this is something voluntary; it is not a commandment of the Lord nor a commandment of the church. The church should not demand anything concerning this matter.

　God has put only two together, and this principle should be maintained. It is quite obvious that a person who takes a concubine will suffer more affliction in the body than one who upholds monogamy. This one will naturally experience more discipline from the Lord.
　　如果一个妾已经得救了，她只有性的感觉，而没有性的强迫，愿意和丈夫分开，也是好事。这是自愿，不是主的要求，也不是教会的要求。教会对于这一件事不应该有要求。

　　神所配合的只有两个。这一个原则，无论如何要维持。所以，相当明显，一个人娶了妾，肉身上的苦难就比娶一个妻子的要多，在管治上要大大增加。
 
　The Bible speaks of divorce, but divorce is sanctioned by the Scripture under only one condition. There are many ordinances regarding divorce among the nations of the world. Some countries have more than twenty ordinances on the subject. The Chinese also have many ordinances. For example, if either party is mentally unsound or if there is incompatibility of any kind, the couple can divorce each other. But the Bible gives only one condition for divorce—adultery. Factors such as mental instability or prolonged separation do not constitute legitimate reasons for divorce. The only reason for a divorce is extramarital sexual conduct. In Matthew 19 and Luke 16 the Lord Jesus shows us clearly that divorce is permitted only if adultery is involved.
玖
　
离婚
　　在圣经里，有离婚的规定。但是，在圣经里，离婚只根据一个条件。世界各国的法律，对于离婚有许多规定；有的国家规定了二十几条，我们中国也规定了多少条，说到夫妻若有一方精神丧失，或不同意等等，就能够离婚。但是在圣经里，只有一个条件可以离婚，那唯一的条就是犯奸淫。人精神丧失也好，失踪多年也好，这些都不是条件。乃是与别人有性的行为，这是唯一的条件。主耶稣在马太十九章，路加十六章里清楚给我们看见，人如果犯了奸淫，就可以离婚。
 
　Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because man should not separate what God has joined together. In other words, the husband and wife are one in the sight of God. All divorces violate this oneness. What is adultery? It is the destruction of that oneness. If you commit sexual acts with someone other than your wife or your husband, you have committed adultery and have violated that oneness. A wife or a husband may be missing for years or may be mentally sick. There may be psychological harassment or other factors involved, but if one party turns away and marries someone else, he is breaking the oneness and has committed adultery in reality.
　　你们也许要问，为着什么犯奸淫就可以离婚呢？因为神所配合的，人不可分开。换句话说，从神看来，夫妻乃是合一的，任何的离婚都是破坏这一个合一。什么叫作犯奸淫？就是破坏那一个合一。你在你自己的丈夫之外，你在你自己的妻子之外有性的行为，你犯了奸淫，你就是破坏了合一。所以，请你们记得，不管一个失踪了多年也好，精神丧失也好，精神虐待也好，或者其他的理由也好，他的丈夫或妻子若是离开，去和别人结婚，就是破坏合一，犯了奸淫。
 
　Divorce is allowed in the case of adultery because the oneness has already been broken. Originally, the wife was one with her husband. When the husband commits adultery, she becomes free. When the oneness was there, she had to preserve it. Now that the oneness has been broken by the husband, the wife is free. Thus, adultery is the only condition for divorce. A wife can leave her husband if he has committed adultery. If a sister finds her husband committing adultery or taking another woman, she can divorce her husband, and the church cannot stop her. She can divorce her husband, and she can remarry. Anything that destroys the oneness is sin. A person can leave his or her spouse only where adultery is involved, because adultery has destroyed the oneness. Divorce is but a declaration that the oneness between a husband and a wife is gone. Since the oneness is gone, one can remarry.

　Matthew 19 and Luke 16 are two clear passages concerning this subject, and we have to pay much attention to them. Divorce is based on adultery. Adultery breaks the original oneness between a husband and a wife. The two are no longer one, but have become two. Therefore, they can divorce. They can divorce each other because there is no more oneness between them. Actually a divorce has already occurred when one party commits adultery; it does not begin with the divorce proceedings. The so-called divorce proceedings are but a procedure. Marriage begins with the declaration of oneness, and divorce is a declaration that such a oneness no longer exists. This is why divorce is permitted where adultery is found. A divorce that is not based on adultery means that both parties are committing adultery. Suppose neither a husband nor a wife has committed adultery. They cannot have a divorce even if they cannot get along with each other. Once they divorce each other, they have committed adultery. If the oneness has not yet been broken when one tries to remarry, he or she is in reality committing adultery. Only when the oneness no longer exists can a person remarry.

　We need to know what marriage is. Marriage means oneness; it means that two persons are no longer two, but one flesh. Adultery destroys this oneness, while divorce is but an announcement of the destruction of this oneness. Today if the oneness is gone between two persons, a remarriage is justified. But suppose the oneness is still there. The two may quarrel bitterly, they may not get along with each other, and they may threaten to divorce each other. The world and civic laws may even allow them to divorce each other. But in God’s eyes, the two still cannot divorce each other. If they divorce each other, they have committed adultery in reality. Divorce is allowed only where adultery has already occurred. We must see that no one can separate what God has joined together. Since there is already a union, one must never try to break it for any reason at all.
　　为什么犯奸淫可以离婚呢？因为已经把合一破坏了。你本来和你的丈夫是合一的，你的丈夫一犯奸淫，你就可以自由。本来是合一的，所以你要保守。现在那一个合一他已经失去了，所以你可以自由。所以，犯奸淫是唯一离婚的条件。丈夫犯奸淫，妻子要离开，可以。如果有一个姊妹，她的丈夫犯奸淫，或者娶妾，这一个姊妹可以离婚，教会不能拦阻。她不只可以离婚，还可以改嫁。任何破坏这一个合一的，都是罪。所以只有犯奸淫可以离开，因为犯奸淫已经破坏了那合一。离婚不过是宣布说，我和我丈夫的合一已经没有了。没有合一，她要改嫁就可以。

　　马太十九章，路加十六章，是两个够清楚地地方，我们要好好的注意。离婚是根据奸淫。奸淫把老的合一破坏了，夫妻不再是一个，是两个了，所以可以离婚。为什么可以离婚？因为已经没有合一了。所以，夫妻的离婚，是在一方犯奸淫的时候，不是在办离婚手续的时候。今天所谓的离婚，不过是手续而已。婚姻的存在，是宣告那一个合一的存在；离婚，是宣布那一个合一已经不存在。所以，犯了奸淫可以离婚。没有犯奸淫而离婚，结果双方都是犯奸淫。假定说，丈夫和妻子都没有犯奸淫的事，就是相处不好，也不能离婚。一旦离婚了，就是犯奸淫。那一个合一还在，如果改嫁改娶，都是犯奸淫。只有合一不存在，才可以离婚。

　　所以我们要认识，什么叫作婚姻？婚姻就是合一。两个人不再是两个人，是一体。奸淫就是拆毁合一。离婚是宣布合一的拆毁。今天合一在我们中间已经没有了，所以可以改嫁。合一如果还在，两个人就是吵得顶厉害，不相和，要离婚；世界上的人许可，世界上的法律也许可，但从神的眼光来看，不许可。先离婚反而是犯奸淫。只有先犯奸淫后离婚才是可以的。我们一定要看见说，神所配合的，人不能分开。既然有了配合，千万不要分开，这是不可能的事。
 
　The Bible allows widows and widowers to remarry for the same reason. Marriage is something that lasts till death. In resurrection there is no marriage relationship. In resurrection men neither marry nor are given in marriage (Matt. 22:30). Marrying and being given in marriage are things of this world. The angels neither marry nor are given in marriage. Resurrected men likewise neither marry nor are given in marriage. Marriage is a thing of this age, not of the next age. Therefore, marriage ends with death. After one’s partner dies, he or she may remain unmarried for the sake of cherished affection. But the Bible says nothing to forbid him or her from remarrying someone else.

　Consider the teaching in Romans 7 which says that every Christian is a remarried person. We were remarried through the death and resurrection of Christ. Romans 7 shows us that a wife is bound by the law to her husband as long as he is alive. After the husband dies, the wife can marry another man. Whoever marries another man while her husband is alive is an adulteress. If we are not yet dead to the law or if we are Seventh-day Adventists, yet we are married to Christ, all of us are adulteresses. Thank God, we have only one husband. The Seventh-day Adventists have two husbands. Romans 7 says that we could not belong to Christ as long as the law was still alive; if we had belonged to Christ then, we would have been adulteresses. We were originally married to the law, and we belonged to the law. However, we have died through Christ. Today, when we turn to Christ, we are not adulteresses. All of us have been remarried to Christ. We are dead to the law, and we are not adulteresses. Romans 7 tells us that a wife is bound to her husband until his death. After the husband dies, the wife is free. It is wrong for anyone in the church to think that widows should not remarry. This is a heathen concept.

　It is all right if a widow wants to remain single like a virgin. Paul said, “It is good for them if they remain even as I am” (1 Cor. 7:8). To live alone like a virgin for the sake of serving the Lord is right, but to remain unmarried because of criticism and social pressure is wrong. I hope that this concept can be removed from the church.

　Paul told Timothy, “I will therefore that younger widows marry” (1 Tim. 5:14). The same applies to widowers. Today the issue is whether or not one has the need for marriage. Some have a physiological need. Others have a psychological need; they would feel lonely if they did not marry again. Some have a need because of their family. It is all right for a brother or a sister to remarry after his or her spouse has died. No Christian should criticize another on this matter. We need to eradicate all heathen concepts from our mind.
　　为着这个缘故，圣经里也就许可，已经死了妻子的人可以再娶，寡妇可以再嫁。婚姻只到死为止。婚姻的关系，复活的时候不存在。复活的时候，人也不娶，也不嫁（太二二30）。娶和嫁是在这一个世界里面的事。天使也不娶，也不嫁。复活的人也不娶，也不嫁。嫁娶是今生的事，不是来生的事。所以，婚姻是到死为止。到了死的时候，你如果为着已往情感的缘故，不娶不嫁也可以。你如果要再娶或再嫁，圣经里许可这件事。

　　我们可以注意罗马七章的教训。那里说，每一个基督徒都是再嫁的人。借着基督的死，借着基督的复活，我们再嫁了。罗马七章给我们看见说，丈夫管人是在活着的时候，丈夫死了，妻子就可以再嫁。凡丈夫没有死而另嫁的，就是淫妇。如果我们在律法上没有死，作安息日会的人，那我们都是淫妇。感谢神，我们只有一个丈夫。安息日会有两个丈夫。罗马七章的教训说，律法没有死，我们不能属乎基督；如果属乎基督，我们就是淫妇。我们本来是嫁给律法的人，是属乎律法的人。但因着基督，我们已经死了；今天我们拣选基督，不是淫妇。我们都是再嫁给基督的人。我们在律法上已经死了，所以我们不是淫妇。所以，罗马七章说，丈夫管妻子是到死为止。丈夫一死，妻子就有自由。在教会里，绝不应该有一个观念，以为寡妇再嫁是错的。这一种的思想，是外邦人的思想。

　　如果寡妇像守童身的人一样，不再嫁人，这是好的。保罗说，我盼望寡妇和没有嫁娶的人，能像我一样。如果是为着事奉主，也像守童身那样独身是对的。如果是因着社会上人的批评，社会上人的看法而不结婚，这是错的。我盼望在教会里能除去这一个看法。

　　保罗对提摩太说，我盼望年轻的寡妇出嫁，这就像一个弟兄再娶一样。今天的问题，是你有没有那一个需要。有的在生理上有那一个需要。有的人觉得孤单，这是心理的需要。有的人家庭环境有需要。如果有的弟兄死了妻子，结婚是对的。如果有的姊妹死了丈夫，结婚也是对的。基督徒不可在这件事上有批评。我们要把异教的思想拿走。
 
　In the Bible God acknowledges the validity of sex. There is nothing wrong with the consciousness of sex or sex itself. The consciousness of sex is not sin; in fact, it is holy. However, this is true only within the context of a marriage. In a marriage, sex is good and holy. But any sexual consciousness or sexual act outside the bounds of oneness is sin. Have you seen the difference? What is sin? It is sex outside of marriage. Why? Because sex outside of marriage is a breach of the oneness of a marriage. Therefore, sex is a sin only when it destroys the oneness. Sex has nothing to do with sin when it is sex alone. Sex itself is not sinful. We must see this clearly before the Lord.

　In Matthew 5:28 the Lord Jesus said, “But I say to you that every one who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The word looks here involves the will. It is not just seeing a woman but looking at her. Seeing is passive, while looking is active. This looking is followed by the phrase in order to lust after her. It is not a passing lustful thought that comes to one’s mind when he sees a woman, but a look at a woman that is for the purpose of lusting after her. Lusting comes first, and then looking. This look is the second look, not the first look. The first look is a random look at a woman on the street. The second look is to actually look at her. Between the first look and the second look, a lustful thought has come in. The second look is therefore for the purpose of lusting after a woman. The second look is the third step in the process. The Lord Jesus is not talking about the first look, but the look which is the third step. When some see a woman on the street, they do not control themselves and lust after her. Satan injects lustful thoughts into men, and they turn and look the second time. The second look is sin. Sin is having lustful thoughts and looking at someone the second time.

　Matthew 5 says that everyone who looks at a woman in order to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. The Lord Jesus is not referring to the first look. It is wrong to involve the first look in this discussion. Suppose I see a woman on the street by accident. Satan may inject lustful thoughts into me. If I reject them, that is the end of it. But if I turn and look at her again, that is sin. Please bear in mind that the consciousness of sex is not sin. It becomes sin only when there is the consent of the will. When such a consent of the will happens outside the context of marriage, the oneness is destroyed by the will. It is sin to destroy the oneness in one’s conduct. In God’s eyes, it is sin also to destroy the oneness in one’s will.

　In the Old Testament, only adultery is spoken of as sin; fornication is not mentioned as sin. The Old Testament forbids only adultery, because man did not have enough knowledge of himself yet. What is adultery? Adultery is sin committed by those who are married. What is fornication? Fornication is sin committed by those who are not married. The act is the same, but the sin is not the same. We can say that a prostitute commits only fornication, but not adultery, because she is not married. We have to realize that God does not want man to commit fornication. The Old Testament speaks only of the sin of those who are married; it does not speak of those who are not married. It does not mean that there is no such thing in the Old Testament, but the term is not there. Here we see that the act that destroys oneness—adultery—is sin. But the act that does not destroy oneness—fornication—is sin as well.

　We need to see that adultery is sin and that fornication is also sin. To destroy the oneness of the married ones is sin. Fornication, which happens to those who are not married and which seemingly does not destroy oneness is also sin. Christians should not commit adultery; neither should they commit fornication. We must see that sex is holy; sex consciousness is not a sin. Sex within marriage is holy and is not a sin. But if you are married and have sex outside of marriage, that is adultery. If you are not married but have sex, that is fornication. As believers we must not commit adultery, and we must not commit fornication.

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